write_my_dreams | A Soldier's Dream: 3/12

Title: A Soldier's Dream
Author:

write_my_dreams
Pairing: Gackt x Hyde (Dream only: past ? x Hyde)
Genre: AU
Warning/Disclaimer: Nothing to warn about. All people portrayed in this fic own themselves, all I own is the idea.
Rating: PG-13
Chapters: 3/12
Summary: After guest starring for VAMPS on Halloween, the costumes Gackt and Hyde wore haunt Gackt in his sleep and inspire a vivid dream.
Author's Comment: This chapter was pretty easy to write, but editing and posting was delayed by schoolwork. A Soldier's Dream will be 9 chapters long plus an epilogue, so I'm counting that epilogue as a 10th chapter.

“Gackt, wait!”

Gackt turned around as he heard Jun-ji calling his name. They had a rare free day and had taken advantage of this to go into town. Normally Gackt would go with You, but as You was still in the hospital he’d gone with Jun-ji instead. They’d parted ways in town when Jun-ji had wanted to go to the bar and spend his afternoon there. Gackt usually went drinking when he came into town, but he hadn’t been in the mood for alcohol today. Instead he’d bought flowers and incense to light at Hyde’s neglected grave.

“What for? I thought you’d be at the bar for a while longer.”

Jun-ji shook his head. “I changed my mind.” He cast the bouquet of roses that Gackt held an envious look. “How did you find time to meet a new girl already?” Jun-ji had always had a hard time finding girls, and Gackt had no trouble at all. Women loved his good looks and his charming smile.

“I didn’t.”

“Then who are the flowers for? I don’t think You is interested in receiving roses as a get well soon gift.”

Gackt laughed as he imagined You’s reaction to receiving roses. “These aren’t for You, Jun-ji. They’re for a grave I found. No one has been there for years and I wanted to leave flowers by her grave and light some incense.”

“Oh.” Jun-ji looked disappointed. “I hoped your new girl would have a sister.”

Gackt didn’t point out that any sister Hyde had was probably dead. “I’m sure you’ll find someone eventually. Are you going back to base?”

“No, I think I’ll stay here a little longer. Where’s this grave you found?”

“It’s in the forest, so there’s no sense in waiting here for me.”

Jun-ji frowned. “I wonder why she wasn’t buried in the town cemetery.”

Gackt shrugged. “I don’t know.” That was one of the questions he intended to ask Hyde when he returned to her gravesite.

“All right. Be careful out there.”

“I will. Don’t drink too much.”

Jun-ji laughed. “I won’t.”

Gackt raised a hand in farewell and set out for Hyde’s grave. It was harder to find today since he was coming from town, but he managed to find the clearing at last. Hyde was nowhere to be found, but Gackt knew she would join him soon. His sister’s necklace still lay in front of the stone and Gackt set the flowers down before picking up the necklace, fastening it around his neck and tucking it under his shirt. Gackt then began the process of cleaning up the grave. He pulled up the weeds that had accumulated around the stone, cleared them away from the grave and set the roses in front of the stone. Gackt then brushed the willow leaves back behind the stone so that it was exposed to the sunlight, allowing him to read the words carved into it.

Here lies Hyde

A wonderful person much loved

And taken from the world too soon

You will always be missed

And never forgotten

There were no dates on the grave, merely the words carved into it. Gackt wondered who had buried Hyde here instead of in the town cemetery as he pulled the incense sticks out of his uniform. He set them in front of the stone and took out his lighter, lighting the end of the sticks so the sweet smell of cinnamon and vanilla filled the clearing. Satisfied that he’d done all he could, Gackt rose to his feet and waited for Hyde to show herself.

“I didn’t think you would come.” Gackt started as the ghost bride suddenly appeared next to the grave stone, looking surprised as she saw that Gackt had kept his promise and tended to her grave. “You… brought me flowers?”

“I promised I’d come back. When you told me that no one had come to your grave in years, I knew I had to do something. The dead should never be forgotten,” Gackt explained.

Hyde looked touched that he’d done all this for her and sat down next to the grave, fingers hovering over the petals of the roses. Gackt noticed that Hyde’s fingers passed through the crimson petals, but she didn’t seem to mind. “Thank you for tending to my grave.” Hyde frowned a little as she studied him. “How can you see me? I can show myself to people, but I’ve never had to make an effort to be seen by you.”

Gackt sat down across from her, silent for a few moments as he gathered his thoughts. He’d been asking himself that question ever since he’d seen the ghost in his backyard. “I’ve been able to see spirits ever since I was a child. I nearly drowned when I was seven. I’d overestimated my swimming abilities and had gone into the ocean… a riptide pulled me out into deep water and I wasn’t strong enough to swim back. I remember going under the waves… it felt like going to sleep. The next thing I knew, I was lying on the beach gasping for breath. Someone had seen me out there and was able to get me back to shore and breathing again. I’ve been able to see the dead ever since that day.”

Hyde nodded. “I’ve heard of people being able to see spirits, but I’ve never met anyone who can.”

Gackt changed the subject since he had his own questions to ask. “What did you mean yesterday when you said you were no lady?”

Hyde let out a most unladylike snort. “I’m not a woman, Gackt.”

The soldier stared, wondering if he’d heard right. Not a woman? Hyde did have a deep voice, not the type of voice a woman would have… but what about the wedding dress? “I don’t understand.”

Hyde sighed. “Of course you wouldn’t. Few would understand.” She – he, Gackt corrected himself – brushed his blonde hair back, frowning to himself as he traced one of the cuts on his arms. “It’s a long story and I’m not going to give you all the details. It still hurts to think about the life that was stolen from me even though sixty years have passed since I died.”

“You don’t have to tell me everything,” Gackt said. Some spirits were eager to tell their stories while others kept their secrets.

“It all began when I was sixteen. My father owned a successful business and had just gained a new business partner. He invited this man and his family to have dinner at our house, and he had a son my age. I was shy at first since I had no siblings and usually kept to myself. But his son was kind and patient and I liked him immediately, especially since he loved music as much as I did. Our fathers were happy that we got along so well and encouraged us to be friends. They wanted us to take over the family business someday, but we never put much stock into our future careers. We were simply happy to spend time with each other and we soon became the best of friends.” Hyde wrapped his arms around himself with a soft sigh. “He wasn’t just kind though. He was beautiful, more beautiful than any woman I’d ever seen… and I fell in love with him. I kept it secret for months because I was afraid I’d lose him if I told him. I needed him like I needed air, and I was terrified that he’d be disgusted with me. But he knew I was hiding something and pressed me for the truth until I finally confessed.”

Gackt listened in silence, unsurprised to hear that Hyde had fallen in love with another man. He wouldn’t have died in a wedding dress if a woman had claimed his heart. “Is this man’s name one of the details that hurts?”

“Yes,” Hyde said quietly. “I will tell you his name someday, but it pains me too much to say it now.”

“I won’t ask you to say his name then. What did he say when you confessed?” Gackt knew that others would be disgusted if they heard of Hyde’s love, but he didn’t care. He’d known a man’s touch himself when he’d been younger and eager to experiment. Love was love, no matter what form it took.

Hyde cast him a grateful look and continued his tale. “I told him that I’d fallen in love with him. I thought he’d abandon me, but he looked relieved and took me into his arms instead. He’d fallen in love with me too, but was just as afraid to tell me as I had been. We became lovers that night and kept our relationship a secret for three years. We didn’t dare to tell our parents or our friends about our relationship because we knew they would disapprove. Two men or two women loving each other was far too controversial for this town when I was alive. Despite the secrecy, we were happy… until his father arranged his engagement to the mayor’s daughter. The wedding date was set, and I had six months left with him. We couldn’t bear the thought of being parted from each other.”

“What did you do?” Gackt asked.

“My lover told me that he wouldn’t get married. He knew his father would be furious with him when he told him that he wouldn’t marry the mayor’s daughter, and he said that we wouldn’t be able to stay in this town if we wanted to be together. I didn’t want to leave my parents, but I knew he was right. My parents had already been talking about arranging a marriage for me. I didn’t want to marry anyone else but him, so I asked him to marry me. I didn’t care that we were both men; all I knew was that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.” Hyde smiled bitterly. “And I did.”

“What happened?”

“My lover gladly agreed. I told him I would disguise myself and wear my mother’s wedding dress and this blonde wig so the priest wouldn’t recognize me. He agreed, and we decided to marry the next night. I returned to my home and waited for him to pick me up at midnight.” Hyde snorted. “Just like a fairytale.” He brushed his hair back and continued, “I’d unpacked my mother’s wedding dress and was wearing it when he came for me. I’d been small and thin my entire life so I could easily wear her dress. My lover helped me out of the window and we went to the church. He had to wake up the priest, but he agreed to marry us despite the late hour. He was the only witness to our love.”

Gackt knew Hyde’s story would end soon since he’d died on his wedding night. “How did you die?”

Hyde sighed again and clutched his blood-stained skirt. “My new husband and I left the church and came to this clearing. We came here all the time so we could be alone with each other, and we wanted to celebrate our wedding night in our special place. We never got the chance though. We were attacked the moment he took me into his arms.” Hyde’s fists clenched at his sides, dark eyes flashing as he continued, “Our love had been discovered. I was pulled away from him and couldn’t defend myself since I had no weapon to block their attacks. My husband was injured, but he managed to grab a knife from one of the men and defend us. It was too late for me though. You see how much I bled; there was no way I could have survived. I died in his arms and he buried me here instead of in the cemetery. He came to me almost every day… leaving flowers, tending to the grave, and speaking to me. I tried to show myself to him, but he couldn’t see me. I think he felt my presence though since he kept coming… until he stopped.”

“When did he stop coming to your grave?”

“Five years after my murder.”

“He must have moved to a different town. Staying here would only have reminded him of you.”

It was the wrong thing to say. Hyde was up on his feet immediately, fingers balled into fists as his sides. “And what is so terrible about being reminded of me? Are you suggesting he was shamed of me?” he demanded, looking furious. The temperature around them was dropping rapidly with the force of Hyde’s anger.

Gackt quickly sought to pacify him. “There’s nothing wrong about being reminded of you and I never implied that he was ashamed. I meant that the memories of you could have been too painful for him to bear. He clearly loved you and he might have had to leave the town so he could recover from his grief.”

The bitter chill subsided as the anger faded from Hyde’s face. “Yes, that sounds like something he would have done.”

Gackt waited a few moments to ensure that the ghost had calmed down before asking his next question. “Did anyone else come to your grave?”

“My parents. They’re long dead now, but they came often since I was their only child. Some of my friends would come to my grave as well, but they all ceased to come as the years passed. They either moved on from this town or died.”

Gackt nodded. “How old were you when you died? There are no dates on your gravestone.”

“I was only twenty-two.”

Gackt frowned. Hyde had been so young when he’d been murdered. His story was just one of the many examples of how unfair life could be. “I don’t know what I can do, but I want to help you. You deserve to rest in peace instead of haunting this part of the forest for the rest of your existence.”

Hyde looked surprised, an uncertain look crossing his face. “You would do that… for me?”

“Yes. I try to help spirits complete whatever unfinished business they have that is keeping them in this world. Then they’re free to cross over.”

“I hope you can. I wish to move on, find my lover and my family… I keep hoping that we’ll be reborn into a new life together, but my spirit is tied to this land.”

“I’ll do everything I can to help you,” Gackt promised. He’d check the town records and see if he could find out anything about Hyde’s past and figure out who his mystery lover was. Hyde would have to tell him the whole story and reveal his lover’s name if he wanted his help, but Gackt knew that those questions could wait for another day.

After hearing Hyde's story, do you still have the same guesses about who Hyde's lover is/was? I wanted to give the name away in this chapter, but I wanted to keep an air of mystery to this instead of giving all of Hyde's secrets away early on in the story. Gackt will find out more of Hyde's secrets and Hyde will tell him, but those are for later chapters.

Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: L'Arc~en~Ciel - My Dear

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

gakkuhai.livejournal.com

I still think it's dear Yacchan, but I will wait until the next chapters...

However, "beautiful" and such makes me wonder if it isn't someone else.... D: Please update soon ;)

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A Soldier's Dream: 3/12

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