A Soldier's Dream: 9/12
Nov. 8th, 2011 03:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
write_my_dreamsTitle: A Soldier's Dream
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
write_my_dreams
Pairing: Gackt x Hyde (Dream only: Tetsu x Hyde)
Genre: AU, some action and fluff
Warning/Disclaimer: Nothing to warn about. All I own is the writing.
Rating: PG
Chapters: 9/12
Summary: After guest starring for VAMPS, the costumes Gackt and Hyde wore haunt Gackt in his sleep and inspire a vivid dream.
Author's Comment: I'd hoped to have this out last week, but I had more trouble with the editing than I thought I would. Will try to get Chapter 10 out soon.
Gackt entered Hyde’s clearing and saw the ghost seated under the weeping willow with his back to him, watching the wind rustling the branches. “Hyde?” Gackt called hesitantly, wondering if Hyde was angry at him for bringing You to the clearing yesterday.
The ghost kept his eyes on the tree. “Are you alone?”
“Yes. I’m so sorry about You… I had no idea he would speak to you so coldly.”
Finally, Hyde turned to face him. Gackt could tell that he was still hurting from You’s criticism and hoped he’d be able to put a smile back on the ghost’s face. “His words hurt me greatly and I have no desire to see him ever again. Tell him that he is not welcome in my clearing.”
“I’ll let him know.” Gackt laid a handful of blue flowers at Hyde’s grave. He’d found them on his way here and wanted to give them to Hyde as an apology for bringing You here. “Again, I’m sorry for what You said to you.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Still, he hurt you.” Gackt joined Hyde beneath the tree and set his gun down next to him. “We were supposed to have a happy reunion yesterday. I didn’t expect You to be so cold.”
“I didn’t expect it either,” Hyde sighed.
“I promise I won’t bring him here again.”
“Good.”
Gackt changed the subject. “I worried about you when I was away.”
Hyde looked surprised. “You did?”
“I knew you’d be lonely again, and I was afraid that the soldiers would find this clearing. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
Hyde smiled. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m the one who worries daily about you. A soldier’s life is so dangerous I never know if you’re going to come back to me or if I’ll never see you again.”
“I’ve been all right so far.” Gackt knew he was very lucky that he was still alive.
“Still, I worry every day. But I’m glad you came back today. I’ve gotten so used to your company that it’s hard to be alone.”
“I wish I could spend more time with you so you wouldn’t have to be so lonely.”
“I wish you could too, but I’ll take the time I have with you. An hour or so of company is better than none at all.”
“Yes, I suppose so.” Gackt wondered if it would be harder to have company for such a brief part of the day and then spend the rest of the day alone, missing that person’s company and the sound of another’s voice.
“What was life at your new station like?” Hyde asked. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you… I want to know what’s happened in the month that you’ve been gone.”
“It was very different from here.”
“Did you enjoy it there?”
Gackt shook his head. “That station opened my eyes to reality.”
“What do you mean?”
“When I first came to this station, my unit was deployed into the forest constantly to fight and take down enemy soldiers… but as time went on, I had to do this less and less often. It felt like I wasn’t in a war anymore or as if the war had been won. I realized how wrong I was when I went to my new post. Two days after my unit got there, we were sent out to fight.” Gackt looked down at his gun with a heavy sigh. “I was in combat for most of the days I was there. We were sent out to fight in various parts of the forest. Sometimes it was a sneak attack, a full on assault, and other times it was a shoot off with only an earthen barrier to protect us from being shot.”
“Did you kill a lot of men?”
“Yes,” Gackt said softly. He’d lost track of how many had died at his hands.
“Is that why you look so tired?”
“Tired?”
Hyde nodded. “You look as if you haven’t slept well in some time.”
Gackt sighed again. “I’ve had a hard time sleeping ever since my first battle. So many of my dreams are drenched in blood… I have nightmares where I’m watching my friends die.” He winced as he remembered a particularly graphic one he’d had the night after You had been shot. “The men I’ve killed parade through my nightmares and sometimes I’m killing them, watching them die again. Other times I’m running from them because they want to kill me in revenge for taking their lives.” Gackt shivered as he remembered the feeling of the phantom hands clawing at his uniform, pulling him down so others could kill him.
“Oh, Gackt… do you often dream of them chasing you?”
“Not always, thankfully. The dreams are always the worst after a battle.” Gackt looked down at his hands, wondering why he couldn’t see blood on them despite the fact that these hands had taken so many lives. “You were right when you said You was a murderer. I am too. Every soldier is, even though we try to say otherwise. We defend our actions by saying that what we’re doing is out of service to our country, that it’s not really murder if it’s done during war… but everyone’s wrong. I am a murderer. The only difference between me and a common killer is that my crimes are accepted because I wear a soldier’s uniform.”
Hyde frowned and reached out to touch him, startling Gackt with the gesture since he’d never attempted to do this before. He shivered as the ghost’s fingers passed through his shoulder. He felt like he’d just had a bucket of ice water thrown over him, but appreciated the action nonetheless. “You’re too good to be in this war.”
“No I’m not.”
“You are, even though you don’t see it.”
Gackt shook his head. “I joined this war because I wanted to and dragged my friends along with me.”
Hyde tilted his head and studied his face. “What happened in that station? Something’s troubling you.”
“A week after I got there, You was shot in the chest. It happened when he was right next to me. One minute he was fine, the next he was bleeding and in pain. This is the second time I’ve watched him get shot and I can’t bear to see it a third time. I was able to get You to the hospital in time, but the bullet was still inside him and the nurse had to do surgery to get it out. I thought he’d be fine, but he didn’t wake up from the anesthesia when he should have.”
“I remember you telling him that he could have died from the anesthesia. What happened to him?” Hyde, despite not liking You, was curious.
“I sat with him and talked about us, his family, and his life until he finally opened his eyes. He said he’d been able to hear me, but couldn’t move at all to show me that he was still in there.” You’s lifeless form was another scene that haunted his nightmares. In the dreams he sat and talked to You for what felt like hours, but was never able to get through to him and the dream usually ended with You flat lining. “I was so afraid. I thought he’d never open his eyes again.” Gackt smiled sadly. “I’m sorry you’ve only seen a cold side to him. I wish you could have met him in other situations… You worries a lot, but he’s very kind and loves to take pictures. He’s taken so many beautiful pictures in the years I’ve known him. He should be a photographer instead of a soldier. I wish I could show you them, but I don’t have any photos with me and he hasn’t taken a picture since we joined the army.”
“I’m sure it’s much easier to take a photograph now than it is when I was alive.”
Gackt chuckled. “It’s much easier. If You and I had been alive when you and Tetsu were, I think we all would have been good friends. We all love so music so much and have similar interests.”
“I remember you telling me about You before you left for your new station. He sounds like he’s a good friend.” Hyde looked annoyed as he smoothed his skirt. “He’s cold out of concern for you, but that’s no excuse for him to be unnecessarily cruel to me.”
“I know.” Gackt reached out to Hyde, knowing his fingers would only pass through his skin instead of touching his hand. He felt nothing but an icy chill, but the gesture made Hyde smile anyway. “I considered deserting the army after I knew that You was going to be all right. It’s the first time I’ve thought that and until now, I haven’t told anyone… and I’ll never tell anyone but you. It’ll be our secret.”
Hyde looked touched. “Thank you for your trust. Was You the reason you considered deserting?”
“He’s part of it. I feel responsible for his injuries because he wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t wanted to go to war. I’m always afraid I’m going to lose him and I never want to see him unconscious on a surgeon’s table ever again. If You and I weren’t in the army anymore, I wouldn’t have to worry about his life since we’d both be safe and wouldn’t have to go to war again. As I said, You is part of the reason I considered deserting, but so are you, Hyde.”
The ghost was caught off guard. “I am?”
“Yes. I can’t spend as much time with you as I would like. If I had my way, I’d spend all day with you so I could keep you company… but I can’t. If I wasn’t in the army, I’d be free to spend my days with you and I could go to Mayfield to find out what happened to Tetsu. But I can’t.” Gackt let out a frustrated sigh. “I only had those thoughts for a moment before I squashed them down. As tempting as deserting is, I’d hate myself if I abandoned my comrades. I know You would too so I’ll never voice my feelings to him.”
“I’m happy that you would have stayed with me, but you’re right. You would only regret your decision to leave the army since you would lose your honor. I can tell that honor is important to you.”
Gackt nodded. “It is.”
“How much longer can you stay with me today?”
“Not much longer, unfortunately. I skipped training to come here and my absence won’t be overlooked.”
Hyde frowned. “Gackt, I don’t want you to get in trouble just to visit me.”
“It was the only way I could come.” Gackt picked up his gun and stood. “I don’t know when my next free day will be, but I promise I’ll come here and spend all of it with you.”
“I’ll be waiting for you. Take care of yourself.”
“I will.” Gackt waved to Hyde and left the clearing, grateful that the ghost had been happy to see him again and that yesterday’s disastrous meeting with You hadn’t affected their relationship.
* * *
Gackt wasn’t able to slip out and see Hyde for another four days. Between fighting, training, and meetings to discuss tactics there was no time to see Hyde. He’d also been punished for missing training and had to attend extra training sessions for the next week – filling the time he would have taken to see Hyde.
Finally, Gackt had a day where he could visit the ghost, although he wished the circumstances were different. His unit had been sent into the trees after dawn and had quickly lost control of the battle since the enemy soldiers had the advantage of higher ground and more numbers, making it all too easy to pick off men from his unit. They’d held their ground for as long as they could before they’d had to fall back and return to base. It’d been one of their worst defeats yet. Too many men had died that day, and Gackt knew that he would see their faces in his dreams tonight.
After attending the ceremony for the dead, Gackt had found himself with the rare luxury of free time. Nothing was required of him until afternoon training and the tactics meeting afterwards, giving him a few hours to be with Hyde. Part of him felt guilty for leaving his comrades after today’s defeat, but the rest of him just wanted to see Hyde again and take comfort in the ghost’s presence. He armed himself and left the base, instincts on high alert as he travelled towards Hyde’s grave. It was becoming more dangerous to wander the forest, but he wasn’t going to abandon the ghost. He’d also begun to reach the point where seeing Hyde was the only time he felt truly happy. The war and the lives he’d taken were weighing him down. It was hard to talk about normal things with You and even harder to laugh at Jun-ji’s silly jokes. You had noticed he wasn’t being his usual self, but there was little he could do since he was having his own troubles with the war.
Gackt started walking faster as he remembered a scene from yesterday’s nightmare. Hyde’s clearing had been burning and the gravestone had been destroyed, making it impossible for him to communicate with Hyde. That nightmare was becoming more common and every time it haunted his dreams he just wanted to rush to Hyde and ensure that the ghost was all right.
Distracted by thoughts of Hyde, the soldier didn’t notice the change in terrain and tripped over a root. He dropped his gun as he fell, hissing in pain as he propped himself up on one elbow. Gackt froze as he looked up and saw an enemy soldier standing over him with his gun pointed at him. Gackt’s hand shot towards his weapon, but the man fired a warning shot near his hand.
“I’ll put a bullet through your head if you touch your gun,” the soldier said. He stepped closer and kicked the weapon away from Gackt, keeping the gun trained on him the entire time. He braced himself for the pain of the bullet as he looked up at the man who would kill him. All he felt was regret as he looked death in the eyes. He would die before he could finish helping Hyde. He wouldn’t talk with Jun-ji or play guitar with You ever again. He wouldn’t see his family, wouldn’t treat You to the lifetime of dinner and desserts that he’d promised him. Gackt flinched at the sound of a gunshot, frowning as he didn’t feel any pain. He looked down and didn’t see any blood on his uniform. Had it been another warning shot? He raised his gaze just in time to watch the soldier fall to the ground. He was dead. Gackt glanced over his shoulder and saw a furious You glaring down at him.
“What the hell were you thinking?!” he grabbed the back of Gackt’s uniform and pulled him up to his feet. “You weren’t even paying attention! The soldier was behind a tree and you would have seen him if your head hadn’t been up in the clouds.”
Gackt winced at the words as he picked up his gun. You was right. “I was distracted.”
“Obviously! You would be dead if I hadn’t followed you.”
“I know. I’m grateful to you for saving me, but why are you here?”
“I saw you leaving base and followed you. You’re going to see that ghost, aren’t you?”
“I’m seeing Hyde.”
“You were thinking about him on the way here,” You said, frowning as he looked at Gackt. “He’s the reason you were so distracted.”
“I’m worried about him, You. You know what I dreamed about.”
You shook his head and grasped Gackt’s wrist. “We’re going back to base now. At first, I was fine with helping you find information on Hyde… but you’ve taken this too far. You’re putting yourself in danger every time you go to see him. It isn’t safe for you to be out here alone and you’re going to get yourself killed if you aren’t careful. Then I’ll have to help your lingering ghost.”
Gackt frowned and pulled away from You. “I’ll go back to base after I’ve seen Hyde.”
“You need to be around men whose heads aren’t filled with thoughts of ghosts! I refuse to watch you die because you’re obsessed with a dead man. We’re going back to base and I refuse to take no for an answer.”
“I’ll be more careful.” Gackt started walking in the direction of the grave again, too stubborn to back down. You was only concerned, but his behavior was ridiculous. Yes it had been stupid and reckless to daydream about Hyde when he was in the forest instead of being on alert for enemy soldiers, but that had only been a careless mistake that he wouldn’t repeat again.
“There’s no time for you to see Hyde. Our entire unit has been called for a mandatory meeting.”
Gackt paused. “For what?” Were they being sent out again? Or transferred to another station? He could only hope not.
You shrugged. “I don’t know. The meeting starts in half an hour so we’ll be able to make it in time if we leave now.”
“I had to see Hyde again after you insulted him.” And because he makes me happy.
“He’s a ghost, Gackt! Why don’t you play cards with Jun-ji and Chacha for once instead of chasing after a ghost?”
“And why don’t you let me do what I want and trust Hyde for once?” Gackt snapped, lowering his voice as he realized how loud their argument had become. They didn’t want to attract attention to themselves.
“Because you’re being absurd,” You said shortly as he turned back the way he’d come. “I’m not going to watch you destroy yourself.”
“Stop talking like that! I’ve never hurt while I’ve been with Hyde.”
“You would be dead if I hadn’t been here. Now come on, we need to get back to base.” You glanced back when Gackt didn’t move. “You can’t afford to miss this meeting, Gackt. You already have extra training sessions for missing once… if you miss a meeting, I have no idea what will happen to you, but you could lose your privileges.”
It killed him to lose what could have been hours spent with Hyde, but Gackt followed You since he was right. There was no place in the army for a disobedient soldier. Both of them were on their guard as they headed back to base, guns clasped in their hands and ready to fire at a moment’s notice should they need to. Aside from that one soldier, they didn’t see anyone and the walk back to base was peaceful. Upon reaching base, they left their guns in their tents and went to the center of the base where the men had already gathered for the meeting. Chacha gave them both a dark look as they took seats at the back, eyes promising to deal with their tardiness later.
“We’ve just received new orders. We leave this base tomorrow… two other units will be replacing our men here so we don’t lose the fight for this forest. Our new task is to protect the capital.”
Gackt froze. They were leaving? But they’d just gotten here!
“Good,” You muttered. “You can’t chase after a ghost if you’re not here.”
Gackt couldn’t believe it. They’d been at this station for less than a week and were already leaving. He sat up straighter as he realized something. The capital was very close to Mayfield. He’d be able to find out Tetsu’s side of the story there.
“The move is only temporary though,” Chacha said. “Don’t get too comfortable there.”
Only temporary… good. He’d be able to find out what had happened to Tetsu, bring his findings to Hyde, and finally free him from the clearing. This move wouldn’t be as horrible as he’d thought it would be.
* * *
Gackt slipped out of his tent in the early morning and looked around to see if anyone would notice him leaving. He seemed to be the only one awake, but checked in on You just in case. He was most concerned that You would notice him leaving since he would try to stop him from seeing Hyde. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw You fast asleep on his cot. He hadn’t wanted to argue with You again since he couldn’t miss his only chance to see Hyde. His unit was leaving today and he couldn’t depart without saying goodbye to the ghost. Chacha had said that this move was only temporary, but it could be weeks before he returned to visit Hyde again and didn’t want the ghost to spend the time worrying about him and thinking he was dead since he’d never returned.
The soldier pushed thoughts of Hyde aside as he left the safety of the base. He concentrated on his surroundings, constantly watching out for enemy soldiers and using the trees as protection since he’d learned his lesson yesterday. You wasn’t here to save him again if he lost himself in his own world and put himself in danger. Fortunately, Gackt encountered no one on his way to the grave. Hyde was waiting for him in the clearing, face lighting up as he saw him.
“Gackt! I thought you would have come to see me earlier.”
“I tried to go yesterday, but there were complications.” Gackt joined him at the gravestone and studied the ghost. He’d never expected that Hyde would find a place in his heart, but he had. He’d assumed that he would simply help the ghost so he could move on then resume the life he’d led before meeting Hyde and focus on the war. During their time together, Hyde had changed from someone he pitied and wanted to help to being a friend. Gackt would truly miss the ghost when he finally left this world behind and comforted himself with the knowledge that Hyde would be far happier when he wasn’t trapped here.
“It’s all right. All that matters is that you’re here now,” Hyde said, looking so happy that Gackt almost considered lying to him and telling him he would be back to see him soon. He immediately discarded that thought since that would be selfish. Hyde needed to know that he wouldn’t be here for some time. As much as he hated to be the bearer of ill news, it was better to tell an unpleasant truth than to lie and cause Hyde more pain when he didn’t return.
“Hyde… I have bad news. My unit is being moved to the capital.”
The bright smile faded. “But you just got here.”
“I know. I felt the same thing, but Chacha said the move is only temporary and that we shouldn’t get too comfortable in the capital.”
“How long is temporary?”
“I don’t know,” Gackt said sadly. “There’s one good thing about this transfer though. Mayfield is close to the capital so I’ll be able to go there and find out what happened to Tetsu.”
The ghost’s eyes widened. “Tet-chan…”
“I believe Tetsu is the key to your freedom and if you can find out what happened to him, you’ll be able to move on.”
“Yes, I think so too.” Hyde reached for Gackt as he’d done before, looking frustrated when his fingers once again slipped through his shoulder. “Be careful.”
Gackt suppressed a shiver at the icy sensation. “I promise I will.”
“Do you have to go now?” Hyde asked.
“I do. I’m so sorry I’m leaving you again and that I couldn’t stay with you for very long today.” Their meetings were always so rushed and he felt terrible that he couldn’t properly keep Hyde company.
“It’s not your fault.” The ghost stood and brushed his hair back. “I won’t see you for some time after this so I’ll walk you to the edge of the forest.”
Gackt was surprised by the offer since Hyde had never done something like this before. He’d changed so much from the aloof, lonely spirit he’d been when they first met. It made Gackt happy to see that Hyde was friendlier, more affectionate, and that those once rare smiles were frequent now. “Thank you. I appreciate the company.” He picked up his gun and looked at the ghost. “Hyde, can you sense when someone is nearby? Whenever I come to this clearing and you aren’t here all I have to do is call and you appear.”
“I can tell when someone is in this clearing, but it doesn’t work like that for the rest of the forest. I never know when you’re going to visit me until I feel you in my clearing.” Hyde sighed again. “I wish I could sense your presence at all times. Then I’d always know that you’re still alive and be able to tell when you’re coming to see me.”
“At least you can sense my presence sometimes.” Gackt left the clearing with Hyde, automatically setting a slower pace since the ghost was smaller and had shorter legs.
Hyde chuckled. “I’m dead, Gackt. You don’t need to walk slowly for my sake.”
Gackt felt a little embarrassed as he resumed his normal pace. “I know.” Speed didn’t matter to a ghost.
“Have you encountered enemy soldiers when you come to visit me?” Hyde asked. “I see so many of them when I wander through the forest.”
“Yesterday was the first time I saw one. I wasn’t careful so it was my own fault that I endangered myself.”
Hyde looked alarmed. “What happened?”
“I was thinking about you and wasn’t aware of the world around me. I tripped over a tree root and found myself staring down the barrel of an enemy soldier’s gun.”
“Gackt! Don’t think about me so much that you endanger yourself. Did you kill him?”
“No, You did. He’d followed me and shot the soldier before he could kill me. He saved my life… I wouldn’t be here today if it hadn’t been for him.”
“It’s a good thing he followed you then.”
“Yes, I’m very lucky.” Gackt didn’t tell Hyde about their argument and how You had been determined to stop him from seeing the ghost. “There will be two other units taking the place of mine later today. You never know, one might be able to see spirits and can keep you company in my absence.”
Hyde frowned. “I don’t want a strange soldier visiting me. You’re the only one I trust now.”
Gackt smiled. “Good, I don’t want to be replaced.”
“No one could ever replace you.”
“It’s the same for you.”
Hyde smiled back, but stopped and looked up at him. “If you see Tet-chan’s spirit in Mayfield, tell him I miss him and that I… I forgive him for marrying Ayana. Everyone needs to move on from a past relationship at some point, and I wouldn’t have wanted Tetsu to spend the rest of his life alone. If she loved him and took care of him, then I can be happy for them.”
“I’ll tell him,” Gackt promised.
“Thank you.”
“When did you forgive him? You were so angry when you found out he’d left,” Gackt said, remembering how Hyde’s pain had changed summer to winter in the clearing.
“I forgave him when you were gone. I realized Tetsu would have suffered if he’d been alone forever. I’m still angry at him for abandoning me, but I forgive him for falling in love again.”
“I’ll let him know.”
“If he’s still alive… will you tell him everything?”
“Of course, and I’ll find a way to bring him back with me so you can talk to him yourself.”
Hyde managed a smile. “I’d like that… but I don’t think he’s alive. I just have a feeling that he’s gone.”
“I feel the same.” He would look for Tetsu’s grave in Mayfield and if he couldn’t find it, he’d figure out whether Tetsu had died here of he’d moved again. If Tetsu had moved… no, he didn’t want to think about how impossible it would be to find him.
“If Tet-chan had children with Ayana, one of them could have stayed behind.”
“Let’s hope so.” Tetsu’s child could tell him about Tetsu and his reasons for leaving. They fell silent after that since they were nearing the place where he’d almost been killed yesterday. Conversing with Hyde, although pleasant, was distracting. The ghost understood his sudden silence and kept quiet as well so as not to disturb him.
All too soon, the edge of the forest came into view. Gackt stopped and looked at the ghost at his side. “Goodbye, Hyde. I’ll miss your company and your smiles.”
“I’ll miss yours too.” The ghost reached for him, hand hovering near his face but never brushing his skin. “Please don’t die out there.”
“I can’t die until I’ve helped you.” Gackt laid his hand over Hyde’s small, cold one and wished it was possible to touch him for real. He wanted to embrace the ghost, but would only slip right through him.
Hyde smiled bravely. “I’ll be waiting for you. Goodbye, Gackt. Take care of yourself and return to me alive and well.”
“I’ll do my best.” Gackt reluctantly turned away and started walking back to base. He glanced back over his shoulder and saw that Hyde was still standing where he’d left him, watching him go. Gackt raised a hand in farewell, smiling a little as Hyde returned the action. He was going to miss the ghost so much while he was gone. He faced forward again, determined to find what he needed in Mayfield so Hyde could finally move on.
Notes
1) The muses surprised me in this chapter and Gackt was more friendly with Hyde than I'd planned. When I first started writing this, I never intended for Gackt to have a big emotional connection with Hyde. He definitely does now so I might have to tinker with the planned ending for this story.
2) Also, I have some of chapter 10 written up in my notebook so that chapter should be easier to write since I already have part of it done. I'd really like to get Chapter 10 posted by this weekend, but we'll see if I can do it.
3) Only three more chapters left!
Author:
write_my_dreamsPairing: Gackt x Hyde (Dream only: Tetsu x Hyde)
Genre: AU, some action and fluff
Warning/Disclaimer: Nothing to warn about. All I own is the writing.
Rating: PG
Chapters: 9/12
Summary: After guest starring for VAMPS, the costumes Gackt and Hyde wore haunt Gackt in his sleep and inspire a vivid dream.
Author's Comment: I'd hoped to have this out last week, but I had more trouble with the editing than I thought I would. Will try to get Chapter 10 out soon.
Gackt entered Hyde’s clearing and saw the ghost seated under the weeping willow with his back to him, watching the wind rustling the branches. “Hyde?” Gackt called hesitantly, wondering if Hyde was angry at him for bringing You to the clearing yesterday.
The ghost kept his eyes on the tree. “Are you alone?”
“Yes. I’m so sorry about You… I had no idea he would speak to you so coldly.”
Finally, Hyde turned to face him. Gackt could tell that he was still hurting from You’s criticism and hoped he’d be able to put a smile back on the ghost’s face. “His words hurt me greatly and I have no desire to see him ever again. Tell him that he is not welcome in my clearing.”
“I’ll let him know.” Gackt laid a handful of blue flowers at Hyde’s grave. He’d found them on his way here and wanted to give them to Hyde as an apology for bringing You here. “Again, I’m sorry for what You said to you.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“Still, he hurt you.” Gackt joined Hyde beneath the tree and set his gun down next to him. “We were supposed to have a happy reunion yesterday. I didn’t expect You to be so cold.”
“I didn’t expect it either,” Hyde sighed.
“I promise I won’t bring him here again.”
“Good.”
Gackt changed the subject. “I worried about you when I was away.”
Hyde looked surprised. “You did?”
“I knew you’d be lonely again, and I was afraid that the soldiers would find this clearing. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
Hyde smiled. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m the one who worries daily about you. A soldier’s life is so dangerous I never know if you’re going to come back to me or if I’ll never see you again.”
“I’ve been all right so far.” Gackt knew he was very lucky that he was still alive.
“Still, I worry every day. But I’m glad you came back today. I’ve gotten so used to your company that it’s hard to be alone.”
“I wish I could spend more time with you so you wouldn’t have to be so lonely.”
“I wish you could too, but I’ll take the time I have with you. An hour or so of company is better than none at all.”
“Yes, I suppose so.” Gackt wondered if it would be harder to have company for such a brief part of the day and then spend the rest of the day alone, missing that person’s company and the sound of another’s voice.
“What was life at your new station like?” Hyde asked. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you… I want to know what’s happened in the month that you’ve been gone.”
“It was very different from here.”
“Did you enjoy it there?”
Gackt shook his head. “That station opened my eyes to reality.”
“What do you mean?”
“When I first came to this station, my unit was deployed into the forest constantly to fight and take down enemy soldiers… but as time went on, I had to do this less and less often. It felt like I wasn’t in a war anymore or as if the war had been won. I realized how wrong I was when I went to my new post. Two days after my unit got there, we were sent out to fight.” Gackt looked down at his gun with a heavy sigh. “I was in combat for most of the days I was there. We were sent out to fight in various parts of the forest. Sometimes it was a sneak attack, a full on assault, and other times it was a shoot off with only an earthen barrier to protect us from being shot.”
“Did you kill a lot of men?”
“Yes,” Gackt said softly. He’d lost track of how many had died at his hands.
“Is that why you look so tired?”
“Tired?”
Hyde nodded. “You look as if you haven’t slept well in some time.”
Gackt sighed again. “I’ve had a hard time sleeping ever since my first battle. So many of my dreams are drenched in blood… I have nightmares where I’m watching my friends die.” He winced as he remembered a particularly graphic one he’d had the night after You had been shot. “The men I’ve killed parade through my nightmares and sometimes I’m killing them, watching them die again. Other times I’m running from them because they want to kill me in revenge for taking their lives.” Gackt shivered as he remembered the feeling of the phantom hands clawing at his uniform, pulling him down so others could kill him.
“Oh, Gackt… do you often dream of them chasing you?”
“Not always, thankfully. The dreams are always the worst after a battle.” Gackt looked down at his hands, wondering why he couldn’t see blood on them despite the fact that these hands had taken so many lives. “You were right when you said You was a murderer. I am too. Every soldier is, even though we try to say otherwise. We defend our actions by saying that what we’re doing is out of service to our country, that it’s not really murder if it’s done during war… but everyone’s wrong. I am a murderer. The only difference between me and a common killer is that my crimes are accepted because I wear a soldier’s uniform.”
Hyde frowned and reached out to touch him, startling Gackt with the gesture since he’d never attempted to do this before. He shivered as the ghost’s fingers passed through his shoulder. He felt like he’d just had a bucket of ice water thrown over him, but appreciated the action nonetheless. “You’re too good to be in this war.”
“No I’m not.”
“You are, even though you don’t see it.”
Gackt shook his head. “I joined this war because I wanted to and dragged my friends along with me.”
Hyde tilted his head and studied his face. “What happened in that station? Something’s troubling you.”
“A week after I got there, You was shot in the chest. It happened when he was right next to me. One minute he was fine, the next he was bleeding and in pain. This is the second time I’ve watched him get shot and I can’t bear to see it a third time. I was able to get You to the hospital in time, but the bullet was still inside him and the nurse had to do surgery to get it out. I thought he’d be fine, but he didn’t wake up from the anesthesia when he should have.”
“I remember you telling him that he could have died from the anesthesia. What happened to him?” Hyde, despite not liking You, was curious.
“I sat with him and talked about us, his family, and his life until he finally opened his eyes. He said he’d been able to hear me, but couldn’t move at all to show me that he was still in there.” You’s lifeless form was another scene that haunted his nightmares. In the dreams he sat and talked to You for what felt like hours, but was never able to get through to him and the dream usually ended with You flat lining. “I was so afraid. I thought he’d never open his eyes again.” Gackt smiled sadly. “I’m sorry you’ve only seen a cold side to him. I wish you could have met him in other situations… You worries a lot, but he’s very kind and loves to take pictures. He’s taken so many beautiful pictures in the years I’ve known him. He should be a photographer instead of a soldier. I wish I could show you them, but I don’t have any photos with me and he hasn’t taken a picture since we joined the army.”
“I’m sure it’s much easier to take a photograph now than it is when I was alive.”
Gackt chuckled. “It’s much easier. If You and I had been alive when you and Tetsu were, I think we all would have been good friends. We all love so music so much and have similar interests.”
“I remember you telling me about You before you left for your new station. He sounds like he’s a good friend.” Hyde looked annoyed as he smoothed his skirt. “He’s cold out of concern for you, but that’s no excuse for him to be unnecessarily cruel to me.”
“I know.” Gackt reached out to Hyde, knowing his fingers would only pass through his skin instead of touching his hand. He felt nothing but an icy chill, but the gesture made Hyde smile anyway. “I considered deserting the army after I knew that You was going to be all right. It’s the first time I’ve thought that and until now, I haven’t told anyone… and I’ll never tell anyone but you. It’ll be our secret.”
Hyde looked touched. “Thank you for your trust. Was You the reason you considered deserting?”
“He’s part of it. I feel responsible for his injuries because he wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t wanted to go to war. I’m always afraid I’m going to lose him and I never want to see him unconscious on a surgeon’s table ever again. If You and I weren’t in the army anymore, I wouldn’t have to worry about his life since we’d both be safe and wouldn’t have to go to war again. As I said, You is part of the reason I considered deserting, but so are you, Hyde.”
The ghost was caught off guard. “I am?”
“Yes. I can’t spend as much time with you as I would like. If I had my way, I’d spend all day with you so I could keep you company… but I can’t. If I wasn’t in the army, I’d be free to spend my days with you and I could go to Mayfield to find out what happened to Tetsu. But I can’t.” Gackt let out a frustrated sigh. “I only had those thoughts for a moment before I squashed them down. As tempting as deserting is, I’d hate myself if I abandoned my comrades. I know You would too so I’ll never voice my feelings to him.”
“I’m happy that you would have stayed with me, but you’re right. You would only regret your decision to leave the army since you would lose your honor. I can tell that honor is important to you.”
Gackt nodded. “It is.”
“How much longer can you stay with me today?”
“Not much longer, unfortunately. I skipped training to come here and my absence won’t be overlooked.”
Hyde frowned. “Gackt, I don’t want you to get in trouble just to visit me.”
“It was the only way I could come.” Gackt picked up his gun and stood. “I don’t know when my next free day will be, but I promise I’ll come here and spend all of it with you.”
“I’ll be waiting for you. Take care of yourself.”
“I will.” Gackt waved to Hyde and left the clearing, grateful that the ghost had been happy to see him again and that yesterday’s disastrous meeting with You hadn’t affected their relationship.
* * *
Gackt wasn’t able to slip out and see Hyde for another four days. Between fighting, training, and meetings to discuss tactics there was no time to see Hyde. He’d also been punished for missing training and had to attend extra training sessions for the next week – filling the time he would have taken to see Hyde.
Finally, Gackt had a day where he could visit the ghost, although he wished the circumstances were different. His unit had been sent into the trees after dawn and had quickly lost control of the battle since the enemy soldiers had the advantage of higher ground and more numbers, making it all too easy to pick off men from his unit. They’d held their ground for as long as they could before they’d had to fall back and return to base. It’d been one of their worst defeats yet. Too many men had died that day, and Gackt knew that he would see their faces in his dreams tonight.
After attending the ceremony for the dead, Gackt had found himself with the rare luxury of free time. Nothing was required of him until afternoon training and the tactics meeting afterwards, giving him a few hours to be with Hyde. Part of him felt guilty for leaving his comrades after today’s defeat, but the rest of him just wanted to see Hyde again and take comfort in the ghost’s presence. He armed himself and left the base, instincts on high alert as he travelled towards Hyde’s grave. It was becoming more dangerous to wander the forest, but he wasn’t going to abandon the ghost. He’d also begun to reach the point where seeing Hyde was the only time he felt truly happy. The war and the lives he’d taken were weighing him down. It was hard to talk about normal things with You and even harder to laugh at Jun-ji’s silly jokes. You had noticed he wasn’t being his usual self, but there was little he could do since he was having his own troubles with the war.
Gackt started walking faster as he remembered a scene from yesterday’s nightmare. Hyde’s clearing had been burning and the gravestone had been destroyed, making it impossible for him to communicate with Hyde. That nightmare was becoming more common and every time it haunted his dreams he just wanted to rush to Hyde and ensure that the ghost was all right.
Distracted by thoughts of Hyde, the soldier didn’t notice the change in terrain and tripped over a root. He dropped his gun as he fell, hissing in pain as he propped himself up on one elbow. Gackt froze as he looked up and saw an enemy soldier standing over him with his gun pointed at him. Gackt’s hand shot towards his weapon, but the man fired a warning shot near his hand.
“I’ll put a bullet through your head if you touch your gun,” the soldier said. He stepped closer and kicked the weapon away from Gackt, keeping the gun trained on him the entire time. He braced himself for the pain of the bullet as he looked up at the man who would kill him. All he felt was regret as he looked death in the eyes. He would die before he could finish helping Hyde. He wouldn’t talk with Jun-ji or play guitar with You ever again. He wouldn’t see his family, wouldn’t treat You to the lifetime of dinner and desserts that he’d promised him. Gackt flinched at the sound of a gunshot, frowning as he didn’t feel any pain. He looked down and didn’t see any blood on his uniform. Had it been another warning shot? He raised his gaze just in time to watch the soldier fall to the ground. He was dead. Gackt glanced over his shoulder and saw a furious You glaring down at him.
“What the hell were you thinking?!” he grabbed the back of Gackt’s uniform and pulled him up to his feet. “You weren’t even paying attention! The soldier was behind a tree and you would have seen him if your head hadn’t been up in the clouds.”
Gackt winced at the words as he picked up his gun. You was right. “I was distracted.”
“Obviously! You would be dead if I hadn’t followed you.”
“I know. I’m grateful to you for saving me, but why are you here?”
“I saw you leaving base and followed you. You’re going to see that ghost, aren’t you?”
“I’m seeing Hyde.”
“You were thinking about him on the way here,” You said, frowning as he looked at Gackt. “He’s the reason you were so distracted.”
“I’m worried about him, You. You know what I dreamed about.”
You shook his head and grasped Gackt’s wrist. “We’re going back to base now. At first, I was fine with helping you find information on Hyde… but you’ve taken this too far. You’re putting yourself in danger every time you go to see him. It isn’t safe for you to be out here alone and you’re going to get yourself killed if you aren’t careful. Then I’ll have to help your lingering ghost.”
Gackt frowned and pulled away from You. “I’ll go back to base after I’ve seen Hyde.”
“You need to be around men whose heads aren’t filled with thoughts of ghosts! I refuse to watch you die because you’re obsessed with a dead man. We’re going back to base and I refuse to take no for an answer.”
“I’ll be more careful.” Gackt started walking in the direction of the grave again, too stubborn to back down. You was only concerned, but his behavior was ridiculous. Yes it had been stupid and reckless to daydream about Hyde when he was in the forest instead of being on alert for enemy soldiers, but that had only been a careless mistake that he wouldn’t repeat again.
“There’s no time for you to see Hyde. Our entire unit has been called for a mandatory meeting.”
Gackt paused. “For what?” Were they being sent out again? Or transferred to another station? He could only hope not.
You shrugged. “I don’t know. The meeting starts in half an hour so we’ll be able to make it in time if we leave now.”
“I had to see Hyde again after you insulted him.” And because he makes me happy.
“He’s a ghost, Gackt! Why don’t you play cards with Jun-ji and Chacha for once instead of chasing after a ghost?”
“And why don’t you let me do what I want and trust Hyde for once?” Gackt snapped, lowering his voice as he realized how loud their argument had become. They didn’t want to attract attention to themselves.
“Because you’re being absurd,” You said shortly as he turned back the way he’d come. “I’m not going to watch you destroy yourself.”
“Stop talking like that! I’ve never hurt while I’ve been with Hyde.”
“You would be dead if I hadn’t been here. Now come on, we need to get back to base.” You glanced back when Gackt didn’t move. “You can’t afford to miss this meeting, Gackt. You already have extra training sessions for missing once… if you miss a meeting, I have no idea what will happen to you, but you could lose your privileges.”
It killed him to lose what could have been hours spent with Hyde, but Gackt followed You since he was right. There was no place in the army for a disobedient soldier. Both of them were on their guard as they headed back to base, guns clasped in their hands and ready to fire at a moment’s notice should they need to. Aside from that one soldier, they didn’t see anyone and the walk back to base was peaceful. Upon reaching base, they left their guns in their tents and went to the center of the base where the men had already gathered for the meeting. Chacha gave them both a dark look as they took seats at the back, eyes promising to deal with their tardiness later.
“We’ve just received new orders. We leave this base tomorrow… two other units will be replacing our men here so we don’t lose the fight for this forest. Our new task is to protect the capital.”
Gackt froze. They were leaving? But they’d just gotten here!
“Good,” You muttered. “You can’t chase after a ghost if you’re not here.”
Gackt couldn’t believe it. They’d been at this station for less than a week and were already leaving. He sat up straighter as he realized something. The capital was very close to Mayfield. He’d be able to find out Tetsu’s side of the story there.
“The move is only temporary though,” Chacha said. “Don’t get too comfortable there.”
Only temporary… good. He’d be able to find out what had happened to Tetsu, bring his findings to Hyde, and finally free him from the clearing. This move wouldn’t be as horrible as he’d thought it would be.
* * *
Gackt slipped out of his tent in the early morning and looked around to see if anyone would notice him leaving. He seemed to be the only one awake, but checked in on You just in case. He was most concerned that You would notice him leaving since he would try to stop him from seeing Hyde. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw You fast asleep on his cot. He hadn’t wanted to argue with You again since he couldn’t miss his only chance to see Hyde. His unit was leaving today and he couldn’t depart without saying goodbye to the ghost. Chacha had said that this move was only temporary, but it could be weeks before he returned to visit Hyde again and didn’t want the ghost to spend the time worrying about him and thinking he was dead since he’d never returned.
The soldier pushed thoughts of Hyde aside as he left the safety of the base. He concentrated on his surroundings, constantly watching out for enemy soldiers and using the trees as protection since he’d learned his lesson yesterday. You wasn’t here to save him again if he lost himself in his own world and put himself in danger. Fortunately, Gackt encountered no one on his way to the grave. Hyde was waiting for him in the clearing, face lighting up as he saw him.
“Gackt! I thought you would have come to see me earlier.”
“I tried to go yesterday, but there were complications.” Gackt joined him at the gravestone and studied the ghost. He’d never expected that Hyde would find a place in his heart, but he had. He’d assumed that he would simply help the ghost so he could move on then resume the life he’d led before meeting Hyde and focus on the war. During their time together, Hyde had changed from someone he pitied and wanted to help to being a friend. Gackt would truly miss the ghost when he finally left this world behind and comforted himself with the knowledge that Hyde would be far happier when he wasn’t trapped here.
“It’s all right. All that matters is that you’re here now,” Hyde said, looking so happy that Gackt almost considered lying to him and telling him he would be back to see him soon. He immediately discarded that thought since that would be selfish. Hyde needed to know that he wouldn’t be here for some time. As much as he hated to be the bearer of ill news, it was better to tell an unpleasant truth than to lie and cause Hyde more pain when he didn’t return.
“Hyde… I have bad news. My unit is being moved to the capital.”
The bright smile faded. “But you just got here.”
“I know. I felt the same thing, but Chacha said the move is only temporary and that we shouldn’t get too comfortable in the capital.”
“How long is temporary?”
“I don’t know,” Gackt said sadly. “There’s one good thing about this transfer though. Mayfield is close to the capital so I’ll be able to go there and find out what happened to Tetsu.”
The ghost’s eyes widened. “Tet-chan…”
“I believe Tetsu is the key to your freedom and if you can find out what happened to him, you’ll be able to move on.”
“Yes, I think so too.” Hyde reached for Gackt as he’d done before, looking frustrated when his fingers once again slipped through his shoulder. “Be careful.”
Gackt suppressed a shiver at the icy sensation. “I promise I will.”
“Do you have to go now?” Hyde asked.
“I do. I’m so sorry I’m leaving you again and that I couldn’t stay with you for very long today.” Their meetings were always so rushed and he felt terrible that he couldn’t properly keep Hyde company.
“It’s not your fault.” The ghost stood and brushed his hair back. “I won’t see you for some time after this so I’ll walk you to the edge of the forest.”
Gackt was surprised by the offer since Hyde had never done something like this before. He’d changed so much from the aloof, lonely spirit he’d been when they first met. It made Gackt happy to see that Hyde was friendlier, more affectionate, and that those once rare smiles were frequent now. “Thank you. I appreciate the company.” He picked up his gun and looked at the ghost. “Hyde, can you sense when someone is nearby? Whenever I come to this clearing and you aren’t here all I have to do is call and you appear.”
“I can tell when someone is in this clearing, but it doesn’t work like that for the rest of the forest. I never know when you’re going to visit me until I feel you in my clearing.” Hyde sighed again. “I wish I could sense your presence at all times. Then I’d always know that you’re still alive and be able to tell when you’re coming to see me.”
“At least you can sense my presence sometimes.” Gackt left the clearing with Hyde, automatically setting a slower pace since the ghost was smaller and had shorter legs.
Hyde chuckled. “I’m dead, Gackt. You don’t need to walk slowly for my sake.”
Gackt felt a little embarrassed as he resumed his normal pace. “I know.” Speed didn’t matter to a ghost.
“Have you encountered enemy soldiers when you come to visit me?” Hyde asked. “I see so many of them when I wander through the forest.”
“Yesterday was the first time I saw one. I wasn’t careful so it was my own fault that I endangered myself.”
Hyde looked alarmed. “What happened?”
“I was thinking about you and wasn’t aware of the world around me. I tripped over a tree root and found myself staring down the barrel of an enemy soldier’s gun.”
“Gackt! Don’t think about me so much that you endanger yourself. Did you kill him?”
“No, You did. He’d followed me and shot the soldier before he could kill me. He saved my life… I wouldn’t be here today if it hadn’t been for him.”
“It’s a good thing he followed you then.”
“Yes, I’m very lucky.” Gackt didn’t tell Hyde about their argument and how You had been determined to stop him from seeing the ghost. “There will be two other units taking the place of mine later today. You never know, one might be able to see spirits and can keep you company in my absence.”
Hyde frowned. “I don’t want a strange soldier visiting me. You’re the only one I trust now.”
Gackt smiled. “Good, I don’t want to be replaced.”
“No one could ever replace you.”
“It’s the same for you.”
Hyde smiled back, but stopped and looked up at him. “If you see Tet-chan’s spirit in Mayfield, tell him I miss him and that I… I forgive him for marrying Ayana. Everyone needs to move on from a past relationship at some point, and I wouldn’t have wanted Tetsu to spend the rest of his life alone. If she loved him and took care of him, then I can be happy for them.”
“I’ll tell him,” Gackt promised.
“Thank you.”
“When did you forgive him? You were so angry when you found out he’d left,” Gackt said, remembering how Hyde’s pain had changed summer to winter in the clearing.
“I forgave him when you were gone. I realized Tetsu would have suffered if he’d been alone forever. I’m still angry at him for abandoning me, but I forgive him for falling in love again.”
“I’ll let him know.”
“If he’s still alive… will you tell him everything?”
“Of course, and I’ll find a way to bring him back with me so you can talk to him yourself.”
Hyde managed a smile. “I’d like that… but I don’t think he’s alive. I just have a feeling that he’s gone.”
“I feel the same.” He would look for Tetsu’s grave in Mayfield and if he couldn’t find it, he’d figure out whether Tetsu had died here of he’d moved again. If Tetsu had moved… no, he didn’t want to think about how impossible it would be to find him.
“If Tet-chan had children with Ayana, one of them could have stayed behind.”
“Let’s hope so.” Tetsu’s child could tell him about Tetsu and his reasons for leaving. They fell silent after that since they were nearing the place where he’d almost been killed yesterday. Conversing with Hyde, although pleasant, was distracting. The ghost understood his sudden silence and kept quiet as well so as not to disturb him.
All too soon, the edge of the forest came into view. Gackt stopped and looked at the ghost at his side. “Goodbye, Hyde. I’ll miss your company and your smiles.”
“I’ll miss yours too.” The ghost reached for him, hand hovering near his face but never brushing his skin. “Please don’t die out there.”
“I can’t die until I’ve helped you.” Gackt laid his hand over Hyde’s small, cold one and wished it was possible to touch him for real. He wanted to embrace the ghost, but would only slip right through him.
Hyde smiled bravely. “I’ll be waiting for you. Goodbye, Gackt. Take care of yourself and return to me alive and well.”
“I’ll do my best.” Gackt reluctantly turned away and started walking back to base. He glanced back over his shoulder and saw that Hyde was still standing where he’d left him, watching him go. Gackt raised a hand in farewell, smiling a little as Hyde returned the action. He was going to miss the ghost so much while he was gone. He faced forward again, determined to find what he needed in Mayfield so Hyde could finally move on.
Notes
1) The muses surprised me in this chapter and Gackt was more friendly with Hyde than I'd planned. When I first started writing this, I never intended for Gackt to have a big emotional connection with Hyde. He definitely does now so I might have to tinker with the planned ending for this story.
2) Also, I have some of chapter 10 written up in my notebook so that chapter should be easier to write since I already have part of it done. I'd really like to get Chapter 10 posted by this weekend, but we'll see if I can do it.
3) Only three more chapters left!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-11-08 10:26 pm (UTC)And a kiss. Or several. XDDAlso, I thought for one awesome second that Hyde was the one that killed the soldier by ripping out his soul, but then when You showed up I was all "AWWW, DANG. >:C" And srsly, YOU STFU! YOU'RE NOT GACKT'S MOM- HE DOESN'T NEED TO LISTEN TO YOUR JEALOUS ASS. GOSH. *borrows Hyde's handkerchief and slaps You in the face with it*
AND I'M SO ANXIOUS ABOUT WHAT GACKT WILL FIND OUT ABOUT TETSU!!! :'D It would be great if he was still alive, but I have a feeling he's not as well.....I can't wait to see what happens!!
ONLY 3 MORE CHAPS? I'M SAD. D: IT'S TOO AWESOME TO END!!!
no subject
Date: 2011-11-09 01:57 am (UTC)Nope, You to the rescue. But if anyone so much as harms a hair on Gackt's head and it happens in Hyde's forest, there will be some major soul ripping. LOL oh beating You with the ghostly handkerchief... poor You.
You'll find out in the next chapter! I'll try to get it done sooner
I'm glad there's 3 left... I want to write OTHER things, aha. But I have some sidestories in mind for A Soldier's Dream so it won't be completely over
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Date: 2011-11-09 08:49 pm (UTC)Hyde has totally changed loads from the kinda scary, depressed ghost he was when Gackt first met him. :3 Aww. <33 Ha ha!! AND THEY WOULD BE BEAUTIFUL GHOSTLY BABIES. :'D PRECISELY. HE BETTER!! >:C
Ha ha, that's good to know! He deserves more than that really, but I'm being decent about it. >:D In reality, I'd rather use a frying pan. XDD STUPID JEALOUS BIATCH.
KK!!!!!!!
I know you'll be happy, just like I'm going to be effin psyched when Evan is done. I'll prolly throw a party for myself and everything! Yeah I know, since you mentioned them already!!! :DD I'm excited for those!! Hey, have you thought of writing one where Hyde is still alive and when he meets Tetsu for the first time and all? :DDD And them falling in love and such. <33
no subject
Date: 2011-11-09 10:52 pm (UTC)He really has. That's something I like about a multi-chapter, the characters involved develop with the story and in the end they're usually nothing like the person they were in the beginning. LOL they would.
Poor You XD
I plan on throwing a party for myself once A Soldier's Dream is done. It'll be glorious. I actually did think of doing that, but if I wrote that I'd actually have to figure out a time period and where the hell they live. I've cheated since this is all a dream so I just need to know the general time period
no subject
Date: 2011-11-13 01:46 am (UTC)Considering Evan is the only 3rd multi-chap fic I've ever written, I've never really noticed that lol! Things just become multi-chap for me when the idea extends beyond a simple scene, since the ideas I generally think of revolve around one particular scene. :3
Ha ha ha, nice! XD You should buy yourself a cake and have them write in that gel stuff "I FINISHED SOLDIER, WOO!" on it. XDD Well yeah, but with some research it can be done! :D I've had to do a lot with Evan since I didn't know much about Japan in the 1880s. :O
no subject
Date: 2011-11-13 09:53 pm (UTC)It's true, I've seen it enough with my work and in reading novels. It's usually the same for me, but then bringing in a plot so I can use that scene is what makes it longer...
I'll treat myself to a cookie cake
I don't like real cake that much. Brownies are so much betterLOL I should, people will be like... what's that? XD True... I just don't want to write it, haha.no subject
Date: 2011-11-18 04:45 am (UTC)Makes sense!!
Cookie cake? :O Never heard of that! I know what ice cream cake is though. Yeah, I'm not a cake person either unless it's my aunt's. |D Her cakes are spectacular! And the cakes here at school are great too! <33 Ha ha, they don't need to know what it means, just make sure they do it right! >D DON'T BE LAZY! XD IT HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL. :'D I would love to see non-depressed Human!Hyde with Tetsu!!! <333
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Date: 2011-11-18 09:04 pm (UTC)I haven't had it, but it's just a giant cookie so it must be delicious. I might just be cheap and get myself a brownie instead. Since the cookie cake is kind of expensive. Ohh tasty. XD True. Yeah it has potential I just... don't want to write it since that one would be just a love story. I'll probably write a one-shot, but definitely not a multi-chapter with them meeting and falling in love. I'm trying to break away from pure romance, I got into that with fanfiction and it's gotten rather dull. So if I have a story that's about falling in love, I incorporate interesting things so I don't get bored with it LOL. Like one of my AUs, which is with Hyde as a detective! And Gackt wants him. Badly. So there's the police element to that love story.
no subject
Date: 2011-11-18 09:32 pm (UTC)Ah, okay! But for that, I would just buy a bunch of normal sized cookies, LOL. VERY TASTY. <33 Ah, lol, you're like me! XD I don't like romance just by itself either, needs some other elements along with it. :3 A one shot would be great, it doesn't have to be this uber long thing. :DDD Picturing Hyde as a detective is cracking me up. X'D
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Date: 2011-11-19 01:06 am (UTC)I'll probably just end up doing that. I used to be fine with it, but I just can't stomach it now. I had a 7 part HaiTsu in mind but... it's too much romance. Not enough substance in it. I won't write the whole thing, but I'll write a small part. Maybe a sex scene LOL Ahaha the tiny detective with Gackt trying to get in his pants as usual
no subject
Date: 2011-11-09 07:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-09 05:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-09 02:54 pm (UTC)I laughed at the "I'm dead Gackt, you don't need to walk slowly." xD
I'm a little sad that Gackt and the others to move away again, after just being there. Poor things. :( as long as they're fine... they'll be fine, right? They better be!!
really I like this story. I like ghost stories. *chuckles* I'll wait (more or less) patiently for the next chapter!!
no subject
Date: 2011-11-09 05:12 pm (UTC)XD At least Gackt was trying to be a gentleman
Gackt's very sad that he has to leave Hyde. But it's for the purpose of advancing the plot! Pff I can't say that, that'd be a spoiler!
I was never really into ghost stories before I started writing one. I'll probably writer another at some point. Oh I'll see how fast I can get it out
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Date: 2011-11-09 07:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-09 10:18 pm (UTC)I'm proud of you ladies. I mostly just stick to OC abusePoor dearsno subject
Date: 2011-11-10 07:38 am (UTC)“I’ll be waiting for you.Goodbye, Gackt. Take care of yourself and return to me alive and well.”This sounds like a wife saying goodbye to
hisher husband *giggles*...and I surprised to see G seems like he had sumtin for Hyde :)) but of course that's not gonna happen, if only Hyde was a human, I believe G will abandon his duty n run with him :DD
...fufuu~ pardon my daydreaming :3
I hope G will find something about Tetsu in his new place! *cross fingers*
Moooooore~
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Date: 2011-11-10 07:39 am (UTC)LoL, I was about to italic that sentence, but happen to strike it instead :p
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Date: 2011-11-10 04:05 pm (UTC)Haha he surprised me too, but he does love Hyde. He just isn't fully aware of it... I think You senses, which is why he's so intent on keeping Gackt away from Hyde since nothing can come of this. It'll only hurt Gackt in the end.
LOL oh if Hyde were alive, Gackt would probably be picking him up and carrying his lovely bride away and saying to hell with the war.
Since I have most of it written from my notebook already, I might be able to get Chapter 10 posted this weekend as long as the editing cooperates with me
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Date: 2011-11-11 07:09 am (UTC)I'm glad the muses surprised you too, I wanted a strong connection between Gackt and Hyde <3 I loved when they tried to touch each other, it's sad that they really can't, but it's the gesture that counts~
I don't want Gackt to leave yet though :( Poor Hydee has to be alone again for a while... But I'm very curious to hear Tetsu's part of the story. And I'm glad Hyde forgave him as well; Hyde really has changed a lot from the beginning :)
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Date: 2011-11-11 03:35 pm (UTC)They definitely have a much stronger connection. I have a couple cute side-stories in mind exploring that, which I'll write eventually. One is in progress and the other is waiting to be written. It is sad that they can't touch each other, but they're trying anyway and that's what makes them happy
He has to for the sake of advancing the plot! XD Poor Hyde indeed... he'll miss Gackt as much as Gackt will miss him. Yes he has *wipes proud tear* He's much happier now
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Date: 2011-11-12 05:55 am (UTC)I know, but still XD I'm glad he is, he deserves to be happy after all he's been through. I want him to finally be free, but then I'll be sad again since he has to leave Gackt... I gues it''ll be a nice semi-bittersweet ending~
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Date: 2011-11-12 08:29 pm (UTC)