Life or Death 2/5
Aug. 27th, 2013 11:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
write_my_dreamsTitle: Life or Death
Author: ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
write_my_dreams
write_my_dreamsPairing: Atsushi x Asagi
Genre: AU, historical, romance, angst
Warning/Disclaimer: Warning for illness and drama later in this fic. Asagi and Atsushi do not belong to me. The universe, the character portrayals, and the writing do though.
Rating: PG
Chapters: 2/5
Summary: Atsushi is struggling to adapt to the new technologies of the Meiji Period and often hides out in the countryside where little has changed for the last century. Out in the country, he meets Asagi: a young and beautiful, but sickly, human who quickly wins his heart. When Asagi falls ill with a fatal disease Atsushi must decide between saving Asagi's life by turning him into a vampire or keeping him human and letting him slip into death.
Author's Comment: And here is Chapter 2 at last. Ironically the weather outside is identical to the weather in this chapter.
Atsushi brushed the curtain back to look outside. It was still raining though the thunder had stopped. A thunderstorm had woken him and he hadn’t been able to fall asleep again. After tossing and turning for hours, he’d given up and decided to paint. He’d painted Asagi’s rose garden (which he could see from the window) and after finishing that, wondered if he should leave his room in order to find his lovely host and paint him… but Atsushi decided he would leave Asagi in peace. Asagi was probably busy with his servants or, as Atsushi preferred to think, resting in his room. Had his fever gone down yet? Atsushi didn’t know. Equally concerning was his worry for the other man. Already he cared more than he should for a man he’d only just met.
“You’re a vampire,” he whispered to himself. “You can’t afford to get attached to another human.”
Especially to a human who didn’t know that he was a vampire.
Atsushi glanced towards the doorway to his room then back out the window. It was best that he leave tonight, even though he didn’t relish the thought of leaving the warm and comfortable manor to travel in the rain. Asagi was a kind soul so he (Atsushi assumed) would invite him to stay another night. Tempting as it was to stay in the manor where he had a comfortable room, a roof over his head, and fresh blood available to him (Atsushi wasn’t proud of himself for drinking a maid’s blood) it was too dangerous. Atsushi knew his own nature quite well and knew that he would develop feelings for Asagi. That was why he had to leave. Atsushi would cherish the memories of his sweet host as he continued his journey in this strange, new world.
The sound of approaching footsteps caught his attention. Atsushi turned away from the window, recognizing Asagi’s scent before his host announced his presence.
“Atsushi? Forgive me if I am disturbing you but I wondered if you were awake…”
“I’ve been awake since the storm hit,” Atsushi replied. He braced himself for the inevitable offer to stay. He must refuse! The longer he stayed with a human, the greater the risk of his true nature being discovered.
“May I come in?”
Atsushi laughed softly. “Of course, this is your home.” He watched as Asagi slid the shoji open and stepped into the room. He wore a yukata in a similar style to the one he’d worn yesterday and his skin was still a little flushed. Did the fever still linger? Atsushi frowned again. Why was Asagi visiting him when he should be abed? Atsushi resisted the urge to throw his hands in the air in frustration. Humans! They were so infuriating whenever they refused to accept the limits of their fragile bodies. Yuuki had been the same… and it seemed that Asagi was also too stubborn to admit that he should rest. Why were humans such maddening creatures when it came to their health? Atsushi imagined he’d be ready to tear his hair out if he stayed with Asagi for much longer.
Atsushi kept his thoughts to himself as he politely bowed his head to his host. He brushed his hair back as he straightened. “How do you feel today?”
Asagi sighed. “My health remains poor as always but my fever has gone down.” He walked over to join Atsushi by the window, tucking his yukata beneath his legs so he could sit. The vampire cast him a quick glance. He did look a little healthier than he had last night. “Atsushi… I think it would be best if you stayed here another night. The rain doesn't seem to be letting up and if you leave tonight, it’ll make for a miserable journal. So you are more than welcome to stay with me another night.” Asagi tried to keep his voice level but his voice and eyes betrayed his eagerness. Asagi clearly wanted him to stay the night.
Refuse! Atsushi told himself. But… now that he looked at Asagi… he couldn’t help but think of how convenient it would be to stay. He wouldn’t have to travel in the rain, wouldn’t have to worry about finding shelter from the daylight.
And if he stayed he would surely fall for his host and suffer. He had to leave.
Atsushi opened his mouth to speak then shut it as he saw Asagi’s hopeful look. Damn it, how could he upset his charming host by refusing? “I would love to stay,” he replied, knowing that he was already doomed. “But only if it isn’t too inconvenient…”
Asagi’s face lit up. “No, it’s not inconvenient at all!”
Atsushi returned Asagi’s happy smile with a weak one. “Thank you. You are far too kind.” And he was far too soft for agreeing to stay despite the risks. “I suppose… it is better that I stay another night. I imagine this weather makes the roads around here difficult to travel.”
“Yes,” Asagi nodded. “The river may flood or you could fall ill from being soaked by the rain. But you’ll be safe here.”
Fall ill… fortunately Atsushi didn’t have to worry about that. Although the visual of a coughing vampire was quite amusing. He frowned as Asagi started to cough. “Should I get you some tea? I’m sure a hot drink would help soothe your cough…” he trailed off, biting his lip as Asagi continued to cough. The damp chill must be wreaking havoc on his already frail health.
Asagi took a shallow breath then rubbed his chest. “I’ll tell a maid to bring us tea.” He turned away. Atsushi watched him leaving the room, frowning as he heard him coughing again.
This kind, gentle human was so worrisome.
* * *
The rains continued for the next four days. Every afternoon, Asagi came to Atsushi’s room and look out the window commented on the state of the weather. Then he would turn to Atsushi, say it was too risky for him to travel, and insist he stay another night. And every time, Atsushi ignored the logical part of his brain and agreed. By now he’d been here for almost a week and was reluctant to leave. It was so… comfortable here. Asagi was warm and hospitable, the servants were kind to him since he made their master smile, and Asagi’s beloved cat Minya had even come to visit him while he painted. The cat had curled up in his lap and purred for him. Atsushi could have sworn his heart melted at the sound. It’d been too long since he’d last been able to spend time with an animal like this. And he’d always had a soft spot for cats.
“Atsushi?” Asagi called his name, catching his attention.
“Yes?” Atsushi turned from the window to see his host standing in the doorway. In his hands was a tray with two teacups and a teapot. Judging from the scent, the servants had prepared green tea for them.
“I thought I’d bring you some tea.”
Atsushi rose, moving over to the small table and seating himself in front of it. “I appreciate your kindness but there is no need for the host to attend to my needs. Especially since you are so often ill…” he trailed off as Asagi frowned at him. The young human sniffed as if offended then joined him at the table, setting the tray down first before taking a seat across from Atsushi.
“My health is poor, yes, but I do not need to be confined to my bed chamber like a helpless invalid. A doctor has suggested I try this before and it does little for my health. It only makes me sad…” Asagi sighed, glancing at the window then back at Atsushi. “It’s still raining.”
“Yes,” Atsushi said softly, raising the tea and taking a sip. Ah yes, it was green tea. He glanced up as he felt Asagi watching him. Maybe he should break the ritual and ask Asagi’s permission to stay the night. He already knew it would be granted… Asagi clearly enjoyed his company. Why, Atsushi wasn’t positive about that, but Asagi was a lonely man and Atsushi was someone new and interesting with stories of a world Asagi was unlikely to see and various paintings he’d done along the way. He smiled behind his tea as he heard Asagi’s soft intake of breath. The request was coming… he knew it.
“Atsushi…” Asagi hesitated, brushing his hair back behind his ear. “It has rained every day since you arrived at my manor. Every day it rains, I ask you to stay one more night in my manor. And with each morning I fear that the sun will come out and you will decide to leave. I… I wish the rains would last the whole month so you will agree to stay with me for longer.” Asagi clutched his yukata sleeves tightly, biting his lip before continuing. “It’s not yet been a week since you arrived but I truly enjoy your company and you seem to be happy here. So I… I…” Asagi shut his eyes and continued, heart beating loudly. “I open my home to you, Atsushi. I would love if you stayed… but it’s your decision. If you do decide to stay, then you may live here with me for as long as you desire.”
Those were not the words that Atsushi had expected to hear. He stared at Asagi, wide-eyed, as he considered the dangerous request. The man across from him was nothing but temptation. Atsushi knew his heart would break if he stayed here. He loved Yuuki still… a part of him always would… but he knew he would fall in love with this fragile, beautiful man who had been nothing but kind to him ever since they met. And Asagi would either die from one of his many illnesses or Atsushi would stop his heart and turn him like he’d done with Yuuki in order to save him. He was setting himself up for pain with either option.
“I…” Atsushi swallowed. Slowly he set the tea down then leaned over to take Asagi’s warm hand. His host’s eyes flew open and he looked at Atsushi, insecurity written all over that beautiful face. Atsushi gave him a faint smile. “I will stay so long as I’m welcome.”
Part of him knew this was a mistake. He was setting himself up for heartbreak, the risk that Asagi would find out that his new companion wasn’t human, but the lonely part of him ignored his more logical side.
As he watched Asagi’s face light up in a heart-warming smile, Atsushi didn’t see how this could possibly be the wrong choice. If him staying made lonely Asagi glow with happiness, then Atsushi knew he’d chosen right.
“I’ll tell the servants that you’ll be staying with us.” Asagi laid his free hand over Atsushi’s, still beaming. “Once the rains stop I’ll send them into town to purchase more painting supplies for you… I don’t want you to run out.”
“Thank you.” Atsushi smiled faintly then pulled his hands back so Asagi could leave and tell his servants. He watched Asagi go then looked out the window again. Without Asagi there, it was easier to think with a clear head. Staying… opened him up for heartbreak. As he already knew. But what would he gain if he left? Nothing. He’d been lonely before he met Asagi. At least if he stayed, he could keep Asagi company. Watch over him, try to keep him healthy and insist that he rest more. Asagi clearly wouldn’t listen to his servants and his doctor so someone had to take charge of his health. That someone had to be Atsushi.
It was best that he stay.
Notes
1) Atsushi is realizing that he can't say no to Asagi.
2) My university classes are starting up again tomorrow (gag) so I don't know how much writing time I'll have. It helps me with my stress so I'll make sure I do have writing time... but I can't promise super fast updates. I'm going to try my best to be quicker with updating this fic though. I'll finish up my outline and try to get Chapter 3 started over the weekend.
3) Thank you for your patience!
“You’re a vampire,” he whispered to himself. “You can’t afford to get attached to another human.”
Especially to a human who didn’t know that he was a vampire.
Atsushi glanced towards the doorway to his room then back out the window. It was best that he leave tonight, even though he didn’t relish the thought of leaving the warm and comfortable manor to travel in the rain. Asagi was a kind soul so he (Atsushi assumed) would invite him to stay another night. Tempting as it was to stay in the manor where he had a comfortable room, a roof over his head, and fresh blood available to him (Atsushi wasn’t proud of himself for drinking a maid’s blood) it was too dangerous. Atsushi knew his own nature quite well and knew that he would develop feelings for Asagi. That was why he had to leave. Atsushi would cherish the memories of his sweet host as he continued his journey in this strange, new world.
The sound of approaching footsteps caught his attention. Atsushi turned away from the window, recognizing Asagi’s scent before his host announced his presence.
“Atsushi? Forgive me if I am disturbing you but I wondered if you were awake…”
“I’ve been awake since the storm hit,” Atsushi replied. He braced himself for the inevitable offer to stay. He must refuse! The longer he stayed with a human, the greater the risk of his true nature being discovered.
“May I come in?”
Atsushi laughed softly. “Of course, this is your home.” He watched as Asagi slid the shoji open and stepped into the room. He wore a yukata in a similar style to the one he’d worn yesterday and his skin was still a little flushed. Did the fever still linger? Atsushi frowned again. Why was Asagi visiting him when he should be abed? Atsushi resisted the urge to throw his hands in the air in frustration. Humans! They were so infuriating whenever they refused to accept the limits of their fragile bodies. Yuuki had been the same… and it seemed that Asagi was also too stubborn to admit that he should rest. Why were humans such maddening creatures when it came to their health? Atsushi imagined he’d be ready to tear his hair out if he stayed with Asagi for much longer.
Atsushi kept his thoughts to himself as he politely bowed his head to his host. He brushed his hair back as he straightened. “How do you feel today?”
Asagi sighed. “My health remains poor as always but my fever has gone down.” He walked over to join Atsushi by the window, tucking his yukata beneath his legs so he could sit. The vampire cast him a quick glance. He did look a little healthier than he had last night. “Atsushi… I think it would be best if you stayed here another night. The rain doesn't seem to be letting up and if you leave tonight, it’ll make for a miserable journal. So you are more than welcome to stay with me another night.” Asagi tried to keep his voice level but his voice and eyes betrayed his eagerness. Asagi clearly wanted him to stay the night.
Refuse! Atsushi told himself. But… now that he looked at Asagi… he couldn’t help but think of how convenient it would be to stay. He wouldn’t have to travel in the rain, wouldn’t have to worry about finding shelter from the daylight.
And if he stayed he would surely fall for his host and suffer. He had to leave.
Atsushi opened his mouth to speak then shut it as he saw Asagi’s hopeful look. Damn it, how could he upset his charming host by refusing? “I would love to stay,” he replied, knowing that he was already doomed. “But only if it isn’t too inconvenient…”
Asagi’s face lit up. “No, it’s not inconvenient at all!”
Atsushi returned Asagi’s happy smile with a weak one. “Thank you. You are far too kind.” And he was far too soft for agreeing to stay despite the risks. “I suppose… it is better that I stay another night. I imagine this weather makes the roads around here difficult to travel.”
“Yes,” Asagi nodded. “The river may flood or you could fall ill from being soaked by the rain. But you’ll be safe here.”
Fall ill… fortunately Atsushi didn’t have to worry about that. Although the visual of a coughing vampire was quite amusing. He frowned as Asagi started to cough. “Should I get you some tea? I’m sure a hot drink would help soothe your cough…” he trailed off, biting his lip as Asagi continued to cough. The damp chill must be wreaking havoc on his already frail health.
Asagi took a shallow breath then rubbed his chest. “I’ll tell a maid to bring us tea.” He turned away. Atsushi watched him leaving the room, frowning as he heard him coughing again.
This kind, gentle human was so worrisome.
* * *
The rains continued for the next four days. Every afternoon, Asagi came to Atsushi’s room and look out the window commented on the state of the weather. Then he would turn to Atsushi, say it was too risky for him to travel, and insist he stay another night. And every time, Atsushi ignored the logical part of his brain and agreed. By now he’d been here for almost a week and was reluctant to leave. It was so… comfortable here. Asagi was warm and hospitable, the servants were kind to him since he made their master smile, and Asagi’s beloved cat Minya had even come to visit him while he painted. The cat had curled up in his lap and purred for him. Atsushi could have sworn his heart melted at the sound. It’d been too long since he’d last been able to spend time with an animal like this. And he’d always had a soft spot for cats.
“Atsushi?” Asagi called his name, catching his attention.
“Yes?” Atsushi turned from the window to see his host standing in the doorway. In his hands was a tray with two teacups and a teapot. Judging from the scent, the servants had prepared green tea for them.
“I thought I’d bring you some tea.”
Atsushi rose, moving over to the small table and seating himself in front of it. “I appreciate your kindness but there is no need for the host to attend to my needs. Especially since you are so often ill…” he trailed off as Asagi frowned at him. The young human sniffed as if offended then joined him at the table, setting the tray down first before taking a seat across from Atsushi.
“My health is poor, yes, but I do not need to be confined to my bed chamber like a helpless invalid. A doctor has suggested I try this before and it does little for my health. It only makes me sad…” Asagi sighed, glancing at the window then back at Atsushi. “It’s still raining.”
“Yes,” Atsushi said softly, raising the tea and taking a sip. Ah yes, it was green tea. He glanced up as he felt Asagi watching him. Maybe he should break the ritual and ask Asagi’s permission to stay the night. He already knew it would be granted… Asagi clearly enjoyed his company. Why, Atsushi wasn’t positive about that, but Asagi was a lonely man and Atsushi was someone new and interesting with stories of a world Asagi was unlikely to see and various paintings he’d done along the way. He smiled behind his tea as he heard Asagi’s soft intake of breath. The request was coming… he knew it.
“Atsushi…” Asagi hesitated, brushing his hair back behind his ear. “It has rained every day since you arrived at my manor. Every day it rains, I ask you to stay one more night in my manor. And with each morning I fear that the sun will come out and you will decide to leave. I… I wish the rains would last the whole month so you will agree to stay with me for longer.” Asagi clutched his yukata sleeves tightly, biting his lip before continuing. “It’s not yet been a week since you arrived but I truly enjoy your company and you seem to be happy here. So I… I…” Asagi shut his eyes and continued, heart beating loudly. “I open my home to you, Atsushi. I would love if you stayed… but it’s your decision. If you do decide to stay, then you may live here with me for as long as you desire.”
Those were not the words that Atsushi had expected to hear. He stared at Asagi, wide-eyed, as he considered the dangerous request. The man across from him was nothing but temptation. Atsushi knew his heart would break if he stayed here. He loved Yuuki still… a part of him always would… but he knew he would fall in love with this fragile, beautiful man who had been nothing but kind to him ever since they met. And Asagi would either die from one of his many illnesses or Atsushi would stop his heart and turn him like he’d done with Yuuki in order to save him. He was setting himself up for pain with either option.
“I…” Atsushi swallowed. Slowly he set the tea down then leaned over to take Asagi’s warm hand. His host’s eyes flew open and he looked at Atsushi, insecurity written all over that beautiful face. Atsushi gave him a faint smile. “I will stay so long as I’m welcome.”
Part of him knew this was a mistake. He was setting himself up for heartbreak, the risk that Asagi would find out that his new companion wasn’t human, but the lonely part of him ignored his more logical side.
As he watched Asagi’s face light up in a heart-warming smile, Atsushi didn’t see how this could possibly be the wrong choice. If him staying made lonely Asagi glow with happiness, then Atsushi knew he’d chosen right.
“I’ll tell the servants that you’ll be staying with us.” Asagi laid his free hand over Atsushi’s, still beaming. “Once the rains stop I’ll send them into town to purchase more painting supplies for you… I don’t want you to run out.”
“Thank you.” Atsushi smiled faintly then pulled his hands back so Asagi could leave and tell his servants. He watched Asagi go then looked out the window again. Without Asagi there, it was easier to think with a clear head. Staying… opened him up for heartbreak. As he already knew. But what would he gain if he left? Nothing. He’d been lonely before he met Asagi. At least if he stayed, he could keep Asagi company. Watch over him, try to keep him healthy and insist that he rest more. Asagi clearly wouldn’t listen to his servants and his doctor so someone had to take charge of his health. That someone had to be Atsushi.
It was best that he stay.
Notes
1) Atsushi is realizing that he can't say no to Asagi.
2) My university classes are starting up again tomorrow (gag) so I don't know how much writing time I'll have. It helps me with my stress so I'll make sure I do have writing time... but I can't promise super fast updates. I'm going to try my best to be quicker with updating this fic though. I'll finish up my outline and try to get Chapter 3 started over the weekend.
3) Thank you for your patience!
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Date: 2013-09-04 12:01 am (UTC)I might be able to get it started this week
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