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write_my_dreamsTitle: Triggers
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
write_my_dreams
Pairing: Asagi x Jui
Genre: AU, drama, romance, some angst
Warning/Disclaimer: Fic is posted as is, not much editing done. No warning in terms of content. Asagi and Jui (plus Ruiza and Kisaki) do not belong to me. Their characterizations, the storyline, and the writing are all mine though.
Rating: PG
Chapter(s): 1/1
Summary: Jui's adjusting to dating again but his date with Asagi is disrupted as an affectionate gesture triggers memories of Jui's human life.
Author's Comment: Jui's been nagging at me to write him with Asagi again. My emotional state has been.. pretty bad lately so writing the rather broken Jui is appealing to me. The idea for this came to me earlier and I had to write it! I have ideas for a sequel to this. I think I'll just put all of the Asagi x Jui fics in their own miniseries like with Lover's Blood. I just need a proper title for it now.
It’d been a little over two weeks since the awkward night of the Halloween Party. After spending the weekend with Asagi, Jui had gone back to his apartment to be alone. To think about everything. Telling Asagi he wanted to try dating him hadn’t been difficult while he was clasped in the other’s arms. When he was alone, though, the anxiety had returned. Jui had to keep reminding himself that he was no longer a fragile human. He was a vampire. He was strong enough to protect himself if another lover went mad with jealously and threatened his life. The thought had sent chills down his spine.
Despite his concerns, he’d met Asagi the next night to get a drink with him. They’d met up every so often over the last two weeks. Jui was still insecure about a new relationship, but Asagi was gentle with him. He was patient, understanding of his past, and never tried to push Jui into doing something he was uncomfortable with. Like sex. Jui wasn’t ready for intimacy of that level… especially since vampires tended to lose control and try to bite or kiss his neck. Jui was probably the only vampire in the world who hated having his neck touched. He tolerated Kisaki touching his neck because Kisaki was his ex-lover. Someone he could trust. Others though… Jui wasn’t comfortable enough with them to allow them to touch his neck. The insecure part of him worried about what would happen if Asagi tried kissing his neck, but the other vampire had yet to try. He seemed perfectly content with taking things slow. Aside from the occasional kiss, the extent of their physical contact was holding Jui’s hand or cuddling on the couch. Jui didn’t believe in perfect people or relationships, but Asagi was close to that impossible perfection. He was so sweet. Whenever they were together, Jui understood why Kisaki and Ruiza had pushed the two of them together. The other couple had known that Asagi and Jui would make a good match.
And they were. Despite his worries, Jui felt comfortable around Asagi. That didn’t mean his problems had vanished. He worried about them and sometimes felt guilty about the past preventing him from moving on. What could he do though? The trauma of being murdered by his possessive boyfriend made it difficult to become truly comfortable in a relationship with a man he was still getting to know. But he was trying to be more relaxed. It’d only been two weeks, but Jui really liked Asagi already.
He wanted this to work.
* * *
Jui raised hesitant hands to tangle his fingers in Asagi’s silky hair as the other vampire kissed him. He’d lost track of time (something that happened often when he was with Asagi). As dawn was approaching, he’d accepted Asagi’s offer (more of an insistence) that he stay the day with him.
They’d gone from the window to the bed. Asagi had turned on his side and pulled Jui into his arms. Jui liked sleeping like this… with his head above Asagi’s shoulder on his pillow. He’d usually wake up to Asagi still holding him and with his face buried in Jui’s hair. Given the hour, Jui thought they were going to bed to sleep. Until Asagi leaned in to kiss him.
Jui pressed Asagi a little closer, annoyed sound muffled by the kiss as the black-haired vampire’s long bangs tickled his cheek. He’d never dated someone with hair this long before. It felt a little strange to have that hair tickling his skin. He swiped Asagi’s bangs behind his ear, smiling at the other’s soft chuckle.
“Does my hair bother you?”
“It tickles.”
Asagi kissed Jui’s forehead. “I like long hair though… I feel like it suits me more than short hair does.”
“It looks good on you.” Jui toyed with the ends of Asagi’s long hair. “When was the last time you cut it short?”
Asagi looked thoughtful. “Maybe five years ago? I need a change.”
Jui nodded. He tended to keep his hair above his shoulders and usually a shade of blonde. He could understand wanting a change though. He liked that he could talk to Asagi about anything, but he hadn’t come over to talk about hair. Asagi seemed to have read his mind since he kissed Jui again.
Suddenly, he pulled back. Asagi framed Jui’s face with his hands and gave him a serious look. “Tell me to stop if I make you uncomfortable.”
Jui nodded. “I will,” he promised, giving Asagi a faint smile. Truly, he was lucky to have someone like Asagi in his life. He pulled Asagi back into a kiss. Until meeting Asagi, Jui hadn’t realized how much he missed simple romantic things like this. A kiss, falling asleep in a lover’s arms… He made a surprise noise as Asagi gently pushed him forward, rolling Jui onto his back and moving on top of him. If his heart could beat it would probably be racing by now. Jui shifted slightly so he and Asagi could get more comfortable. This was going further than he’d gone before but he trusted Asagi not to go too far. Again he had to brush Asagi’s hair back as it fell onto his face.
“Maybe I…” Asagi kissed his cheek. “Should pull my hair back so it doesn’t bother you.”
Jui laughed softly. “Maybe. It’s fine though.”
“Mm…” Asagi kissed down to Jui’s jaw. The blonde tensed as Asagi tipped his head back so he could trail kisses down his neck. He playfully scraped his fangs against Jui’s throat.
“Asagi!” Jui slammed his hands into the black-haired vampire’s chest and pushed him back. He scrambled to sit up, scooting back and holding his hand against his neck. Fangs brushing his throat always sent chills down his spine and brought back horrible memories of his former lover.
His outburst had clearly startled Asagi. “Jui?” Hesitantly, he reached out to touch the hand not on his neck. “I’m sorry… your neck...” he trailed off.
Jui shuddered as he took a deep breath. “I… I don’t like having my neck touched. It makes me think of having my throat slit. And feeling fangs on my neck…” he shook his head violently. He couldn’t handle it. Kisaki had always been careful to avoid Jui’s neck so he wouldn’t trigger memories.
Asagi gently took both of Jui’s hands, clasping them tightly. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking worried. “I… I wouldn’t have guessed. I’ve never… met a vampire that didn’t like having his neck touched. I’ve always loved it even as a human.”
Jui swallowed. He always felt like such a freak with his anxiety about his neck. And now he’d completely ruined the mood. “I should have told you.”
Asagi released his hands then moved to sit next to Jui, wrapping his arm round the blonde’s small shoulders. “Well, I know now.” He kissed Jui’s hair. “Is there anything else I should avoid?”
Jui sighed in relief. Asagi understood… this didn’t have to become awkward. “It’s really just my neck.”
“Okay.” Asagi gently turned his face so Jui was looking at him. “I want you to tell me about anything else that triggers memories. I want you to be happy… and I don’t want to be the cause of misery.”
Jui smiled weakly. “I promise I will.”
Asagi nodded then turned to look at the clock. “Maybe we should get some sleep.” He let go of Jui so he could lie down. The romantic mood was clearly dead… which Jui felt guilty about. He’d have to start something up either later or when they woke up. He lay down next to Asagi and snuggled closer to him, absently trailing his fingers up his sides.
“Asagi, I’m s-” he started to apologize for being such a wreck, but Asagi gently stopped him with a finger to his lips.
“Don’t apologize. You have horrors in your past that I don’t have.” Asagi smiled faintly. “You see how worried I get when I see people coughing.”
That was true. “What’s more worrisome is when you start wheezing in your sleep.” Jui had been so alarmed the first time he heard that. And then Asagi had sounded like he was hyperventilating. Jui had quickly shaken him awake, learning that Asagi had dreamt about the disease at the end of his human life. Poor Asagi. Jui wasn’t sure if a death like his was worse than a lasting death that slowly robbed someone of their strength and health with the passing days.
Asagi sighed. “Tuberculosis is a disease I wouldn’t wish on anyone.” He pulled Jui closer then buried his face in his hair. “Let’s get some sleep. We should go out if the weather is nice tomorrow.”
Jui wrapped his arms around him. “I’d like that.”
Author:
write_my_dreamsPairing: Asagi x Jui
Genre: AU, drama, romance, some angst
Warning/Disclaimer: Fic is posted as is, not much editing done. No warning in terms of content. Asagi and Jui (plus Ruiza and Kisaki) do not belong to me. Their characterizations, the storyline, and the writing are all mine though.
Rating: PG
Chapter(s): 1/1
Summary: Jui's adjusting to dating again but his date with Asagi is disrupted as an affectionate gesture triggers memories of Jui's human life.
Author's Comment: Jui's been nagging at me to write him with Asagi again. My emotional state has been.. pretty bad lately so writing the rather broken Jui is appealing to me. The idea for this came to me earlier and I had to write it! I have ideas for a sequel to this. I think I'll just put all of the Asagi x Jui fics in their own miniseries like with Lover's Blood. I just need a proper title for it now.
It’d been a little over two weeks since the awkward night of the Halloween Party. After spending the weekend with Asagi, Jui had gone back to his apartment to be alone. To think about everything. Telling Asagi he wanted to try dating him hadn’t been difficult while he was clasped in the other’s arms. When he was alone, though, the anxiety had returned. Jui had to keep reminding himself that he was no longer a fragile human. He was a vampire. He was strong enough to protect himself if another lover went mad with jealously and threatened his life. The thought had sent chills down his spine.
Despite his concerns, he’d met Asagi the next night to get a drink with him. They’d met up every so often over the last two weeks. Jui was still insecure about a new relationship, but Asagi was gentle with him. He was patient, understanding of his past, and never tried to push Jui into doing something he was uncomfortable with. Like sex. Jui wasn’t ready for intimacy of that level… especially since vampires tended to lose control and try to bite or kiss his neck. Jui was probably the only vampire in the world who hated having his neck touched. He tolerated Kisaki touching his neck because Kisaki was his ex-lover. Someone he could trust. Others though… Jui wasn’t comfortable enough with them to allow them to touch his neck. The insecure part of him worried about what would happen if Asagi tried kissing his neck, but the other vampire had yet to try. He seemed perfectly content with taking things slow. Aside from the occasional kiss, the extent of their physical contact was holding Jui’s hand or cuddling on the couch. Jui didn’t believe in perfect people or relationships, but Asagi was close to that impossible perfection. He was so sweet. Whenever they were together, Jui understood why Kisaki and Ruiza had pushed the two of them together. The other couple had known that Asagi and Jui would make a good match.
And they were. Despite his worries, Jui felt comfortable around Asagi. That didn’t mean his problems had vanished. He worried about them and sometimes felt guilty about the past preventing him from moving on. What could he do though? The trauma of being murdered by his possessive boyfriend made it difficult to become truly comfortable in a relationship with a man he was still getting to know. But he was trying to be more relaxed. It’d only been two weeks, but Jui really liked Asagi already.
He wanted this to work.
* * *
Jui raised hesitant hands to tangle his fingers in Asagi’s silky hair as the other vampire kissed him. He’d lost track of time (something that happened often when he was with Asagi). As dawn was approaching, he’d accepted Asagi’s offer (more of an insistence) that he stay the day with him.
They’d gone from the window to the bed. Asagi had turned on his side and pulled Jui into his arms. Jui liked sleeping like this… with his head above Asagi’s shoulder on his pillow. He’d usually wake up to Asagi still holding him and with his face buried in Jui’s hair. Given the hour, Jui thought they were going to bed to sleep. Until Asagi leaned in to kiss him.
Jui pressed Asagi a little closer, annoyed sound muffled by the kiss as the black-haired vampire’s long bangs tickled his cheek. He’d never dated someone with hair this long before. It felt a little strange to have that hair tickling his skin. He swiped Asagi’s bangs behind his ear, smiling at the other’s soft chuckle.
“Does my hair bother you?”
“It tickles.”
Asagi kissed Jui’s forehead. “I like long hair though… I feel like it suits me more than short hair does.”
“It looks good on you.” Jui toyed with the ends of Asagi’s long hair. “When was the last time you cut it short?”
Asagi looked thoughtful. “Maybe five years ago? I need a change.”
Jui nodded. He tended to keep his hair above his shoulders and usually a shade of blonde. He could understand wanting a change though. He liked that he could talk to Asagi about anything, but he hadn’t come over to talk about hair. Asagi seemed to have read his mind since he kissed Jui again.
Suddenly, he pulled back. Asagi framed Jui’s face with his hands and gave him a serious look. “Tell me to stop if I make you uncomfortable.”
Jui nodded. “I will,” he promised, giving Asagi a faint smile. Truly, he was lucky to have someone like Asagi in his life. He pulled Asagi back into a kiss. Until meeting Asagi, Jui hadn’t realized how much he missed simple romantic things like this. A kiss, falling asleep in a lover’s arms… He made a surprise noise as Asagi gently pushed him forward, rolling Jui onto his back and moving on top of him. If his heart could beat it would probably be racing by now. Jui shifted slightly so he and Asagi could get more comfortable. This was going further than he’d gone before but he trusted Asagi not to go too far. Again he had to brush Asagi’s hair back as it fell onto his face.
“Maybe I…” Asagi kissed his cheek. “Should pull my hair back so it doesn’t bother you.”
Jui laughed softly. “Maybe. It’s fine though.”
“Mm…” Asagi kissed down to Jui’s jaw. The blonde tensed as Asagi tipped his head back so he could trail kisses down his neck. He playfully scraped his fangs against Jui’s throat.
“Asagi!” Jui slammed his hands into the black-haired vampire’s chest and pushed him back. He scrambled to sit up, scooting back and holding his hand against his neck. Fangs brushing his throat always sent chills down his spine and brought back horrible memories of his former lover.
His outburst had clearly startled Asagi. “Jui?” Hesitantly, he reached out to touch the hand not on his neck. “I’m sorry… your neck...” he trailed off.
Jui shuddered as he took a deep breath. “I… I don’t like having my neck touched. It makes me think of having my throat slit. And feeling fangs on my neck…” he shook his head violently. He couldn’t handle it. Kisaki had always been careful to avoid Jui’s neck so he wouldn’t trigger memories.
Asagi gently took both of Jui’s hands, clasping them tightly. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking worried. “I… I wouldn’t have guessed. I’ve never… met a vampire that didn’t like having his neck touched. I’ve always loved it even as a human.”
Jui swallowed. He always felt like such a freak with his anxiety about his neck. And now he’d completely ruined the mood. “I should have told you.”
Asagi released his hands then moved to sit next to Jui, wrapping his arm round the blonde’s small shoulders. “Well, I know now.” He kissed Jui’s hair. “Is there anything else I should avoid?”
Jui sighed in relief. Asagi understood… this didn’t have to become awkward. “It’s really just my neck.”
“Okay.” Asagi gently turned his face so Jui was looking at him. “I want you to tell me about anything else that triggers memories. I want you to be happy… and I don’t want to be the cause of misery.”
Jui smiled weakly. “I promise I will.”
Asagi nodded then turned to look at the clock. “Maybe we should get some sleep.” He let go of Jui so he could lie down. The romantic mood was clearly dead… which Jui felt guilty about. He’d have to start something up either later or when they woke up. He lay down next to Asagi and snuggled closer to him, absently trailing his fingers up his sides.
“Asagi, I’m s-” he started to apologize for being such a wreck, but Asagi gently stopped him with a finger to his lips.
“Don’t apologize. You have horrors in your past that I don’t have.” Asagi smiled faintly. “You see how worried I get when I see people coughing.”
That was true. “What’s more worrisome is when you start wheezing in your sleep.” Jui had been so alarmed the first time he heard that. And then Asagi had sounded like he was hyperventilating. Jui had quickly shaken him awake, learning that Asagi had dreamt about the disease at the end of his human life. Poor Asagi. Jui wasn’t sure if a death like his was worse than a lasting death that slowly robbed someone of their strength and health with the passing days.
Asagi sighed. “Tuberculosis is a disease I wouldn’t wish on anyone.” He pulled Jui closer then buried his face in his hair. “Let’s get some sleep. We should go out if the weather is nice tomorrow.”
Jui wrapped his arms around him. “I’d like that.”
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-09-08 12:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-08 09:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-08 09:05 pm (UTC)Alas, such a lover can probably be found only in fiction. But who knows.
no subject
Date: 2013-09-08 02:31 pm (UTC)And Tsune era of course!
Will there be anything on Asagi and Ruiza?
no subject
Date: 2013-09-08 09:07 pm (UTC)Tsune era is my favorite
There will be. After Life or Death I'll have a couple chapters on Asagi and Atsushi and then the Asagi x Ruiza part starts after that. So there will be scenes of them, it's just a matter of when I get to them.
no subject
Date: 2013-09-09 10:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-09 06:15 pm (UTC)The next part though, is Asagi meeting Ruiza. And how he becomes a vampire
It might be a while... but we'll see
no subject
Date: 2013-09-08 09:23 pm (UTC)I can even picture every detail in my mind.
Even their voices :)
no subject
Date: 2013-09-09 12:45 am (UTC)Aw, really?
How sweet <3 I always struggle with picturing their voices for some reason
no subject
Date: 2013-09-09 12:10 am (UTC)It feels a lot more real with Jui having to readjust and not just jumping back into intimacy, and it's a nice idea having a vampire being afraid, or uncomfortable with their neck :3
Great read ^o^
no subject
Date: 2013-09-09 12:47 am (UTC)Vidoll is a really good band and I love Jui's voice. Gotcharocka is... okay. I bought their album to support Jui and I've listened a few times, but I always end up going back to Jui's solo album or Vidoll because I just like the music better. But I adore Jui himself.
Jui struggles with intimacy so it's hard for him to commit to a new relationship. I liked the part with Jui being uncomfortable about having his neck touched. It's rare for vampires and so that makes him different.
For a long time, I was wary of writing vampires because the genre is over saturated with bad vampire literature...
Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2013-09-09 09:59 am (UTC)Yeah, I should listen to more of Vidoll. I really liked what I heard. I never got to Jui's solo stuff though. I'll have to give it a listen.
Ahaha, so true. Vampire stories can very easily slip into the cheese category :p You're doing a good job though! I wish I could focus my thoughts a bit better and write some of these multi-verse and multi-chapter fics like you're writing~
no subject
Date: 2013-09-09 06:18 pm (UTC)I love Vidoll's songs and I keep trying to get into Gotcharocka but... eh. Some songs are okay. But there's an abuse of autotune that just makes me cringe. Jui has such a beautiful voice he doesn't need that garbage. His solo stuff is really pretty.
Oh they can, I've seen it. Thank you. Haha oh god no. I have way too many ideas and not enough time to write them all. But I do like the multi-verse of the vampire story. It's fun to write in different time periods and different parts of Asagi's life to see how he grows as a character throughout his history.
Asagi's being a brat and trying to get me to write him in his Huang Di mafia boss look. With Tsune as his sexy secretary
no subject
Date: 2013-09-09 04:29 am (UTC)So sweet and real. And very well written. I like the image of them cuddling and stroking each others' hair and of Asagi's long tresses tickling and falling into Jui's face. Jui should braid it for him :)
Such a sweet and cute couple <3
no subject
Date: 2013-09-09 06:22 pm (UTC)Thank you. Isn't it a cute visual? Haha, I don't know if Asagi would be overly happy about that...
no subject
Date: 2013-09-09 03:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-09 06:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-13 05:09 pm (UTC)