A Soldier's Dream: Alternate Ending

[write_my_dreams]

Title: A Soldier's Dream: Alternate Ending
Author: write_my_dreams
Pairing: Gackt x Hyde (dream only: past Tetsu x Hyde)
Genre: AU, romance, some fluff
Warning/Disclaimer: Nothing to warn about. I own nothing but the story.
Rating: PG
Chapter(s): 1/1
Summary: After guest-starring for VAMPS on Halloween, the costumes Gackt and Hyde wore haunt Gackt in his sleep and inspire a vivid dream.
Author's Comment: This is the happy version of how A Soldier's Dream ends. I enjoyed writing this, but I'm glad I used the original ending in the story.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done, Gacchan,” Hyde beamed. “I’m eternally indebted to you.”
 
“I was happy to help.” No one should be forced to wander the earth forever. “Is your soul at peace now?”
 
Hyde nodded. “It is. I feel like the threads that bound me to this clearing are gone now. It’s all thanks to you, Gacchan. I needed someone to end my loneliness and help me find out what happened to Tetsu before I could rest in peace. I’m still angry at him for letting shame get in the way of seeing me again, but I’m glad he loved me until his dying day.”
 
“Maybe you can find him in a new life and be happy with him.”
 
Hyde smiled again. “I hope so.” His smile faded and he let out a heavy sigh. “I’m going to miss you so much.”
 
“I’ll miss you too,” Gackt said sadly. “You’ve become so important to me.” He thought of You’s words as he looked at the ghost. You wanted him to tell Hyde that he loved him, but Gackt was hesitant. He feared a confession would cause the ghost to linger here, but You had disagreed. “I think you should tell him. He might have fallen in love with you too and if he has, then he deserves to know that there’s one person on this earth who loves him.”
 
“You’ve become just as important to me.”
 
“I…” Gackt trailed off, but took a breath and continued. You was right. Hyde deserved to know about his love. “I fell in love with you, Hyde. I realized I was in love with you when I came back from Mayfield. Everything I’ve done for you has been for love.” Gackt wasn’t sure how Hyde would react to his confession, but the ghost gave him a warm smile and reached out as if to touch Gackt’s shoulder.
 
“I fell in love with you too, Gacchan. I didn’t trust you at first because I thought you’d abandon me like everyone else did, but you were loyal and kept all your promises. You became more precious to me with each visit to my grave.” Hyde stepped closer. “Because of you, I’ve felt more peaceful than I have in years. I’ve been trapped here for so long because of Tetsu… angry and lonely that I didn’t know how to feel peace and love anymore. But you made me happy for the first time in years and taught me how to love again. Thank you for helping me, Gacchan. I would still be an angry spirit tied to this clearing if you hadn’t found me.”
 
“I’m glad I’ve brought peace to your soul and made you happy again.” He was glad that Hyde returned his feelings, but felt hurt too since there was no way for this love story to end well. A ghost could not be with a living man. Gackt had been aware of this ever since he’d realized his true feelings and had already braced himself for the pain of their parting.
 
“Don’t look so miserable.” Hyde reached out to touch Gackt’s face. The soldier leaned into Hyde’s hand, wishing he could feel the ghost’s skin instead of the chill.
 
“I can’t help it. I’m going to miss you so much.”
 
“I know,” Hyde sighed and let his hand fall back to his side. “I’ll miss you as much as you’ll miss me.”
 
“What happens now?” Gackt asked. A selfish part of him wanted the ghost to stay longer so they could have more time together, but the rest wanted him to move on at last.
 
“My soul leaves this earth.” Hyde hesitated, but extended his hand. “If you wish, I can bring you into the spirit world for a few minutes. It’ll be possible for us to touch because we’ll both be spirits.”
 
“But what will happen to my body…?” Gackt had never received an offer like this before and didn’t want to risk losing his life to be able to embrace Hyde.
 
“It’ll be as if you’re sleeping.”
 
“Did you ever bring Tetsu into the spirit world?”
 
Hyde shook his head. “I wanted to, but I was afraid I’d end up hurting him. Can you imagine how terrifying it would be for a ghost you cannot see to bring you into the spirit world? I feared I’d do more harm than good by speaking to him.”
 
Gackt nodded. “It probably was for the best that you didn’t speak to him then.”
 
“If you don’t want to endanger yourself and refuse, I understand. You won’t be able to defend yourself if enemy soldiers chance upon this clearing.” Hyde’s hand was still extended despite his warning. Gackt set down his gun and took the ghost’s hand. There was a risk of danger, but he wanted to be able to embrace Hyde and hold him close like a lover would. It was worth the risk. Gackt felt a strange pulling sensation and the next thing he knew, he could feel Hyde’s hand clasped in his instead of the usual icy sensation he got from touching the ghost. They were still in the clearing, but the colors were brighter and everything seemed so much more vibrant and alive. His body was lying on the ground and appeared to be asleep just as Hyde had told him.
 
“There.” Hyde beamed and stood up on tiptoe so he could wrap his arms around Gackt’s neck and hold him close. “I can finally do this.”
 
Gackt returned the embrace and leaned his face against Hyde’s hair. It felt so good to be able to hold him at last. The ghost’s small body fit perfectly in his arms and he sighed, knowing this was the first and last time that he would hold him.
 
“You’re so tall,” Hyde grumbled, dropping down to wrap his arms around the soldier’s waist so he wouldn’t be forced to stand on tiptoe just to hold him.
 
Gackt laughed. “Maybe you’re just too short,” he teased, smiling as Hyde pouted. He reached up to touch the blonde wig. “Is it possible to remove your wig? I want to see what you truly look like.” He’d seen photographs of Hyde dressed as a man, but a photo could never compare to the beauty of the real thing.
 
The ghost shook his head. “No. I’ve tried to remove pieces of this costume, but I can’t. I died like this and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
 
“I understand.” Gackt hadn’t expected that there would be much of a chance, but had hoped anyway.
 
“Gacchan?” Hyde looked up at him.
 
“What?” Gackt stroked the ghost’s cheek. He didn’t know how much time he had left with him. Some spirits faded quickly while others had a harder time relinquishing their grip on the world.
 
Hyde gently pulled Gackt down for a kiss. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he whispered, kissing Gackt again and sliding his fingers into his hair.
 
The soldier eagerly returned the kiss as his fingers traced along the exposed skin of Hyde’s shoulder. It was harder to feel sensations like the softness of Hyde’s lips against his when they were in the spirit world, but it was a kiss and that was all Gackt needed. “I’ve wanted to kiss you too.”
 
Hyde beamed and chose not to respond verbally. Instead, he pulled Gackt back into a passionate kiss. The soldier drew back after a few moments. He felt like he was betraying Tetsu’s memory by kissing Hyde even though Tetsu had moved on to Ayana long ago. “Hyde… what about Tetsu?”
 
The ghost stroked his face. “I’ll find Tet-chan later. I just want to spend my remaining time with you now.”
 
“How much time do you have left with me?”
 
“I don’t know,” Hyde admitted.
 
“I’ll stay with you until the end,” Gackt promised.
 
The ghost smiled. “You’re sweet, Gacchan. I hope you can live a long and happy life.”
 
“I’ll try.” Gackt kissed the ghost again. “When I die, I’ll find you and we can live a new life together… as friends or lovers, it doesn’t matter to me as long as I can share my life with you.”
 
“How will you know it’s me?” Hyde asked.
 
Gackt smiled. “I have a feeling I’ll know. Besides, I couldn’t forget you even if I tried.”
 
“I couldn’t forget you either, Gacchan.” Hyde leaned his head against his shoulder with a sigh of contentment. “I forgot what it felt like to be free. I could fly away and leave this world behind in a moment, but I’ll stay with you for just a little longer.” He sighed as he raised his head and looked up at Gackt. “There’s never enough time to spend with you… I wish we had more, but you need to live and I need to die.”
 
“Should I go back to my body now?” Gackt asked quietly. Even though the selfish part of him wanted Hyde to stay with him, the rest knew it was time for Hyde to move on. He’d waited for this day for sixty years.
 
“Not yet. Let me spend a little more time with you and then I’ll let you go.” Hyde kissed him again and wrapped his arms around Gackt’s neck, expressing his love with that kiss. They would never be lovers in this life, but they had other lives ahead of them and Gackt could only hope that he’d have Hyde in the future.
 
The ghost reluctantly broke the kiss and stepped back, looking morose. “I shouldn’t keep you for much longer.”
 
Gackt wanted to protest, but knew that Hyde was right. He didn’t belong in the spirit world. “I’ll miss you.”
 
“I’ll miss you too.” Hyde combed his fingers through the soldier’s hair. “Take care of yourself, Gacchan. I want you to survive this war and live a long and happy life.”
 
“I want the same.”
 
Hyde leaned in for one more kiss. “Goodbye.”
 
Gackt pulled him into his arms and held him close as he returned the kiss. He would never see Hyde again and he wanted to make their last moments together count. “Goodbye.” He stroked the ghost’s face. “Find Tetsu and be happy with him.”
 
“I will after I yell at him,” Hyde said, managing a smile despite their parting. “I’ll take you back to your body now.”
 
“Will I still be able to see you once I’m back in my body?”
 
Hyde shook his head. “No, I’m staying in this world. It’s time for me to leave now.”
 
“I hope you’ll be happy.”
 
Hyde smiled again. “I know I will be.” He took Gackt’s hand again and the world darkened around him. He came back to his body with a start, sitting up and immediately noticing the differences between this world and the spirit world. He automatically looked for Hyde, frowning since he could feel his presence but couldn’t see him anywhere. Hyde had truly stayed in the spirit world.
 
Gackt slowly got to his feet, picking up his gun and laying his hand on the grave. Tears came to his eyes as he accepted the fact that he would never see Hyde again. Never see him smile, hear him laugh, or hold his small form in his arms. Those brief minutes of being able to embrace and kiss Hyde were amongst his most cherished memories, and they would have to last until he died and could find Hyde again in another life.
 
The soldier looked up from the grave as he felt a breeze caress his face and whisper in Hyde’s voice, “Don’t cry.”
 
“I can’t help it,” the soldier said, smiling helplessly as more tears trailed down his cheeks. He was happy and heartbroken at the same time and was incapable of preventing the tears. “You don’t have to stay here for me, Hyde. Move on and truly be free.”
 
“Goodbye.” The breeze brushed the tears from his face again. Gackt touched his face, feeling the phantom sensation of Hyde’s fingers against his skin. He smiled through the tears as the breeze stirred his hair, watching as it rustled the leaves of the weeping willow before fading away. Gackt let his hand fall back to his side. He could no longer sense Hyde’s presence in the clearing.
 
The soldier touched the grave again. “Goodbye, Hyde. I’ll look for you in the next life and I won’t be at peace until I find you again.” Slowly, he turned and left the clearing since there was nothing more for him here. Hyde was finally at peace and would never return to this forest again. Gackt dried his tears on his sleeve and closed his eyes, committing every detail of Hyde – his voice, his laugh, his embrace, his kisses – to memory before leaving the clearing. It was time to live his own life now.
 
*   *   *
 
“Gacchan?” Gackt stirred as he felt a hand shaking his shoulder. “Wake up!” The hand pushed harder when he didn’t comply, and Gackt slowly opened his eyes to peer into Hyde’s worried face. “Are you all right?”
 
“What do you mean?” the soloist rubbed the sleep from his eyes, frowning since Hyde was naked and had brown hair. What happened to the wedding gown and the blonde wig? And what had happened to him? He wasn’t wearing his uniform and had shorter hair. Gackt sat up and looked around. He was in bed with Hyde instead of being in the clearing. The sound of the fountain and the sight of the photos on the wall reminded him that he was home in Tokyo in 2008. He had never been a soldier in World War II. It had all been a dream. But everything had felt so real! Had it really just been a dream?
 
Hyde touched his face, and Gackt was surprised to feel moisture there. “You’re crying.”
 
The soloist’s hand flew to his face. “I am?” Indeed he was. He could feel tears trailing down his fingers.
 
Hyde nodded, gently moving Gackt’s hand so he could brush the tears away himself. “I got up to get a drink and saw you were crying when I came back. Did you have a bad dream?”
 
Gackt shook his head. “No… I think it was a good dream, even though parts were sad.” He lay back against the pillows again.
 
Hyde joined him and draped his arm over Gackt’s waist. “What did you dream?”
 
“It was based on our costumes.” Gackt started at the beginning and described the dream to him. Hyde listened, occasionally interrupting to ask questions. “I came back from Mayfield with Tetsu’s will and a poem he’d written for you.”
 
“Did your knowledge about Tetsu free the ghost me?” Hyde asked.
 
“Yes.” Gackt kissed the top of his head. “You needed someone to end your loneliness and solve the mystery of what happened to Tetsu before you could move on. I was able to do both for you.” He wrapped his arms around Hyde and drew him against his chest. It felt good to be able to hold Hyde again after losing him in the dream.
 
“Is that why you were crying?”
 
“Yes. I loved you… so it hurt to lose you, even though I was happy you’d moved on.”
 
The singer smiled. “It’s all just a dream, Gacchan. I’m here and you’re not going to lose me.” His smile faded and turned into a pout. “I can’t believe Tet-chan left me like that! I’ll have to scold him at work.”
 
“And You was always so paranoid.” Gackt combed his fingers through Hyde’s hair. Fortunately, the real You had never objected to Hyde’s presence in Gackt’s life. He adored Hyde and had happily welcomed him into his circle of friends.
 
“Mm…” Hyde muffled a yawn behind his hand.
 
“Do you want to go back to sleep?” It was only four in the morning.
 
Hyde yawned again and closed his eyes. “Yes, we didn’t get to sleep until late.”
 
Gackt trailed his fingers down the singer’s bare arm with a wicked smirk. “You enjoyed it though.”
 
Hyde crackled an eye open and smirked back. “Of course I did. You should go back to sleep too, Gacchan.”
 
“No… I’m going to get on the treadmill soon. I’ll stay until you’re asleep though.”
 
The singer sighed and gave him an annoyed look. “You really should get more sleep.”
 
“And you should work out more,” Gackt retorted.
 
Hyde wrinkled his nose. “I’d rather sleep.” He closed his eyes, clearly too tired to continue their usual argument. “Night, Gacchan.”
 
“Good night.” Gackt stroked his lover’s hair and sang him a lullaby, quieting as Hyde’s breathing changed to the gentle rhythm of sleep. He lingered in bed with Hyde as he thought about the dream. Everything about it had been so real. The agony of war, the terror of losing You after he’d been shot and didn’t wake up from his surgery, anger at Tetsu for abandoning Hyde… joy at being able to embrace and kiss the ghost he’d fallen in love with. Lace slipping through his fingers as he’d reluctantly released Hyde from his embrace. The tears he’d shed in the dream and in reality since Hyde was truly leaving him. How could something so realistic be a dream?
 
“When I die, I’ll find you and we can live a new life together… as friends or lovers, it doesn’t matter to me as long as I can share my life with you.”
 
“How will you know it’s me?”
 
 “I have a feeling I’ll know.”
 
Gackt glanced down at Hyde. Had the dream been a memory of a previous life? He’d felt an instant connection to Hyde when he’d decided the singer had to play Kei. He was determined to have Hyde play the vampire even though he’d been told no, that Hyde didn’t do movies and that he needed to consider someone else for the role. But Gackt had been adamant and had taken Hyde out to dinner to discuss Moon Child and to convince him to join the cast. He’d been successful and had known at that moment that Hyde had forever become an important figure in his life. And he had.
 
The soloist continued to watch Hyde sleep as he remembered another set of dreams that had felt so real he’d had a hard time believing they weren’t reality. He’d dreamt that he and Hyde were both samurai when he’d been filming Fuurin Kazan. They’d been in love despite being from rival families, but had managed to make their relationship despite the obstacles in their way. He’d dismissed them as interesting dreams inspired by his role in the drama and how much he missed Hyde – but maybe he was wrong. Maybe they were memories of a past life just like the World War II dream.
 
Gackt slowly got out of bed and tucked Hyde in, smiling when he pouted and groped around for him. “Sorry, love, but I need to exercise.” He leaned down to kiss the top of Hyde’s head before pulling away. He dressed in his workout clothes and left the room. If the dreams were in fact memories and not just a product of his vivid imagination, Gackt had hope that he’d be with Hyde and their closest friends again in a new life.

Notes
1) This is the end of A Soldier's Dream for now. I still have those four one-shots in mind, but I need to take a break from this story for now so I won't be writing them anytime soon.
2) Also, the lovely bluemarina6195 drew fanart for Chapter 11 and I must share with everyone. I would link to your journal, but you've made your pictures friends only and I don't know how many of my watchers are on your friends list too... so photobucket link. Let me know if you'd rather I just link to your journal.

Comments

[dohai-love.livejournal.com]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *FANGIRLS EVERYWHERE*

KVBWJVJBWUCBWUBBEFKW.

KNOQDWOIWCBOWIBCIOWBCIOWBEOC.

PDOJOJVBJRBUYVBVIUWIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DIES*

YOU'VE DONE IT DEE. YOU'VE OFFICIALLY KILLED ME WITH THE ADORABLE SWEET RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GACKTXGHOST HYDE. I'M JUST GOING TO PRETEND THIS IS THE REAL ENDING. :'D It's just how I would have wanted it!!! :'D I'm so happy they got to kiss and hold each other, though I was a tad disappointed Gackt wasn't able to see what Hyde really looked like. D: That would have been super awesome! <333 AND IT KILLED ME WHEN GACKT WAS CRYING OVER HIS GRAVE AND HYDE TOLD HIM NOT TO CRY AND WIPED AWAY HIS TEARS USING THE WIND AND THEN HE WOKE UP CRYING QPITEBSSKCNKEBC. SO SWEEEEET!!!!!!!! <33333

And I LOLed so hard at “I can’t believe Tet-chan left me like that! I’ll have to scold him at work.” ROFL. Poor Tetsu, he'll be so confused. "Hyde, you left your soba bowl on my table again!! I almost spilled it over all my papers!" "What, you can't pick it up and move it over? >.>;;;" "That's not the poi-" "DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO MR. I-ABANDONED-YOUR-GRAVE-BECAUSE I WAS TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO APOLOGIZE! GROW SOME BALLS and then you can bitch at me about where I leave my soba okay? *storms out*" ".......What?!?! O.o"

AND I LOVE THE LAST SENTENCE. I JUST LOVE THIS WHOLE THING SRSLY SO PERFECT. <333 YOU'RE AMAZING. XDD

[write_my_dreams]

LOL I succeeded in breaking your mind!

Yay! Haha feel free to choose whichever ending you want, that's why I wrote two of them. I'm glad it's just how you wanted it. I'm very happy with how it turned out. Yes, poor soldier Gackt never does get to see what Hyde truly looks like. I actually outlined a smutty version of this for you where Gackt is able to take the wig and clothes off... but that wasn't going to work Aww yes, Gackt was very affected by losing Hyde.

LOL poor Tetsu indeed. He'll be holding the bowl and looking all shocked.

I'm happy you liked it so much! Thanks :D

[dohai-love.livejournal.com]

YES, but in a good way! :'D

Thank goodness lol!! This totally made up for the betrayal I felt from Hyde in the original ending. :'D It's like you read my mind, srsly! XD LOL why thank you, I appreciate the effort! XD But yeah, if Gackt started stripping Hyde it would kill the sweet loving atmosphere, so I like this just as it is. You have can have him stripping Hyde in a side-story! :D Poor baby, I hope he recovers.

That'll definitely be an interesting day at work. XD

:DDD DOU ITASHI MASHITE!!!!!!!!!!

[write_my_dreams]

Agreed!

Haha affected you that much? Some people were mad at him, then there were the morbid ones who loved the ending. Really? That's awesome xD It would, which is why it didn't work. I want soldier!Gackt to just be sweet and loving towards Hyde since he knows that's all he can do. I'll see if I can write sex between them XD Poor Gackt indeed... it'll take him a while and he'll always remember Hyde, but everyone has to move on eventually. He'll probably end up with You eventually. You and Hyde, the only men I can pair Gackt with.

It really would be XD And Tetsu goes home and tells Ayana about his strange day and how Hyde was acting. Very interesting conversation

[dohai-love.livejournal.com]

Well yeah!! ^^;; I really believed in Hyde and then for him to just turn on Gackt like that....D': NOT COOL. IT WAS ICE COLD /ANOTHER BAD PUN. *nod nod* Ganbatte ne!!! :D I'm sure you can. Definitely, he cares about him so much. <33 Once he gets over Hyde he'll realize his love for You. :3

[write_my_dreams]

LOL I'd cackle to myself when you'd be commenting on your hopes for the ending since the real ending is nothing like what you had in mind. Obviously it shocked Gackt as much as it shocked you. Hyde was selfish (like Kei) and just couldn't let him go though. I'm going to fry my smut muse with the fics I have coming up so as I said, that's your gift for when Evan is done He will, and then he and You will be happy <3 and Jun-ji will be all HA! I KNEW IT ALL ALONG and just smirk at them and call them idiots for taking so long to get together

[dohai-love.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you find my disappointment funny! D: /kidding. Yeah, at least we have that in common. ^^;; Yes, yes, of course! Evan won't be done prolly until summer, you have plenty of time! XD LOL exactly!! <33 It'll be cute.

[write_my_dreams]

Haha! You got your happy ending in this at least. True true, I'll just have to put myself back in the Soldier mindset Aww it will be. And they can be happy together.

LOL if a ghost was flirting with You...

[eadwine63.livejournal.com]

ahh-awwwww *reeally I'm so moved*
so adorable, so cute and sweet and sad at the same time, although mostly sweet. It's not even truly bittersweet. It's just sweet. awwww!! *trembling lips*

I loved how Gackt got back in his body and couldn't see Hyde, but could still feel and hear him. that was adorable!

i'm just to awwwww-ed to write a decent comment, sorry! ^_^"

[write_my_dreams]

Yeah, I'd say the same. It's sad when Hyde has to leave because Gackt will miss him so much, but the overall sweetness makes up for him

Hyde wasn't ready to leave him just yet <3

XD It's fine

[kokoro77.livejournal.com]

Tender,sweet and sad all in one.I like this ending,but I perfer the original one more.I also like how there's a subtle hint that Gackt and Hyde might be eternal soul mates,along with their friends.This is a very nice what if ending.

[write_my_dreams]

Yes, I really love this ending but I prefer the original. It's refreshing to not write a happy ending for once. I did enjoy hinting at that :D Oh it is

[a_deux_vitesses.livejournal.com]

Aww, I liked this ending so much ♥ It was just so sweet! Both of them going into the spirit world was a very nice touch too; I loved that they finally got to hug and kiss each other~ "There’s never enough time to spend with you… I wish we had more, but you need to live and I need to die.” You always include lines that I absolutely love ^^ Though it was really sad to see Hyde go, especially the part where Hyde used the breeze to wipe Gackt's tears away, and then he actually woke up crying ;_;

It very well could be have been memories from Gackt's past life. I'm glad you ended it that way, really interesting. The last line reminds me of a lyric from MEMORIES by VAMPS~

I don't know if it was just cause I was so not expecxting the other ending, but I enjoyed this one more, thanks for writing both <3

[a_deux_vitesses.livejournal.com]

Oh, and that fanart is lovely ♥

[write_my_dreams]

This one is very bittersweet. I wanted them to be able to express their love before Hyde had to go. I really liked that line too so I'm glad you enjoyed it. It is sad :( Poor Gackt.

It easily could have been. I find past lives fascinating so wanted to slip that in since it feels so real to Gackt. Oh? I'll have to look at the translation for that again.

The other ending came as a surprise to a lot of people, but I still love that one and am glad I decided to write both endings. It's fine if you like this one more, as long as you like one XD You're welcome!

[love-teddies.livejournal.com]

i know this ending is a happy one but i prefer the other one. more feelings and emotions are present there.

but anyway YOU MANAGE TO COMPLETE IT. -hugs-

[write_my_dreams]

I still like the original best, but am glad I wrote both endings since the emotions are so different.

I did! I'm very happy about that