Thoughts on old fics (Hyde centric ones)

[write_my_dreams]

The majority of my active LJ followers are in for my D fics but before I wrote D I was a huge fan of Hyde.

Last week when I was going through my fanfiction folder and doing some re-organizing so it'd be easier to find my way around, I came across the folders for Breaking the Habit and Famous Last Words. These were my two big projects of 2012 that were supposed to be oh so grand and epic.

...Neither worked. I got parts of Breaking the Habit done and a few chapters, then decided I'd been too ambitious with this fic. It wasn't going to work. I wrote various scenes from Famous Last Words and made many changes to my outline before I realized that this fic also was not going to work out. I decided it should be an original novel and reworked the idea, changed some characters, and came up with an idea I was pleased with. That novel idea is still in progress. But occasionally Breaking the Habit and Famous Last Words come back to haunt me and I think about the various documents for both I have in my folders.

For a memory refresher -  I'd posted some of Breaking the Habit. Hyde and Sakura are in a relationship but Sakura ends up getting addicted to heroin because he's depressed about his life. Hyde struggles with his addiction and Sakura tries to quit but isn't strong enough to last through the withdrawal symptoms.
Hyde eventually leaves Sakura because he can't take the drugs and Sakura's creepy dealers coming by to harass him. He's depressed for a while, runs into Gackt and You and after an awkward meeting ends up getting closer to them. Then he gets a job as an artist at the Vamps tattoo parlor. There was eventual Kaz x Hyde too.

Famous Last Words is about Hyde getting into debt, borrowing from Kiyoharu who really is a yakuza loan shark and is forced to sell himself by working as a whore to pay off his debts. Gackt and You are police officers investigating Kiyoharu's various shady businesses and later Hyde meets Sakura again.
This was supposed to be a love triangle of Sakura x Hyde and Gackt x Hyde.
Shit happens and the fic takes a darker, more psychological turn. Eventually Hyde is freed but he's mentally scarred by his experiences and is pretty damaged. It takes time for him to recover and he eventually takes Sakura back as his lover.
So. That one. I have various scenes throughout the fic written. Some beginning, random in the middle, the more psychological ones... there's a bunch.

My question to readers is: would you be interested in reading the scenes I've written? I won't be going back and finishing either of the fics. I don't have the time/interest/creative drive to resurrect Breaking the Habit and Famous Last Words. It'd be nice to be able to post these fics and feel like I've done something with them, but as a reader I know it sucks when an author has a fic that's unfinished. I'll leave it up to you readers and if no one responds then I'll know not to bother with posting.

Comments

[mrsmisser.livejournal.com]

with breaking the habbit I never came to when Hyde met Gackt, I most have missed some chapters, or did you never post them???

Well I am not sure I am interrested in reading a fic I never will get an ending on...

[write_my_dreams]

Hyde meets Gackt after he leaves Sakura so the story on LJ never progressed to that part. And I don't think I wrote it... I can't remember. That fic was too frustrating to write so the majority remained in my head

I assumed that'd be the case but I basically wasted my time working on these fics then...

So you're a definite no about reading?

[mrsmisser.livejournal.com]

I don't think I understand, what you actually are going to post, is it fics or is it the next parts of the story, I am a little confused about it...

I am sorry, but I am one of those frustrated readers who hate when there is no ending lol, what is the point of reading it then, no offence...

You know I am more into realistic fics after all ^^...But you have Echoed Warnings , which was somekind of realistic, but another chapter never came to that either *SIGH*...

[write_my_dreams]

Parts of the story.

Lol I understand, I was in agony when I fic I read obsessively in one night ended up being unfinished. Hm... I disagree on that, it's nice to have an ending to know what happens but if the fic is good I bear with the lack of ending. I can always finish it in my head

I know you are and you know I don't enjoy writing them XD Eh, Echoed Warnings didn't work. I had fun with the first chapter but I started getting bored writing Chapter 2 and my inspiration fizzled out when I started writing more. I don't know why... I like ghost stories and it was fun to write L'Arc again but I just was so bored with that story.

[mrsmisser.livejournal.com]

I like to read what the author has in mind for the caracters, I don't have imagine enough to finish it in my head all the time lol, some fics needs an ending and some dosn't ^^

lol you get easy borred when writting you have many half done stories lol, I was looking so much forward to the next chapters of that story, because I didn't know where you were going with the story, so that was diffently one of those which needed an ending for my part ^^ ...

The one with Sakura and Hyde I didn't miss an ending so much, as with Echoed Warnings lol...

But I have to say no to read more, when it is not a finish product, and not something you are going to work on, sorry , but thank you for asking ^^

[write_my_dreams]

I do too but sometimes it isn't an option. Yeah, some fics need a proper ending and others can bear without

I have many ideas and inspiration tends to die when something better comes along. In the case of the fics in this entry, the ideas just didn't work out even though I would have liked to finish them :/ I really hate starting a multi-chapter and then not being able to finish it... I just feel bad doing that because as a reader I hate when an author can't finish fics. I didn't know where I was going with Echoed Warnings either. I rushed into it so kind of screwed myself over because I had a concept but no storyline. Maybe I'll bring it back someday, but I'm not sure. There's a Chapter 3 I forgot I started

All right. Thanks for answering and being honest! I wanted to know if I'd have any readers or not. I think I'll just email readers the files if they're interested :)

[mrsmisser.livejournal.com]

I now that feeling, when something better comes along you are getting tired of the old ^^ ...I hope you get the interest for Echoed Warnings someday ^^

and you are welcome ^^ it is not funny when people say they wanna read something, and then don't, so better just to be honest in the beginning ^^

[write_my_dreams]

Yes exactly. Maybe, but I would have to come up with a proper storyline and outline first before I could even consider writing more. And get back into L'Arc. There's no point in writing a fic for a band I rarely listen to anymore. Maybe if L'Arc ever gets together again I'll get back into them. We'll see.

I know, I hate when people say they'll read something and then they don't do it. It's so frustrating and makes me wonder why I bother posting. I agree completely.

Did you have a great time in Japan? I'd love to read your posts but I know I'll get depressed if I do

[mrsmisser.livejournal.com]

of course they will get back together, there is a new world tour scheduled, maybe next year or 2015, they haven't broken up, just on pause at the moment...but yes lets wait and see about the story ^^

I am getting frustrated as well, I had it like that with my Japan posts, so many told me that I should remember to make travel diary and so on so I could make posts when I get home, and now I do, and a very few is commenting, and it dosn't give me the motivation to do all 14 travel posts, when those who said would read it didn't...and that is why I stopped making the L'arc news as well, because no one commented, why keep up then...

I had a wonderful time in Japan, it was totally awsome...But I think that was my last time in Osaka and Tokyo, if I ever go again I want to try some other cities

[write_my_dreams]

I guess. I'm just skeptical of how active L'Arc will be... the comeback wasn't all that impressive since there weren't many updates, only 4 new songs, and just the tour. It's kind of disappointing. And I wouldn't even consider writing more of Echoed Warnings until I get more on my To Do List taken care of.

Ugh, that's how I felt with my posts! I'd make a live report or a travel report and I wouldn't get many responses even though people said they wanted to read. It's so frustrating. I don't blame you for stopping the travel posts and the L'Arc news. I agree, what's the point in putting the work into posting if you get nothing in return?

That's great :) I'm glad you had fun. I think that'd be good for you to see other cities. I'm looking to try a summer teaching job in Tokyo (I've never lived in a big city before so it'd be fun to try that, so many band activities go on in Tokyo, and Tokyo makes a great base for travel. I can take the night bus to other cities to explore more of Japan)

[mrsmisser.livejournal.com]

they had 2 tours when they were active through whole 2011 and half of 2012, and 4 new songs in 1½ a year, I think that is impressive lol, but that might only be me, and there was a tons of updates, they were on so many mags, and they appeared in so many shows lol...

I have just paused the travel reports at the moment, because I have started in a new internship, and I just don't have the energi at the moment...maybe I will write the next one doing the weekend...exactly what is the point...

Tokyo is an amazing city, but very exspensive compared to Osaka...but I love Tokyo, my oldest son lives there, and my big brother...I would really wanna try Okinawa lol

[write_my_dreams]

The 4 songs were the biggest disappointment to me. They finally do their come back but there was hardly anything new...

Probably best. Oh you have? How's that going? It's up to you

Yeah it is is. I wouldn't mind living in Osaka either... I guess I'd be happy with either! Oh really? That's nice. My dad lived in Okinawa before when he was in the US air force

[mrsmisser.livejournal.com]

I really loved the songs, so I think that is individual ^^...well the songs they released on butterfly wasn't released on one complete CD yet, so that is why ^^

Just started monday, but it is going really well and they are very nice to me, so I like beeing there so far ^^

I love Osaka ^^...that sounds awsome...

[write_my_dreams]

As I said, I won't be finishing them. I just wondered if anyone is interested in reading the snippets I have of them. Thank you, it was an interesting challenge to get in the head of a drug addict. I'd like to try writing something like that again someday but I won't do it as a fanfiction.

I'm happy to hear that! I started Chapter 5 of my novel a few days ago. Once I finish Chapter 6 I'm going to go back and do my edits, have my editor friend help me with the chapters, and then start posting. I'm setting October as the deadline for my posting. If you like, I can send you some D videos so you can get to know them more. Their songs are amazing and the members themselves are some of the sweetest, most adorable, talented musicians I've seen. They're quite warm and lovable and always make me smile. Seriously, one day, the slightest thing set me off crying and I put on the making of the 赤き羊による晩餐会 PV and it made me start smiling and giggling.

Thank you for your voting!

[annui.livejournal.com]

Sorry for taking so long in commenting, yesterday I wasn't feeling too good. Wanna reply in the night but ended up going to bed early.

Anyway, I didn't know majority of the fics will turn into sakura x hyde while you know me, always a crazy shipper of gackt x hyde XDD
I don't mind when Hyde involved with another person at the beginning, but he must ended up with Gackt. In my head. LOL. Yeah I'm that crazy and stubborn and you know it XDD;;

So after I read your description about how the fics will develop I don't know if I will be able to follow them if they were posted. I'm sorry Dee.. ♡

[write_my_dreams]

In that case it's best that you went to bed early then! Are you feeling better now?

Majority? Only one turned into Sakura x Hyde XD Gackt is with You in Breaking the Habit so he's never an option for Hyde. Lol I know you're always a mad shipper of them.
Oh gosh XD You really are.

I didn't think you'd read them because they aren't Gackt x Hyde centric but I thought I'd ask anyway. Thanks for being honest

Obv posting these will be a waste of time XD Bah, shouldn't have wasted so much time writing either fic.. but what can you do.

[senshi-of-ruin.livejournal.com]

I have loads like this too - even some finished ones that never saw the light of day lol! I would be interested in reading them if you decide to post them :D

[write_my_dreams]

Oh really? I've decided not to bother with posting... especially since I did take the trouble of private locking all of my Gackt-related fics. Why add more? If you want to read these then I can email you the files.

You'll have to wait on that though as I need to look over them and assemble a timeline for everything

[senshi-of-ruin.livejournal.com]

Yeah lol my Moon Child muses were very demanding ^^;;

That would be awesome! I'd love to read them sometime :D Thanks!

[write_my_dreams]

I guess so lol

All right, once I get the time I'll look them over and send them out

[senshi-of-ruin.livejournal.com]

Yay cool thanks! I can't wait :D

[a_deux_vitesses.livejournal.com]

One of the rare times I check lj, and I'm glad I saw your post. I would like to continue reading what you have for both stories :) I know I read some scenes already, but I'd like to read all of them. If you're not going to post them, email would be fine too. Unfinished fics are torture, especially when you see they haven't been updated in forever, but I think this is different because you're telling us right now that they won't be finished. I'll happily take what I can get XD Oh, and you posted Illusions of Control *_* So reading that at work tomorrow if I get the chance lol~

[write_my_dreams]

You should check LJ more often so it's at least somewhat active. All right, I'll just do email then. They really are... yeah that's true. Or I might end up making a community and posting the fics there. I definitely don't want them on my main journal as I'm trying to steer away from my old work. I'll decide...
I did. Awesome, leave me a comment when you do read!

[xblue-fishx.livejournal.com]

I'd like to read anything you have of Famous Last Words, honestly... I'm enchanted with the thoughts of it since I've seen you talking of it with others through your replies and what not. I feel creepy now, but yes! If I could read those selections, I'd be very pleased - even if it will never be finished. My imagination can make up the rest, I'm sure <<; XD

[write_my_dreams]

Oops, this entry was from August and I still haven't decided what to do with these fic scenes. Oh you are? I'm glad it interests you. Haha, don't worry about sounding creepy. I do the same thing. All right :)

I'll make this another project over break. I really do not want to post these fics to this particular journal because A) old B) fandoms I'm not in C) clutter so I'll probably end up making a community and posting the scenes there.

[xblue-fishx.livejournal.com]

That's cool XD I understand what its like to go through some of the older things you've done and go 'well, that won't fit here now'. Still, if you do go about posting them to a community, please let me know! I look forward to reading what you do have :3

Also, I will reply to the other replies later. I just got in from work, and I am so out of it <3

[write_my_dreams]

I'm so glad you understand! Some of my LJ watchers refused to believe that the fics I'd locked were bad --even though they are since they were from 2010-2012, cheesy, and my writing has advanced so much since then. I do have a community running now. Nothing posted in it yet but it's < amai_yume7 >

Take your time, I'll be busy over the next couple days

[xblue-fishx.livejournal.com]

I will check that out! And don't worry. I have a lot of my old stuff floating around on adultfanfiction, as well as fanfiction net itself.. I'm absolutely horrified when people still look at it in recent days and leave me good reviews. I'm like 'really? REALLY?' This is for stuff I wrote almost 10 years ago, in some cases... I'd like to think I've come a long way since then, too, but sometimes I don't feel as though I have half the ideas as I used to? I guess there will be sacrifices either way? Still, it is shocking when someone looks at something you did which horrifies you and they love it despite your personal 'oh god, why?' feelings XD It just goes to show we are our own worst critics.

I know the feeling. These days, I feel like I'm always busy.