write_my_dreams | A Soldier's Dream: 8/12

Title: A Soldier's Dream
Author: write_my_dreams
Pairing: Gackt x Hyde (Dream only: past Tetsu x Hyde)
Genre: AU, angst, drama
Warning/Disclaimer: Contains violence. I own no one and no members of GacktJOB were harmed in the making of this fic.
Rating: PG-13
Chapters: 8/12
Summary: After guest starring for VAMPS, the costumes Gackt and Hyde wore haunt Gackt in his sleep and inspire a vivid dream.
Author's Comment: I'm sorry for how long it took me to post this chapter. I've had it done for a while, but haven't been in the mood to edit it since I had a hard time writing it. And an even harder time editing it. I had to add in a few parts to the chapter, but these additions were a good thing and the chapter is much better than what it was before. I promise the next chapters will be out sooner.

Gackt surveyed his new station, comparing it to the one he’d left behind. It was laid out in a similar fashion with sections designated to the commanding officers, the hospital, training grounds, and lodging. This station was larger though since more soldiers were housed here. He’d only been here for a few minutes, but already missed his previous post. Before he’d met Hyde, he’d never cared about being transferred to other stations. Each base was another place to live, another place to fight, kill, and lose more comrades. They all blended into one, but because of Hyde his previous station had been different. The ghost had given him a purpose and made him feel that enlisting in the army was a good thing.

But here, there was nothing to make him feel good about his decision. There were no ghosts to help. No townspeople to mingle with since the nearest town was a four hour drive away – not that he would have been able to visit anyway. There were no such things as free days in this station… not when there was a war to be won. When he wasn’t in combat, he would be training or listening to the generals talk about tactics. What little free time he had would be spent resting so he would have energy for the next day. Gackt knew he’d need to keep his strength up here. Tonight his unit would train with the other soldiers and in two days they would enter the forest and fight. It would be time to see if he could keep his promise to Hyde or if a bullet would make that impossible.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked.

“Our new life here.” Gackt knew that things would be very different in this station. Life had been relatively comfortable in the previous station since they’d had more free days and didn’t have to go into combat as much as they normally would. He could have deluded himself into thinking that the war was over, but this new station was a reality check.

“Be careful.” You looked frustrated since his arm still prohibited him from fighting. He’d never thought his injury would keep him out of combat for this long and hated the fact that once again he would have to stay behind and watch his friends leave… and wait to see how many of them would return.

“I will.” Gackt managed a smile as he ruffled You’s hair. “I’d tell you to stop worrying, but I know you won’t listen to me.”

“Of course I’m going to worry about you. You’re my best friend, Gackt.”

“I know I am, but you need to focus on yourself and rest so you can get that arm healed.”

You made a sour face. “It won’t heal fast enough.”

“You should be able to use it again soon.” Privately, Gackt hoped that You’s arm would keep him from combat for even longer. He couldn’t afford to lose him and would rather have You frustrated and feeling useless than dead.

“I hope so.” You adjusted his sling. “Let’s get settled in. We don’t have much time before training tonight.” He couldn’t always participate in the training sessions due to his arm, but he would come and watch and do what little he could so that he’d be ready to fight when he could finally take his arm out of the sling.

Gackt nodded and picked up his bag, following You into the lodging section of the station. That was one good thing about this station – instead of tents, the soldiers would sleep in the barracks. It’d be good to have a proper bed again.

*   *   *

Gackt adjusted his helmet and looked at the men around him. It’d been a week since they’d come here and new faces had had been added to his unit to replace the men who’d been killed. Six men had already been shot in today’s battle and he knew that more would die. His closest friends were still here though, and he smiled a little at the sight of Jun-ji’s bright hair sticking out from under his helmet. His hair was always getting him into trouble with the commanding officers, but he never obeyed their orders to cut his hair or dye it back to black.

His smile faded as he looked over at You. Once again, You was at his side – his presence a silent comfort and concern. He’d been able to take off the sling two days ago and had been allowed to join the men today and fight. You was happy to be useful again, but Gackt was worried. He’d gotten used to You’s injury keeping him from combat. He hadn’t had to worry about You’s life in some time, but now those fears were back.

Gackt rose above the barrier to open fire on the enemy soldiers once more. He forced himself not to think about You, knowing how dangerous distractions could be. Every soldier had that message drilled into their heads. Distractions are deadly. Don’t think about home or your girlfriend. Think about yourself or you’ll get shot. Gackt ducked under the barrier and glanced at You again. He knew he had to focus on keeping himself and not You alive, but changing his way was hard. He’d been looking out for You since they were kids.

You smiled as he caught him looking. “Stop worrying about me, idiot. Take your own advice and worry about yourself.”

I can’t. “I can’t help but worry about you though.” He knew You could take care of himself, that he didn’t always need Gackt’s help, and that he wouldn’t be helping either of them by focusing on You. It was easy to think something, but difficult to follow through.

“I know. But you don’t have to.” You opened fire on the enemy soldiers, and the two fell into a familiar routine. Shoot. Duck. Rise and shoot. Duck and reload. Shoot. Several of his comrades were shot down by enemy soldiers, and Gackt made sure to take down a few of his enemies to compensate for their loss.

The soldier cursed as his gun made a hollow clicking noise and ducked back under the barrier to reload the weapon. He glanced over at You as he loaded his gun, unable to stop himself from checking on his friend. You was taking his chance to fire at the enemy soldiers again. Gackt thought of their earlier words and knew that You was right. He constantly told You not to worry about him, yet couldn’t do the same thing for You. It was hypocritical and he needed to have more faith in his friend. You would be fine. You would be… what? Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as a bullet disappeared into You’s uniform. For a moment he looked shocked, looking down at his chest and watching blood blossom under the grey cloth. The world played at normal speed again as You doubled over, dropping the gun and clutching his side in pain.

“You!” Gackt pulled You into his arms. His hands shook as he opened You’s uniform to see where the bullet had entered his body. This couldn’t be happening. He’d just started to believe in You, trusted that he’d be safe. That he’d be fine. So how could he have been shot? This was the second time he’d been shot… and it was Gackt’s fault. It’d been his idea to go to war, and You had followed him. He wouldn’t be hurt if it wasn’t for Gackt. “You…” Gackt breathed a sigh of relief since the bullet hadn’t pierced a vital organ. His relief was short lived since You was bleeding and needed medical attention. Gackt felt his friend’s back to see if the bullet had exited his body, cursing softly when he found no exit wound. A nurse would have to do surgery on him to remove the bullet.

“Can you move? I need to take you to the medics.”

You pressed a hand over the wound and nodded. “Yes.”

Gackt gently laid him down and looked around for Jun-ji’s familiar hair. He saw him reloading his gun nearby and approached him, tugging at his sleeve. “I need you to cover me. You’s been shot.”

Jun-ji looked alarmed. “Where?”

“Nowhere fatal.” Gackt went back to You and pulled his arm over his shoulders, propping him up against the barrier and listening to the sounds of bullets and groans of pain. Standing would be suicide and they’d have to get You out of firing range before they could properly walk.

“Hang in there, You.” Jun-ji cast him a worried look.

“Let’s go.” Gackt stayed low in a half crouch to avoid being shot as he guided You away from the barrier’s protection. The tense set of Jun-ji’s shoulders mirrored his own as a part of him waited to feel the pain of a bullet piercing his body. It didn’t happen though, but the sound of You’s labored breathing and occasional hisses of pain were just as bad. The noises killed Gackt, but there was nothing he could do. It was a relief when they were out of range and could finally stand up straight.

Gackt adjusted his grip on You. “Still bleeding?”

“Yes.”

“You’ll be okay, You. I promise.”

You managed a nod, and Gackt continued to talk to him since he could tell the words were making him feel better. The soldier knew he was babbling, talking about what they would do when You was healthy again and their greater plans for after the war had ended. Jun-ji chimed in occasionally, but focused more on their surroundings than talking since he was in charge of keeping them alive.

Gackt breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the white medical tent up ahead. Several trucks were parked behind the tent, ready to carry the wounded men back to base if their injuries were too severe. A nurse stood in the bed of one truck and supervised the loading of wounded soldiers into the truck. Armed soldiers stood next to her while others guarded the rest of the trucks and the tent. They stepped aside to let Gackt enter, and Jun-ji waited outside while Gackt brought You into the tent. Bleeding men lay across several cots as nurses in stained uniforms tended to their wounds.

A tired-looking nurse came up to him. “What happened?”

“My friend’s been shot.” Gackt pulled You’s bloody hand aside to show her where the bullet had entered his body.

“Lay him down here.” The nurse indicated a cot. Gackt helped You lay down and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“You’re going to be okay.”

You managed a weak smile. “Let’s hope so. I don’t feel like it.”

Gackt frowned. “Don’t think like that. You’re going to be fine.” He tightened his grip on You’s hand. “If you die I will never forgive you. I’ll hate you forever because you abandoned me. But if you stay with me, I’ll love you forever. So you have to stay with me, You, because I don’t want to hate you. I promise I’ll buy you dinner for the rest of our lives as long as you stay with me.”

“And dessert?” You asked softly.

Gackt felt tears coming to his eyes as he imagined how empty his life would be without You. “Whatever you want,” he promised, trying to push the dark thoughts away. You hadn’t been fatally injured. He was going to be all right.

The nurse laid a hand on his shoulder. “Let me take care of your friend.”

Gackt reluctantly released You’s hand and stepped back so the nurse could do her job. She frowned as she examined the wound. “I need to get him back to base so I can do surgery. Help me get him out to the truck.”

“You have to get up again, You.” Gackt gently eased him into a sitting position and pulled his arm over his shoulders, helping him to his feet again.

“Just like you… won’t let me rest, even when I’m injured.”

Gackt managed a smile, glad that You was still able to tease him even though he was in pain. “Come on, You. They’ll take care of you once they get you back to base.” He followed the nurse out of the tent, moving slowly for You’s sake.

Jun-ji looked up as he saw them. “Are you taking him back to base?”

“Yes, the nurses can’t operate on him here.” Gackt followed the nurse to the truck that had already been loaded with injured men. A second nurse and three armed soldiers were seated in the bed of the truck, watching over the wounded men.

She climbed into the truck and indicated the space next to her. “Set him down here.”

Gackt took You’s arm off his shoulders and helped him climb inside. You lay down and Gackt tried to make him as comfortable as he could before taking a seat next to him. One of the nurses frowned at him and he cast her a defiant look. She could order him away, but he wouldn’t listen. You needed him and he refused to leave his side.

The nurse frowned. “You’ll only be in the way if you stay here. Go back to the front lines, soldier. That’s where you’re needed most.”

Gackt shook his head. “I’m not going to leave him.”

“You’ll get yourself killed if you go back there,” Jun-ji said. He handed Gackt his gun and climbed into the back of the truck. “Stay away from the front lines.” He took the gun back. “You’ll be a mess if you go back since you’ll be so busy worrying about You. Your mind will be on him, not on war, and you’ll make a careless mistake.”

“Jun-ji’s right.”

Gackt didn’t think his concentration would be as bad as his friends thought it would be, but didn’t protest since he wanted to be with You and not at the front lines. He turned his attention back to the nurse. “I’m not going to leave You.”

She threw up her hands in frustration. “Fine, but if you’re going to stay get a gun and make yourself useful. Shoot anyone wearing the wrong uniform so we can get these men back to the hospital.”

“Take mine.” One of the soldiers guarding the trucks handed Gackt his gun. He took it with a nod of thanks and the man climbed into the driver’s seat and started driving them back to base. Gackt readied his gun so he could shoot the first enemy soldier he saw, glancing down at You every so often. You’s eyes were closed and he made the occasional grimace of pain as the truck hit a bump in the road. He forced himself to look away from You and back at the road again. The sooner they got back to base, the sooner You would get the medical attention he needed.

*   *   *

Gackt paced outside the entrance to the hospital, waiting impatiently for the nurse to come outside and tell him about You. After they’d reached the hospital, Gackt and Jun-ji had been ordered to wait outside. For once, he’d obeyed because he knew that he would only be in the way. He needed to let the nurse do her job and understood that there was nothing he could do for You now.

“How long has he been in there?” Jun-ji asked.

“It feels like forever.” Gackt paused and looked at the hospital. He could just go in and check on You…

“Don’t.” Jun-ji caught his sleeve. “The nurse is right. We’d only be in her way.”

“I know,” Gackt let out a frustrated sigh. “The waiting is killing me though.”

“She said she’d come out and talk to you once the surgery is over.”

Gackt remembered that. “A surgery shouldn’t take this long though. Where is she?” He started pacing again, stopping as the nurse stepped outside. There was blood on her apron and she was wringing her hands, clearly upset. You. “What happened?” Gackt demanded. Had something gone wrong during the surgery? It happened sometimes… every soldier had heard horror stories of things going wrong on the surgeon’s table.

“I put him under with the anesthetic so I could perform the surgery. There was no complication with the surgery; the bullet has been removed and your friend is lucky that none of his vital organs were struck. He’s going to be fine,” the nurse sighed. “…If he wakes up. He should have regained consciousness, but he hasn’t yet.”

Gackt froze. “He hasn’t woken up yet?” he echoed.

The nurse shook her head. “No. There’s a chance that he will never open his eyes again. I need you to come in and talk to him. You seem to be a close friend; maybe your voice will bring him back. It’s unorthodox, but this method has worked before.”

“Take me to him.” Gackt left Jun-ji outside and followed the nurse back into the hospital. She led him to the cot where You lay, reminding him of the time he’d come to visit You in the hospital after he’d been shot in the arm. Why was it You who kept getting hurt? Why not him? You wasn’t supposed to be here. He’d never been stupid enough to want to go to war, but had enlisted because of Gackt.

“I need to see to other patients, but call for me if there’s any change in his condition. My name is Aya.”

Gackt nodded and sat down on the edge of You’s cot, looking down at him. His chest was bandaged and his eyes were closed, seeming to be in a peaceful sleep instead of a drug-induced coma. Gackt took his hand and clutched it tightly. He’d heard the stories of anesthesia going wrong, how some patients never woke up… but had never expected it to happen to You. Again, he wondered why it was You who had to endure all of this. He deserved better.

“You… open your eyes. Come on, you need to wake up. You can’t leave me alone.”

There was no reaction.

Gackt tightened his grip on You’s hand and brushed his hair back from his face. “Don’t you remember what I said to you earlier? I told you I’d hate you forever if you left me. I meant it, You. I need you with me. I need you like I need air. I can’t imagine a world without you.” You was the most important person in his life and there would be a void without him. You was like what Tetsu had been to Hyde, although he loved You as a friend and not a lover. “So you have to wake up. I promised you dinner and dessert for the rest of our lives if you could make it through this, and I meant it. You know I did. How can I share that with you if you’re not here?”

Still no reaction.

Gackt refused to give up though and started to talk about their life together. The first time they’d met, how they’d fought but eventually became the best of friends. How You had spent his Christmas with him when they were teenagers because Gackt had spent the whole day at the train station waiting for a girl that never came. The evenings where they would play guitar or violin together and talk about music and their favorite bands. How those peaceful nights became fewer and fewer because Gackt’s thoughts had turned to war and he’d wanted to become a soldier. How You wouldn’t let him join the army without him and how he’d enlisted with him so that he could continue to be with Gackt every day. Just like he had been for so many years.

“We’ve shared so much together… you can’t leave me, You.” The soldier froze as You’s fingers twitched. It was the first movement You had made since he’d come here. Encouraged, Gackt started talking again. “I won’t be the only person you hurt if you never open your eyes. Think of Jun-ji and Chacha, the rest of your friends in our unit. You’re important to all of us and you know it. Think about your parents, You. Your mother cried so hard the day we said goodbye to her and she didn’t want you to leave. She writes you letters constantly, and I know how much you miss her. You’ll be responsible for her tears if you don’t wake up. Don’t make your mother lose her only son.” He watched You as he spoke, noticing the slight movements. You was in there somewhere, he just needed to wake up.

“Come on, You. Open your eyes. I know you can hear everything I’m saying.” Gackt clutched You’s hands in his. “All you have to do is wake up. Open your eyes and talk to me. Let me know that you’re going to be all right.” You stirred again and relief flooded through Gackt as the soldier’s eyes slowly flickered open.

“Gackt?” You looked confused. “What happened? Why are you here?”

“The nurse put you under anesthesia so she could remove the bullet, but you didn’t wake up after the surgery. She said there was a chance that you would never open your eyes again so she sent me in to talk to you.”

You nodded. “I could hear you. All I wanted to do was to tell you that I was still here, but I couldn’t answer or open my eyes. I felt like I was trapped in my own body.”

Gackt leaned down to hug him, careful not to hurt him. “I’m just glad you’re awake.” He held You closer. “You know I’m only going to worry about you even more.”

“I’d call you a bad friend if you didn’t worry about me.” You laughed softly as he returned the embrace. Gackt felt the tension leave his body at the sound of You’s laugh. He’d been so worried that he’d never be able to hug You or hear his voice again.

“How are you feeling?”

“Sore and a little tired still.” You pulled away from the embrace and adjusted his pillow, frowning as he touched the bandage wrapped around his chest. “I must have turned at the last minute when we were out there… otherwise I’d be dead.” He smiled a little. “I was just thinking that I have bad luck in war, but I’ve been shot twice and I’m still alive so that must mean something.”

“You, I’m so sorry. You were hurt because of me. If I hadn’t wanted to go to war, none of this would have happened.”

You smacked him over the head. “Don’t talk like that! I knew you’d blame yourself. It’s not your fault and don’t you ever say that again. I followed you into war because I wanted to. It was an unfortunate chance that I got shot, but it’s not your fault. It could have happened to anyone and all that matters is that I’m still here. So don’t blame yourself.” You’s voice softened. “And don’t look so worried. I’m tougher than this and you know it.”

“I do.” Gackt smiled faintly. “I guess I owe you dinner and dessert for a long time.”

“You do,” You laughed, wincing a little and rubbing his chest.

Gackt reluctantly stood. “I need to tell Aya you’ve woken up.” He didn’t want to leave You, but Aya would need to see him.

“All right.”

Gackt looked for the nurse and found her changing another soldier’s bandages. He approached her and waited until she’d finished bandaging the man’s arm before speaking. “You is awake.”

“He is?” Aya smiled. “Good. Words are just as powerful as the guns you soldiers use. There’s always a chance that words can save a life.” She stripped off her bloody gloves and pulled on a clean pair. “Wait outside with your friend and I’ll come get you again once I’ve seen to You.”

Gackt looked over at You again and had a wild moment where he considered deserting. He would take You with him and they would leave this station. He would go back to their previous post and finish helping Hyde. He’d be able to spend more time with the ghost if he wasn’t a soldier since he wouldn’t have to report for training or be sent into combat zones to fight. And once Hyde had finally left this world, they could go home. Gackt discarded the idea immediately. You would never dishonor himself by quitting and he would be angry at Gackt for suggesting that they desert the army. Instead, they would stay in this war and they would keep fighting until their side had won the war and they were free to go home. Only then would they leave, and only after Hyde had moved on.

*   *   *

“It’s good to be back,” Gackt said, more to himself than to You and Jun-ji who were with him. They had defeated the enemy soldiers in the north and had been stationed back here again due to the increasing amount of enemy soldiers in the forest. He was worried about Hyde and his grave, but knew the ghost would defend his final resting place.

“It is,” Jun-ji agreed. “I like how we’re close to a town again. I feel like I’m going to lose my mind when I’m stuck on base all day.”

You was the only one who didn’t chime in with an opinion, giving Gackt a look instead. He didn’t need his friend to speak to know what he was thinking. Stay away from Hyde. You had hoped that the new station would clear the ghost from Gackt’s mind, and in some ways it had since You had been shot and Gackt had focused on him and the war instead of Hyde. Once You’s wound had healed, his thoughts of Hyde had returned. As time dragged on, he’d begun to feel restless and the ghost was constantly in his thoughts. You’s injury had distracted him, but he’d never been able to forget Hyde entirely and had eagerly awaited the day he would get transferred back to this station.

“What do you think, You?” Jun-ji asked him.

You shrugged. “The location is better here, but it’s just another base.”

Gackt didn’t correct him even though he knew that You enjoyed the proximity of the town. This could have been a good station, but Hyde had spoiled the station in You’s eyes. Even though he’d been shot and could have died, he preferred their previous post because it had gotten Gackt away from the ghost.

“I’d better go unpack. I’ll see you at training,” Jun-ji waved and shouldered his bag, heading towards the tents to settle in to their new home.

Gackt looked towards the forest, knowing he’d have time to go and visit Hyde before he had to report for training and receive his new orders.

You grabbed Gackt’s arm as he turned to go. “I know what you’re going to do.”

The soldier pulled his arm free. “It’s been a month since I last saw him, You. He’s probably worried about me and I want to see him again.”

You frowned. “I thought the move would make you forget about that ghost.”

Gackt laughed. “You know me better than that. Change doesn’t make me forget, and you know I could never forget Hyde. I’m going to see him whether you like it or not.”

“I’m coming with you.”

Gackt was caught off guard. “You are?” He’d already accepted the fact that bringing You to Hyde’s grave was nothing but a far-fetched fantasy. You had made up his mind about Hyde and would never see the ghost… or so he believed.

“Yes. I can’t see him, but I want to go to his grave and see what you’re so obsessed about. So don’t even think of leaving without me.”

“I won’t.” Gackt picked up his bag. “Let’s put our things away first.”

“All right.” You slung his bag over his shoulder and they walked down to the tents. They selected two next to each other and set their bags inside. Gackt didn’t bother with unpacking since he just wanted to see Hyde again and there would be time for unpacking after tonight’s training session.

“Let’s go.” Gackt led the way into the forest, keeping silent throughout the walk since neither wanted to risk drawing the attention of enemy soldiers. Despite their rising numbers, they didn’t see a single soldier and the walk to Hyde’s grave was peaceful. Gackt stepped into the clearing, noticing that little had changed in the month that he’d been gone. The weeping willow was brushing against the grave like tears again and some leaves had fallen around the grave, but that was all.

“Is he here?” You asked.

Gackt shook his head. “No, but he’ll come soon. He’s never far from his grave.” He brushed the willow leaves away from the stone. “Hyde? Where are you?” There was silence for a few moments, and he turned around as he heard You’s sharp intake of breath. The soldier’s eyes had gone wide and he stumbled back in shock, raising a trembling hand to point at the ghost that had just appeared at Gackt’s side.

“Gackt!” Hyde beamed, his initial surprise fading to happiness at seeing him. “I’ve missed your company.”

“Gackt, what’s going on? How can I see him?” You asked, voice shaking.

Gackt frowned as he studied You. He hadn’t expected this to happen and wouldn’t have chosen this for him since seeing spirits was a difficult ability to live with, even though part of him was happy since he wouldn’t have to bear this sight alone. “I don’t know, but I have a theory. I believe our sight is triggered by near death experiences. I’ve been able to see spirits ever since I almost drowned in the sea. You could have died from the anesthesia. Perhaps our ability comes from death in general. We’ve fought and killed and watched so many men die during this war.”

“You must be You,” Hyde studied him, looking curious. “I didn’t know you could see spirits.”

“I have never seen a ghost before.” You turned away from Hyde and took several calming breaths, still struggling with the realization that he could see the dead. Gackt wondered if it would be best to leave with You and come back another day.

“Gackt has told me that you’ve judged me based on what I’ve done to my murderers. They would have murdered others like Tetsu and I if they had found them. Is it so wrong to kill these men? They stole everything from me on my wedding night and because of them I have haunted this clearing for the last sixty years.” Hyde’s eyes narrowed. “You have killed more men than I have in this war, so should I hate you for this? Should I call you a murderer because the only reason you kill is because these men serve another?”

Again, You looked shocked, but bowed his head. “I… you’re right. I’m sorry I’ve judged you so harshly, but I’m worried for Gackt’s safety.”

Hyde frowned. “I would never hurt Gackt.”

The soldier looked at You. His apology had been sincere, but Gackt knew that his friend was still skeptical that Hyde wouldn’t somehow force him to stay with him. “I know that, Hyde, but it’s You we have to convince.”

“Do you believe me?” Hyde asked.

“I don’t know. Gackt’s told me how lonely you are, and I’m afraid you’re going to get too attached to him and decide you want to keep him with you forever.”

Hyde looked insulted. “Loneliness would not drive me to murder!”

Gackt sighed, knowing this wouldn’t end well. He’d hoped to make Hyde happy by bringing You to see him, but You had already made up his mind that the ghost could be dangerous. Hyde was now upset and offended that You thought him capable of killing Gackt. Bringing You had been a mistake.

“I’ll believe you as long as Gackt keeps coming back to me.”

“Don’t lie. You’re never going to believe me,” Hyde said shortly. He crossed his arms over his chest and Gackt could feel the clearing becoming colder. It was time to leave. He didn’t want You to risk angering the ghost further.

“We should go back to base. I’m sorry, Hyde… I’ll come back soon with flowers and incense for your grave.”

The ghost scowled. “Come alone next time. I don’t want to be accused of crimes I would never commit.”

“I will. Let’s go, You.” He left the clearing with You and glanced back over his shoulder. Hyde was still by his grave and frost was creeping up the stone. Gackt raised a hand in farewell and resolved to stay with Hyde longer the next time he came here. He owed it to him after how much You had hurt him. Gackt waited until they were far enough away that Hyde wouldn’t be able to hear them before turning on You. “Why did you come with accusations? I thought you wanted to meet him, not insult him!”

“I want to make sure he’s not going to rip your soul out the next time he sees you!” You replied, frowning as he glanced back. “You shouldn’t see him again. He had this… strange look when we were talking. It was a possessive look, Gackt. Hyde doesn’t want to share your company with anyone else. Especially not me.”

Gackt shook his head. “Stop turning him into a villain, You. Hyde isn’t possessive of me and I’ve told you a thousand times that he’s just lonely. Why won’t you believe me? Hyde is a gentle spirit. If he was as horrible as you think he is, you’d be dead for insulting him.”

“He’s gentle for now, but how do you know he will be forever?”

Gackt sighed. “You… stop.”

“Hyde’s dead, Gackt. You need to focus on the living instead of spending so much time and energy on a ghost.”

“You’ve said this already.”

“I know I have. I’m repeating myself because you’re scaring me. You’re obsessed with Hyde. He’s all you’ve talked about for the last two weeks. And don’t forget what you did in town when we were stationed here before. You didn’t go to town to have fun like you normally would. All you wanted to do was to go to the cemetery or the records room. There’s more to life than helping one ghost and you know it. So why are you doing all this?”

Gackt sighed, wishing he wouldn’t have to keep explaining his actions. “I want to help him. Hyde’s so lonely… I want him to move on and reunite with his friends and family in the next world, or be reincarnated and have a new life with a new love. Someone who will stay with him instead of abandoning him after a few years.”

“But why does it matter to you? You’re not a ghost’s nursemaid. Hyde can take care of himself.”

Gackt frowned. “I’m doing this because no one else will help him. How would you feel if it were you? Would you want to spend the rest of your afterlife trapped here, alone and miserable because everyone you ever loved has died or abandoned you?”

“Well, no…”

“That’s my reason. I’m helping Hyde because it’s the right thing to do. It’s something I have to do.” Gackt smiled sadly as he thought of another conversation with those same words, when he’d told his parents that he was enlisting in the army. “Just like I felt I had to go to war.”

“I hope you won’t regret your choice to help Hyde like you regret going to war.”

“I won’t regret helping Hyde.” War had made killers of him and You and put the both of them in danger. You had been shot twice because of Gackt’s desire to go to war, but with Hyde there was no need to kill and his life wasn’t in danger. Helping Hyde was a good thing. Gackt would give Hyde’s soul the peace he deserved, and he could never regret helping the ghost rest in peace.

Current Music: My Chemical Romance - Ghost of You

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

tamaaki-kaer1.livejournal.com

Thank you for posting this~! I was down and needed some pick me up, and this fic literally made my day :')

As usual, great characterization, love the good-hearted Gackt and 'bitchy' hyde. :P You, stop doubting Hyde alreadyy. >__<

Couldn't wait for next chapter~

From:

A Soldier's Dream: 8/12

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