A Soldier's Dream: 5/12
Sep. 10th, 2011 04:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
write_my_dreamsTitle: A Soldier's Dream
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
write_my_dreams
Pairing: Gackt x Hyde (Dream only: Tetsu x Hyde)
Genre: AU
Warning/Disclaimer: Nothing to warn about. All I own is the story.
Rating: PG
Chapters: 5/12
Summary: After guest starring for VAMPS on Halloween, the costumes Gackt and Hyde wore haunt Gackt in his sleep and inspire a vivid dream.
Author's Comment: Note how there are now 12 chapters instead of 10. This chapter gave me hell and I had to keep taking a break from it since it was so infuriating. The begining and the end are the parts I'm still not too happy with, but I am honestly tired of working with this chapter so I'm just posting as is. I hope Chapter 6 won't be as hellish as this one was to write.
And seriously LJ, you're still making it difficult to post fics? I thought these issues had been fixed already.
Gackt listened for sounds of enemy soldiers as he walked through the forest. He had yet to encounter anyone thus far and hoped that the early hour would keep his enemies in their own camps. Even though the walk had been peaceful so far, he knew better than to drop his guard. Any soldier who lost himself in a false sense of security wound up dead, and Gackt didn’t intend to join his careless comrades.
The soldier turned down the path that led to Hyde’s grave and patted his pocket to ensure that the notebook was still there. He’d written down everything about Hyde’s life and his story in there. It’d been a good way to organize his thoughts about the ghost, and depending on how much Hyde was willing to tell him, he’d be able to add more.
Gackt stepped into the clearing and saw Hyde sitting with his back to the gravestone, watching the path and clearly waiting for the soldier’s arrival. “You’re back,” he smiled. At first he’d been skeptical that Gackt would ever return, but after he’d kept his promise Hyde greeted him with a smile now and trusted him to keep coming back to his grave. Seeing that smile made Gackt feel a little better about his choice to become a soldier and join the war. No matter how many men he killed or how much he endangered You with his choice, he’d been able to make one person happy. Even if that person was a ghost.
“I made a promise to help you rest in peace,” Gackt reminded. He sat down on the grass near Hyde, thinking of the newspaper article he’d found. From what Hyde had told him and Tetsu’s expression of grief in the picture, Tetsu had loved Hyde more than anything. So why had he left five years after his lover’s death and never returned? Hyde deserved to know why he’d been abandoned, but without Tetsu here to explain his actions the mystery couldn’t be solved. “I went into town yesterday and I found information about you in the records room.” Gackt pulled the notebook out of his uniform and opened it, casting the ghost a wary glance. Hyde had told him his story, but had left out names and certain details with a promise to tell Gackt the whole story someday. He didn’t have time to wait for Hyde to be comfortable enough to tell him everything and wasn’t sure how Hyde would react to him looking into his past.
The ghost looked more impressed than upset. “You’re clever. I would not have thought to look in the records room. What did you find?”
“There is no surname carved into your grave and you didn’t tell me yours, so I had to use your first name and the dates of your birth and death to find you in the records book. Once I knew your full name, I found your obituary. It describes you well.”
Hyde smiled sadly. “Yes, my parents came to my grave and read my obituary to me. They left a copy here, but the weather has long since destroyed it. What else did you find?”
“I needed to know your lover’s name. There was no mention of him in your obituary, so I turned to newspapers instead. This is still a small town and I doubt much has changed since you died so I knew that there was no chance that a murder would not go undocumented. I looked through newspapers from the year you’d been killed and found an article about your murder. There was a photo at the top that showed your parents and your lover standing in front of your grave and grieving for your loss. You were born Takarai Hyde, but after you married Ogawa Tetsu you cast that name aside, didn’t you?”
Hyde flinched as he heard the name of his long-lost love and looked down at his skirt. If a ghost could cry, Gackt knew that Hyde would be sobbing. “Yes,” he said quietly. “My grave should bear his name since I left the name of Takarai behind when I got married.” He looked over his shoulder at the gravestone, frowning at it as if it were the stone’s fault that only his first name and his epitaph had been etched into it. “Was there anything else?”
“The newspaper article gave me Tetsu’s name and I looked him up in the record’s book, but there was no date of death for him.” Gackt, not wanting to upset Hyde like he had last time, didn’t say the obvious: that Tetsu had moved on and left the town.
Hyde bowed his head and clutched his skirt, looking sad and a little lost. “Are you sure that entry was him?”
Gackt hid his relief at how calmly Hyde reacted to the news. Last time the merest suggestion that Tetsu would leave had infuriated him and the force of his anger had drained all warmth from the clearing. “There is no other Ogawa Tetsu your age. That was him, Hyde.”
Hyde drew his knees up to his chest and hugged his legs, looking heartbroken. “I knew all along that he must have left… I just didn’t want to admit it.”
“I’m sure he still cared about you,” Gackt said gently.
“Then why did he leave me?”
“I don’t know, Hyde.”
Hyde sighed. “Tetsu was the first to abandon me and everyone who ever cared about me has either died or left this town. Will you be the next one to abandon me? You’ll go home or die in this war and no one will come to visit me anymore.”
“I’ve already accepted that this war could kill me, but I’ve managed to survive so far and I want to help you find your peace before the war ends.”
“And what if you can’t help me? What if there is no way to help me rest in peace… what will you do then?”
“I don’t know,” Gackt admitted. He didn’t like to think that he could fail, but knew it was possible. He had assumptions for why Hyde lingered here, not actual facts. Ghosts lingered in the world of the living due to unfinished business, and he believed Hyde’s unfinished business had to do with Tetsu. Hyde had been murdered on what should have been the happiest day of his life. He had a chance to be with the man he loved and he’d taken that chance. Losing Tetsu so suddenly would have shocked Hyde enough and caused his spirit to stay here, waiting for Tetsu to join him in death so they could move on from this world together. But Tetsu had left and without him, Hyde had no hope of leaving. Gackt needed to find out where Tetsu had gone, why he’d left, and whether or not he still cared about Hyde. If Hyde could hear his lover’s side to the story, then there was a chance that he would be freed of his ties to this place. “I can’t promise that I’ll be able to give you your peace, but I will not leave until I’ve done everything I can to help you.”
Hyde smiled again. “Thank you. I’m tired of haunting this forest.”
“Are you trapped here?” Ghosts tended to linger near the places where they had died.
“I cannot leave the forest. Whenever I try, it’s as if there is an invisible barrier that prevents me from taking another step forward.” Hyde sighed again. “It was terrible when Tetsu was still here. I wanted to go into town and be with him every day, but I couldn’t. I could only see him when he came to me and no matter how hard I tried, I could not leave the forest.”
“Did he plant this tree?” Gackt indicated the weeping willow behind the grave. The first time he’d come here, he’d felt like the tree was mourning for Hyde’s passing since the leaves brushed against the gravestone like falling tears. It was a fitting tree to plant at the grave of a loved one.
Hyde smiled sadly. “He did. He said the tree would weep for my death longer after his life had ended.”
Gackt hesitated a few moments before asking his next question. It was a sensitive topic and he didn’t want to risk angering Hyde like he had the first time he’d suggested that Tetsu had left. “Do you know what happened to your murderers?”
A chill went down his spine as Hyde’s sad smiled changed into a wicked grin. “Of course I do.”
You killed them. “What happened?”
“I killed four of them.” Hyde smirked, seeming quite pleased with himself. “The mayor’s sons were the first to die, and I killed them when they came into the forest to hunt.”
“When did you kill them?”
“Two months after my death.”
“What happened to the other men?” Gackt asked.
“The third met his death when he joined the search party to find the mayor’s sons. I killed him shortly after he discovered the bodies of his friends. Once he was dead, I waited for the other two. Men from the village found the bodies and brought them back into the village… my murderers must have realized that I was the one who had killed their friends.”
“Did Tetsu ever talk to you about the deaths?” Hyde’s lover must have been suspicious that three of the men who had killed Hyde had died in the same part of the forest.
“He did. After I killed the mayor’s sons, Tetsu came to my grave and asked if I had had anything to do with their deaths since their bodies were unmarked and they had been perfectly healthy up until their deaths. I tried to tell Tetsu what happened, but I might as well have been speaking to a tree. He couldn’t hear me at all.”
“Did he seem upset that you were the one who killed the men?”
“Tetsu wasn’t positive that I had done it, but he was torn between his emotions. He was happy they were dead since they’d taken me away from him, but at the same time he was upset with himself for feeling joy over another’s death. And he said that he’d be very sad if I had killed them because I was too good for something like that.” Despite Tetsu’s words, Hyde still looked pleased with himself for killing his enemies.
“What about the last one?”
“Years passed after I’d killed the mayor’s sons and one of their friends. Two of my murderers were still alive, but I was patient. I knew they could not stay in town forever so I bided my time and waited for them to come into the forest. I spent my days at the edge of the forest, waiting for my chance. One night I saw them. Age had changed them, but I still recognized them for the murdering scum that they are.” Hyde clenched his fists and continued, “They had both been drinking. Alcohol made them careless and one decided to be bold and come into the trees, challenging me and saying he wouldn’t be afraid of a ghost. I killed him the moment his foot touched the forest floor.” Hyde’s satisfied smirk faded into a look of irritation. “His friend watched him die and realized what had happened. His screams alerted the townsfolk and he never came near the trees again. I don’t know what happened to him or how he lived out his life, but I assume he’s dead now.”
The chill went down Gackt’s spine again as Hyde proudly told him what he’d done to his murderers. Before this, the soldier had believed Hyde to be a gentle spirit. He was sad and lonely, but he’d never tried to harm Gackt or keep him in this clearing against his will. Knowing what Hyde had done to his murderers, even though his revenge had been justified, made Gackt question his beliefs. He’d seen a dark side to Hyde and knew that he could be one of the dangerous ghosts that Gackt had always tried to avoid.
“How did you kill them?” Morbid curiosity and a desire to understand Hyde made him ask.
“I wanted them to die slowly and painfully in the same way they murdered me, but I can’t hold a weapon.” The ghost looked disappointed about this. “I killed the men by pulling their souls from their bodies.”
Gackt suppressed a shiver. He was curious to know how Hyde had done that, but at the same time he didn’t want to know. He’d never thought he would feel pity for Hyde’s murderers, but after hearing how they had died he couldn’t help but feel some pity for them. He hoped his own death would not be caused by something paranormal. “Have you killed anyone else before?”
“I wished death upon my murderers because they’d taken my life, but now that they are dead and gone I have no need to kill anyone else,” Hyde replied. “If someone were to interfere with my grave then I would harm them, but no one has done so.” He was quiet for a few moments as he studied Gackt. “I can see that my tale has unnerved you. Put your fears to rest, Gackt. I have no reason to kill you. I’d be alone again if you died so don’t fear death by my hands.”
Gackt couldn’t think of a decent reply to that so just nodded instead. Thinking about what would happen if Hyde were to change his mind wasn’t a pleasant topic and he decided to change the subject. “Did you or Tetsu have any siblings? I wanted to see if you had any relatives that are still living.”
Hyde shook his head. “No, neither of us had siblings. It was just us and our parents.”
Gackt added that to his notebook along with the fates of Hyde’s murderers. He’d hoped to find a living relative so he could talk to them about Hyde, but that was now impossible. He considered asking the ghost for more details about the men who’d killed him, wondering if there was a chance that the last man was still alive and would talk to him about Hyde. Gackt immediately rejected the idea. Even if he was alive, he probably wouldn’t want to talk about Hyde and the soldier didn’t think he would be able to calmly face one of the men who had killed Hyde so many years ago.
“You know so much about me, but I know so little about you. Tell me about yourself,” Hyde said.
Startled by the question, Gackt tucked his notebook back into his uniform. Ghosts rarely cared about his life and were more concerned with themselves. “What do you want to know?”
“What made you decide to become a soldier?”
“I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted to protect my country and be a part of a cause, but it’s all wrong. I’m not saving my country at all by being in this war. I’m just watching my comrades die around me.” Gackt shook his head. “But I’m a soldier, I’m not supposed to think or question my being here. I’m supposed to obey my commanding officers and go out and fight. And if I’m lucky, I’ll live to fight another day.”
“What made you change your mind?” Hyde asked.
“Time,” Gackt replied. “The longer you fight, the harder it is to keep going into warzones. I can’t sleep because I dream about the men I’ve killed. I have to hear their screams and watch them die again. All this war has done is to make killers out of everyone. And my decision to go to war put my friends in danger. You… you haven’t seen him, but he’s my closest friend. He enlisted with me and was shot in the arm trying to protect me.” That day was another scene that haunted his nightmares, only the bullet wounds were fatal. You had gotten used to Gackt shaking him awake and frantically checking him over to ensure that he was all right.
“I lived in more peaceful times and never had any need to become a soldier, but I’ve seen what your war has done. It makes me glad that I was never a soldier.”
“It’s not a fate I would wish on anyone.”
“Do you have family waiting for you back home?”
“Yes, my parents, my sister, and my brother.”
“What about a lover?”
Gackt shook his head. “There’s no one.” He’d made sure that he wouldn’t have a sweetheart to leave behind. He wouldn’t want a woman to spend her days worrying about whether he was alive or dead and waiting for him to come home. Worrying about You like that was bad enough, he couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to worry about a lover in that way.
Hyde looked surprised. “No lover? But you’re so kind; surely anyone would be happy to be your lover.”
“That’s only one side of me,” Gackt reminded. Hyde had only seen him as caring and helpful, but he wasn’t always like that. He was just as human as everyone else and got stressed and angry too.
Hyde smiled a little. “That’s true.” He turned his gaze skywards, frowning at the position of the sun. “How long can you stay with me today?”
Gackt had left early so he could have enough time to speak with Hyde and ask his questions, but he would need to return to base soon. “Not much longer, I can’t be late for morning training.”
The ghost looked disappointed. “I hoped you’d be able to stay longer.”
“I’ll come back on a free day so we’ll have more time to talk.” Gackt got up and brushed grass off his uniform. Hyde had answered his questions, but he needed to look in the records room once more. He decided to spend part of his next free day in town with the records and the rest here with Hyde. “And I’ll bring fresh flowers and incense for your grave.”
Hyde looked a little happier. “Thank you. It makes me happy to see my grave being tended to… when my friends and family were alive, my grave was always covered with flowers and messages they’d written to me.” His smile faded and he looked back at the gravestone again, clearly missing the days when he had so many visitors.
“I’ll try to bring You with me next time. He’s never seen a ghost before so I don’t think he’ll be able to see you, but you’ll like him. He’s the best friend a man can have,” Gackt said. Getting You to come here would take some convincing, but treating him to dinner would probably work.
Hyde looked happy again. “I’d love to meet your friend.” It was sad how something as simple as bringing You with him could make Hyde so happy, but Gackt knew that any company was welcome to the lonely ghost.
“I’ll tell him that. Goodbye, Hyde.”
“Be careful,” the ghost said, waving as Gackt left the clearing.
Author:
write_my_dreamsPairing: Gackt x Hyde (Dream only: Tetsu x Hyde)
Genre: AU
Warning/Disclaimer: Nothing to warn about. All I own is the story.
Rating: PG
Chapters: 5/12
Summary: After guest starring for VAMPS on Halloween, the costumes Gackt and Hyde wore haunt Gackt in his sleep and inspire a vivid dream.
Author's Comment: Note how there are now 12 chapters instead of 10. This chapter gave me hell and I had to keep taking a break from it since it was so infuriating. The begining and the end are the parts I'm still not too happy with, but I am honestly tired of working with this chapter so I'm just posting as is. I hope Chapter 6 won't be as hellish as this one was to write.
And seriously LJ, you're still making it difficult to post fics? I thought these issues had been fixed already.
Gackt listened for sounds of enemy soldiers as he walked through the forest. He had yet to encounter anyone thus far and hoped that the early hour would keep his enemies in their own camps. Even though the walk had been peaceful so far, he knew better than to drop his guard. Any soldier who lost himself in a false sense of security wound up dead, and Gackt didn’t intend to join his careless comrades.
The soldier turned down the path that led to Hyde’s grave and patted his pocket to ensure that the notebook was still there. He’d written down everything about Hyde’s life and his story in there. It’d been a good way to organize his thoughts about the ghost, and depending on how much Hyde was willing to tell him, he’d be able to add more.
Gackt stepped into the clearing and saw Hyde sitting with his back to the gravestone, watching the path and clearly waiting for the soldier’s arrival. “You’re back,” he smiled. At first he’d been skeptical that Gackt would ever return, but after he’d kept his promise Hyde greeted him with a smile now and trusted him to keep coming back to his grave. Seeing that smile made Gackt feel a little better about his choice to become a soldier and join the war. No matter how many men he killed or how much he endangered You with his choice, he’d been able to make one person happy. Even if that person was a ghost.
“I made a promise to help you rest in peace,” Gackt reminded. He sat down on the grass near Hyde, thinking of the newspaper article he’d found. From what Hyde had told him and Tetsu’s expression of grief in the picture, Tetsu had loved Hyde more than anything. So why had he left five years after his lover’s death and never returned? Hyde deserved to know why he’d been abandoned, but without Tetsu here to explain his actions the mystery couldn’t be solved. “I went into town yesterday and I found information about you in the records room.” Gackt pulled the notebook out of his uniform and opened it, casting the ghost a wary glance. Hyde had told him his story, but had left out names and certain details with a promise to tell Gackt the whole story someday. He didn’t have time to wait for Hyde to be comfortable enough to tell him everything and wasn’t sure how Hyde would react to him looking into his past.
The ghost looked more impressed than upset. “You’re clever. I would not have thought to look in the records room. What did you find?”
“There is no surname carved into your grave and you didn’t tell me yours, so I had to use your first name and the dates of your birth and death to find you in the records book. Once I knew your full name, I found your obituary. It describes you well.”
Hyde smiled sadly. “Yes, my parents came to my grave and read my obituary to me. They left a copy here, but the weather has long since destroyed it. What else did you find?”
“I needed to know your lover’s name. There was no mention of him in your obituary, so I turned to newspapers instead. This is still a small town and I doubt much has changed since you died so I knew that there was no chance that a murder would not go undocumented. I looked through newspapers from the year you’d been killed and found an article about your murder. There was a photo at the top that showed your parents and your lover standing in front of your grave and grieving for your loss. You were born Takarai Hyde, but after you married Ogawa Tetsu you cast that name aside, didn’t you?”
Hyde flinched as he heard the name of his long-lost love and looked down at his skirt. If a ghost could cry, Gackt knew that Hyde would be sobbing. “Yes,” he said quietly. “My grave should bear his name since I left the name of Takarai behind when I got married.” He looked over his shoulder at the gravestone, frowning at it as if it were the stone’s fault that only his first name and his epitaph had been etched into it. “Was there anything else?”
“The newspaper article gave me Tetsu’s name and I looked him up in the record’s book, but there was no date of death for him.” Gackt, not wanting to upset Hyde like he had last time, didn’t say the obvious: that Tetsu had moved on and left the town.
Hyde bowed his head and clutched his skirt, looking sad and a little lost. “Are you sure that entry was him?”
Gackt hid his relief at how calmly Hyde reacted to the news. Last time the merest suggestion that Tetsu would leave had infuriated him and the force of his anger had drained all warmth from the clearing. “There is no other Ogawa Tetsu your age. That was him, Hyde.”
Hyde drew his knees up to his chest and hugged his legs, looking heartbroken. “I knew all along that he must have left… I just didn’t want to admit it.”
“I’m sure he still cared about you,” Gackt said gently.
“Then why did he leave me?”
“I don’t know, Hyde.”
Hyde sighed. “Tetsu was the first to abandon me and everyone who ever cared about me has either died or left this town. Will you be the next one to abandon me? You’ll go home or die in this war and no one will come to visit me anymore.”
“I’ve already accepted that this war could kill me, but I’ve managed to survive so far and I want to help you find your peace before the war ends.”
“And what if you can’t help me? What if there is no way to help me rest in peace… what will you do then?”
“I don’t know,” Gackt admitted. He didn’t like to think that he could fail, but knew it was possible. He had assumptions for why Hyde lingered here, not actual facts. Ghosts lingered in the world of the living due to unfinished business, and he believed Hyde’s unfinished business had to do with Tetsu. Hyde had been murdered on what should have been the happiest day of his life. He had a chance to be with the man he loved and he’d taken that chance. Losing Tetsu so suddenly would have shocked Hyde enough and caused his spirit to stay here, waiting for Tetsu to join him in death so they could move on from this world together. But Tetsu had left and without him, Hyde had no hope of leaving. Gackt needed to find out where Tetsu had gone, why he’d left, and whether or not he still cared about Hyde. If Hyde could hear his lover’s side to the story, then there was a chance that he would be freed of his ties to this place. “I can’t promise that I’ll be able to give you your peace, but I will not leave until I’ve done everything I can to help you.”
Hyde smiled again. “Thank you. I’m tired of haunting this forest.”
“Are you trapped here?” Ghosts tended to linger near the places where they had died.
“I cannot leave the forest. Whenever I try, it’s as if there is an invisible barrier that prevents me from taking another step forward.” Hyde sighed again. “It was terrible when Tetsu was still here. I wanted to go into town and be with him every day, but I couldn’t. I could only see him when he came to me and no matter how hard I tried, I could not leave the forest.”
“Did he plant this tree?” Gackt indicated the weeping willow behind the grave. The first time he’d come here, he’d felt like the tree was mourning for Hyde’s passing since the leaves brushed against the gravestone like falling tears. It was a fitting tree to plant at the grave of a loved one.
Hyde smiled sadly. “He did. He said the tree would weep for my death longer after his life had ended.”
Gackt hesitated a few moments before asking his next question. It was a sensitive topic and he didn’t want to risk angering Hyde like he had the first time he’d suggested that Tetsu had left. “Do you know what happened to your murderers?”
A chill went down his spine as Hyde’s sad smiled changed into a wicked grin. “Of course I do.”
You killed them. “What happened?”
“I killed four of them.” Hyde smirked, seeming quite pleased with himself. “The mayor’s sons were the first to die, and I killed them when they came into the forest to hunt.”
“When did you kill them?”
“Two months after my death.”
“What happened to the other men?” Gackt asked.
“The third met his death when he joined the search party to find the mayor’s sons. I killed him shortly after he discovered the bodies of his friends. Once he was dead, I waited for the other two. Men from the village found the bodies and brought them back into the village… my murderers must have realized that I was the one who had killed their friends.”
“Did Tetsu ever talk to you about the deaths?” Hyde’s lover must have been suspicious that three of the men who had killed Hyde had died in the same part of the forest.
“He did. After I killed the mayor’s sons, Tetsu came to my grave and asked if I had had anything to do with their deaths since their bodies were unmarked and they had been perfectly healthy up until their deaths. I tried to tell Tetsu what happened, but I might as well have been speaking to a tree. He couldn’t hear me at all.”
“Did he seem upset that you were the one who killed the men?”
“Tetsu wasn’t positive that I had done it, but he was torn between his emotions. He was happy they were dead since they’d taken me away from him, but at the same time he was upset with himself for feeling joy over another’s death. And he said that he’d be very sad if I had killed them because I was too good for something like that.” Despite Tetsu’s words, Hyde still looked pleased with himself for killing his enemies.
“What about the last one?”
“Years passed after I’d killed the mayor’s sons and one of their friends. Two of my murderers were still alive, but I was patient. I knew they could not stay in town forever so I bided my time and waited for them to come into the forest. I spent my days at the edge of the forest, waiting for my chance. One night I saw them. Age had changed them, but I still recognized them for the murdering scum that they are.” Hyde clenched his fists and continued, “They had both been drinking. Alcohol made them careless and one decided to be bold and come into the trees, challenging me and saying he wouldn’t be afraid of a ghost. I killed him the moment his foot touched the forest floor.” Hyde’s satisfied smirk faded into a look of irritation. “His friend watched him die and realized what had happened. His screams alerted the townsfolk and he never came near the trees again. I don’t know what happened to him or how he lived out his life, but I assume he’s dead now.”
The chill went down Gackt’s spine again as Hyde proudly told him what he’d done to his murderers. Before this, the soldier had believed Hyde to be a gentle spirit. He was sad and lonely, but he’d never tried to harm Gackt or keep him in this clearing against his will. Knowing what Hyde had done to his murderers, even though his revenge had been justified, made Gackt question his beliefs. He’d seen a dark side to Hyde and knew that he could be one of the dangerous ghosts that Gackt had always tried to avoid.
“How did you kill them?” Morbid curiosity and a desire to understand Hyde made him ask.
“I wanted them to die slowly and painfully in the same way they murdered me, but I can’t hold a weapon.” The ghost looked disappointed about this. “I killed the men by pulling their souls from their bodies.”
Gackt suppressed a shiver. He was curious to know how Hyde had done that, but at the same time he didn’t want to know. He’d never thought he would feel pity for Hyde’s murderers, but after hearing how they had died he couldn’t help but feel some pity for them. He hoped his own death would not be caused by something paranormal. “Have you killed anyone else before?”
“I wished death upon my murderers because they’d taken my life, but now that they are dead and gone I have no need to kill anyone else,” Hyde replied. “If someone were to interfere with my grave then I would harm them, but no one has done so.” He was quiet for a few moments as he studied Gackt. “I can see that my tale has unnerved you. Put your fears to rest, Gackt. I have no reason to kill you. I’d be alone again if you died so don’t fear death by my hands.”
Gackt couldn’t think of a decent reply to that so just nodded instead. Thinking about what would happen if Hyde were to change his mind wasn’t a pleasant topic and he decided to change the subject. “Did you or Tetsu have any siblings? I wanted to see if you had any relatives that are still living.”
Hyde shook his head. “No, neither of us had siblings. It was just us and our parents.”
Gackt added that to his notebook along with the fates of Hyde’s murderers. He’d hoped to find a living relative so he could talk to them about Hyde, but that was now impossible. He considered asking the ghost for more details about the men who’d killed him, wondering if there was a chance that the last man was still alive and would talk to him about Hyde. Gackt immediately rejected the idea. Even if he was alive, he probably wouldn’t want to talk about Hyde and the soldier didn’t think he would be able to calmly face one of the men who had killed Hyde so many years ago.
“You know so much about me, but I know so little about you. Tell me about yourself,” Hyde said.
Startled by the question, Gackt tucked his notebook back into his uniform. Ghosts rarely cared about his life and were more concerned with themselves. “What do you want to know?”
“What made you decide to become a soldier?”
“I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted to protect my country and be a part of a cause, but it’s all wrong. I’m not saving my country at all by being in this war. I’m just watching my comrades die around me.” Gackt shook his head. “But I’m a soldier, I’m not supposed to think or question my being here. I’m supposed to obey my commanding officers and go out and fight. And if I’m lucky, I’ll live to fight another day.”
“What made you change your mind?” Hyde asked.
“Time,” Gackt replied. “The longer you fight, the harder it is to keep going into warzones. I can’t sleep because I dream about the men I’ve killed. I have to hear their screams and watch them die again. All this war has done is to make killers out of everyone. And my decision to go to war put my friends in danger. You… you haven’t seen him, but he’s my closest friend. He enlisted with me and was shot in the arm trying to protect me.” That day was another scene that haunted his nightmares, only the bullet wounds were fatal. You had gotten used to Gackt shaking him awake and frantically checking him over to ensure that he was all right.
“I lived in more peaceful times and never had any need to become a soldier, but I’ve seen what your war has done. It makes me glad that I was never a soldier.”
“It’s not a fate I would wish on anyone.”
“Do you have family waiting for you back home?”
“Yes, my parents, my sister, and my brother.”
“What about a lover?”
Gackt shook his head. “There’s no one.” He’d made sure that he wouldn’t have a sweetheart to leave behind. He wouldn’t want a woman to spend her days worrying about whether he was alive or dead and waiting for him to come home. Worrying about You like that was bad enough, he couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to worry about a lover in that way.
Hyde looked surprised. “No lover? But you’re so kind; surely anyone would be happy to be your lover.”
“That’s only one side of me,” Gackt reminded. Hyde had only seen him as caring and helpful, but he wasn’t always like that. He was just as human as everyone else and got stressed and angry too.
Hyde smiled a little. “That’s true.” He turned his gaze skywards, frowning at the position of the sun. “How long can you stay with me today?”
Gackt had left early so he could have enough time to speak with Hyde and ask his questions, but he would need to return to base soon. “Not much longer, I can’t be late for morning training.”
The ghost looked disappointed. “I hoped you’d be able to stay longer.”
“I’ll come back on a free day so we’ll have more time to talk.” Gackt got up and brushed grass off his uniform. Hyde had answered his questions, but he needed to look in the records room once more. He decided to spend part of his next free day in town with the records and the rest here with Hyde. “And I’ll bring fresh flowers and incense for your grave.”
Hyde looked a little happier. “Thank you. It makes me happy to see my grave being tended to… when my friends and family were alive, my grave was always covered with flowers and messages they’d written to me.” His smile faded and he looked back at the gravestone again, clearly missing the days when he had so many visitors.
“I’ll try to bring You with me next time. He’s never seen a ghost before so I don’t think he’ll be able to see you, but you’ll like him. He’s the best friend a man can have,” Gackt said. Getting You to come here would take some convincing, but treating him to dinner would probably work.
Hyde looked happy again. “I’d love to meet your friend.” It was sad how something as simple as bringing You with him could make Hyde so happy, but Gackt knew that any company was welcome to the lonely ghost.
“I’ll tell him that. Goodbye, Hyde.”
“Be careful,” the ghost said, waving as Gackt left the clearing.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-09-11 12:52 pm (UTC)Also ... wow, Hyde as a ghost murdering his murderers? I actually like the thought ^.^ (though I should not, I guess)
Great chapter!! :3
no subject
Date: 2011-09-11 04:45 pm (UTC)(Probably not) Hyde wanted his revenge
Thank you :)
no subject
Date: 2011-09-11 01:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-13 02:22 am (UTC)You to the rescue! He's not too fond of Gackt spending so much time and energy on helping a ghost
no subject
Date: 2011-09-12 10:41 pm (UTC)♥
Poor Hyde having to finally admit that Tetsu did leave him. I wonder what happened to him? I really hope Gackt will be able to help Hyde find peace.
I was not expecting Hyde to have killed his murderers. Like Gackt, I only saw him as a sad, lonely soul. But I certainly can't blame him, they deserved it for what they did :\
It was nice for Hyde to ask Gackt about himself too. Though being a soldier sounds horrible, especially after you realize how pointless fighting wars can actually be.
I'm anxious to see what'll happen when Gackt brings You along. Hopefully the next chapter won't give you so much trouble :)
no subject
Date: 2011-09-12 10:49 pm (UTC)I think that surprised a lot of people. Hyde is a sad, lonely soul
forever waiting for his Tet-chanbut he wanted his revenge too. Yes they didHyde's curious about Gackt too. That's my opinion of a soldier, it's not something I could ever handle. World War II actually had a purpose, but so many others are just utterly pointless.
Poor You, always getting dragged into Gackt's schemes. I hope so too! I have it started, I've just been lazy today
no subject
Date: 2011-09-13 02:03 pm (UTC)i'm so curious how gackt can help hyde find his peace..
thanks for this great story hope you update again soon..:)
no subject
Date: 2011-09-13 02:47 pm (UTC)You'll find out in later chapters
You're welcome! I have 2 pages of chapter 6 done and it's turning out well :)
no subject
Date: 2011-09-16 08:21 pm (UTC)In Drag) I can't believe Gackt would take pity on them, they damn right deserved it! >:C I imagine ripping someone's soul out is quite painful, just as much as getting stabbed to death, so that's a fair trade. I also was smiling imaging Hyde's ">:D" face while remembering how he killed them. XDDOh, also forgot to mention LPFOPJWQA HE TOOK TETSU'S LAST NAME HOW SWEET!!!! :'D *spazzes everywhere* HOW CUTE. Still want to punch Tetsu for leaving Hyde though, he could have at least visited his grave one last time and explained why he was leaving before doing so, geez. >.>;;;
Also, I feel like there's something odd about this sentence: "That day was another scene that haunted his nightmares, only the bullet wounds were fatal. You had gotten used to Gackt shaking him awake and frantically checking him over to ensure that he was all right." I feel like something is missing...did you mean that the bullets WEREN'T fatal? :O
Besides that, nothing else to pick on! Looking forward to next chappie!! :D
no subject
Date: 2011-09-16 08:30 pm (UTC)Hyde's a loving wife! Tetsu is/was his world so he wanted Tetsu's name. I know, he should have. Then I wouldn't have a mystery though xD You'll find out Tetsu's reasons... in chapter 10. Haha I imagine Gackt will be rather pouty after this dream and hug Hyde a lot around Tetsu since that's HIS Hyde
I had a hard time getting the wording right with that one. No, the bullet wounds in the nightmare are fatal. You was shot in the arm (which is not a fatal wound) and Gackt's afraid that You will get shot again, so his fears translate into his dreams. The sentence wouldn't work if the bullet wounds weren't fatal since it wouldn't have the same effect on Gackt
I got distracted by an urgent need to read NC-17 HaiTsu, but I'll get back to it now and hopefully hopefully have it up soon
no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 02:19 am (UTC)Woooowww again, I didn't know Hyde killed them O___O I understand how Gackt's feeling...sure u will afraid of your own safety if that was the case, but I'm sure Hyde will be good to him ^__^
Poor Hyde all alone for a long time, I have theory though why Tetsu leave, but I'll keep it and wait what you will put him to :D
no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 03:13 am (UTC)He did and Gackt has reasons to worry, but Hyde's telling the truth
Poor Hyde indeed :( What's your theory? I already have my reasons for Tetsu leaving Hyde, but I'm curious about yours
no subject
Date: 2011-10-04 02:01 pm (UTC)--> there's a typo there. "the one"
Hyde... pulled the souls... out of their bodies... Holy crap. Motherfucker. That's cruel. O_o" I really went "Holy fuck..." out loud just then. xD
and still, my heart warms at the thought of Hyde just smiling because Gackt will come back, because he'll bring You along. It's sad because Hyde is just lonely and wants someone to be there. Most of all Tetsu of course, but you get my drift... ^-^"
next one!
no subject
Date: 2011-10-04 04:24 pm (UTC)It's gentle compared to the idea I had after posting the next chapter... Hyde possessing the men and forcing them to kill themselves/each other in very painful ways. Pulling the souls out was what worked best though
Hyde's very happy to see Gackt since he keeps him company. Hyde is very lonely, but as long as he has Gackt to visit he can be happy