The Art of Denial 3/14 (Fanfiction)
May. 20th, 2013 09:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
write_my_dreamsTitle: The Art of Denial
Author: ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
write_my_dreams
write_my_dreamsPairing: One-sided feelings for Atsushi
Bands: BUCK-TICK, Acid Black Cherry (Yasu), Solo (Kiyoharu), Lycaon
Genre: AU, paranormal, horror (sort of)
Warning/Disclaimer: Slight horror warning? Maki and Hisoka belong to me but Atsushi and the other named characters, alas, do not.
Rating: PG
Chapters: 3/14
Summary: After a girl commits suicide in his apartment, Atsushi starts getting headaches and having nightmares on an almost daily basis. Doctors can't figure out why he's having so many headaches and as time goes on Atsushi starts to realize there may be no logical explanation to his problem... but he's unwilling to accept there might be supernatural causes even though all the evidence points to it.
Author's Comment: This chapter took longer than usual for me to write since I've been busy travelling... then recovering from travels/a cold. I had to re-evaluate the cast and early chapters of this fic too. I feel like this chapter is a little slow. Chapter 4 will have more going on, I promise!
Today’s schedule granted Atsushi’s wish: he was too busy to think about his nightmare. As soon as he reached the studio he had a consultation meeting with Lycaon to talk about costumes, a fitting session with Royz, and then overseeing Lycaon’s photoshoot. In truth, he did nothing during photoshoots—that was the stylist’s job. Still, his presence was required. There was a chance that he would have to make quick, emergency repairs to costumes. He usually didn’t have to fix costumes during photoshoots though. Lives were another story… especially what Rito wore.
Atsushi had some time to himself after the photoshoot. He had just settled down to work on concept sketches when his phone buzzed. Imai had texted him.
Hey, Princess. Want to go out for lunch?
Atsushi rolled his eyes. Imai had far too much fun teasing him about his long hair. I’ll say yes as long as you don’t call me a princess.
The next text was a restaurant name and time. They would be meeting about an hour from now in a place that both were familiar with. Sound good?
Atsushi considered the restaurant. The food was good without being too expensive and there usually weren’t many people there. I’ll see you there. He pocketed his phone and picked up his pencil again. There was enough time to get some work done before he left for lunch.
* * *
Atsushi entered the restaurant and looked for Imai’s familiar blue hair. The other man had sent a text a few minutes ago to say he’d already arrived. He was here somewhere… Ah, over by the window. Imai had seated himself at a table with his phone in his hand. Atsushi walked over, dropping his bag in one of the empty seats then sitting across from Imai.
The other man glanced up from his phone and smirked. “I thought you were a girl at first.”
Atsushi rolled his eyes. More princess jokes? Imai needed new material. “Very funny.”
“You smell like roses.”
“I was at a photoshoot,” Atsushi explained. The roses had been a key part of the shoot so that explained his new… perfume. Smelling like a rosebush wasn’t ideal for him but there wasn’t much he could do about it. When Imai said nothing else, Atsushi picked up the menu and started glancing through it. He made a noise of complaint when Imai pushed the menu down, leaning forward to study his face. Feeling uncomfortable, Atsushi stared back. What was Imai up to now? His random scrutiny always made the designer feel uncomfortable.
“Are you alright? You look exhausted.” Imai traced the dark circles under Atsushi’s eyes. “You haven’t been sleeping well?”
“No I…” Atsushi trailed off, feeling like he’d been punched in the stomach as last night’s dream rolled over him. The note on his door. Maki’s body hanging from the ceiling with rejection letters at her feet. Maki speaking to him, trying to stop him from leaving… Atsushi didn’t realize he’d begun to tremble until Imai started rubbing his arm.
“Calm down, Acchan. What happened?”
Atsushi took a deep breath as he tried to regain his composure. How could he explain the nightmare? It was difficult to put the horror into words. “I… had a nightmare yesterday.” He raked his thick bangs back then looked at Imai. “I’ve been so busy today that I managed to forget until now. You… you remember Maki, right?”
Imai blinked. “The girl in the apartment above you?”
“Yes.”
“You had a nightmare about her?”
“It started with a note on my door…” Atsushi slowly explained the nightmare. Imai didn’t speak during his story but his frown deepened as the story progressed. Once the designer reached the end, Imai remained quiet. He was often like this when he was digesting new information. The blue-haired man picked up his water and drained it before leaning forward.
“I see why you’re disturbed. That was… some freaky shit. I’m sure Maki is fine though.” Imai patted Atsushi’s arm. “Dreams rarely make sense and it’s even rarer that they’re true. So don’t worry about her.”
“I don't know… it was so vivid…” Atsushi bit his lip as he looked at his menu. Part of him wondered if it really had been a dream. What would it be then? There was nothing remotely clairvoyant about him. He tried to convince himself that Imai was right, that Maki was fine. The only way to find out would be to check on her later. Once he knew she was okay, Atsushi wouldn’t have to worry anymore.
Imai shrugged. “Dreams usually are.”
A waitress came to take their orders, putting their conversation to a temporary halt. Atsushi quickly glanced through the menu while Imai placed his order. He settled on ramen and beer, deciding he needed a drink after everything he’d been through today. Once the waitress was gone, Imai looked at him again.
“About your dream… you’re probably just stressed about work. You’ve been busy lately so it makes sense.” Imai poked at his water glass, expression thoughtful. “You’ve only had a nightmare about Maki lately? No one… else?” Although Imai didn’t mention names, Atsushi knew what he was referring to. His childhood and dismal marriage were certainly enough to cause nightmares. He’d had plenty focused around both.
Atsushi rested his chin on his hand. “Only Maki. And I’m not stressed.” He was busy, yes, but he enjoyed the work. His professional life wasn’t an issue and there were no problems with his personal life. If he’d had this nightmare several months ago he would have blamed his ex-wife. She had caused so many problems for him… her lies, her refusal to sign the divorce papers, how she constantly tried to get him to come back and love her again. Finally she had given in and signed the papers. Once he was free from her, his life had improved.
Imai looked thoughtful. “Maybe you’re working too hard. Sometimes that causes nightmares.” He picked up his water glass to take a drink, setting it down once he’d drained it. “You should go out tonight. Get a drink, relax.” He frowned as he studied Atsushi again. “You seriously look like you need to unwind.”
Atsushi blinked. Maybe Imai was right. Relaxing could help… or was his busy life even the cause of the nightmare at all? Maybe his life in general was the problem. Sighing, he toyed with the ends of his hair. “I’ll try.” He glanced up as their waitress came with their food and drinks. She set the meals down in front of them then stepped back, bowing politely before walking away.
“Drink up.” Imai pushed Atsushi’s beer towards him with a smirk. “Careful tonight. You know how you’re like when you’re drink.”
Atsushi rolled his eyes as he took a drink. “Funny.” He set the beer down and picked up his chopsticks, mumbling, “Itadakimasu,” before starting on the ramen. Further conversation was put on hold as the pair focused on their lunch.
* * *
By the end of the workday, Atsushi was ready to hit the bar. Talking to Imai about the nightmare had made it impossible for him to focus on anything else. Details from the nightmare infiltrated their way into his sketches. Any work he’d done today would have to be redone when his mind was focused on his bands, not Maki’s possible suicide. Was it just a dream? Or was it real? Atsushi had been second-guessing himself all day. Part of him knew he should just go home. Check on Maki, make sure she was okay, then continue with his life. The more selfish part of him wanted to calm down first. Have fun, relax a little before he went home and faced his fears. Anyway, Maki was a student. Surely she was busy studying for her exams. If he came to talk to her later he wouldn’t have to worry about interrupting her studies.
He’d just convinced himself that it was okay to go to the bar when Kiyoharu and Rito walked up to him. “Hey, Atsu. Do you want to go out for drinks?” his assistant asked. “We’re meeting some people at the bar. Yasu and Satoshi are coming too.”
“Sure,” Atsushi replied. He gladly closed his sketchbook and started packing his bag. This would be the perfect distraction from Maki, the dream, and how pathetic he was for not going home now. Atsushi shot Rito a quick, nervous glance as he got up. He refused to have relationships within work (he’d learned his lesson with his ex-wife) but Rito, despite Atsushi’s polite rejection, was still interested in him. It made designing and fitting his costumes quite awkward at times. Rito was a very good-looking man, something the guitarist was aware of since he favored tiny costumes that left little to the imagination. Realizing he’d been looking at Rito for too long Atsushi turned his attention back to his bag. Damn it had his staring been obvious? He hoped not. Despite the awkwardness, Atsushi liked Rito and didn’t want to send the wrong message.
Rito had obviously noticed. Instead of trying to take advantage of the situation he merely gave Atsushi a warm smile then turned to Kiyoharu. “We’re ready?”
“Mm. Come on, Atsu.”
Atsushi followed Rito and Kiyoharu. He couldn’t help but feel nervous at the thought of going to the bar with Yasu and Rito. Both with feelings for him… hopefully this wouldn’t be awkward. Or at least as not as awkward as last time had been. Where both of them ended up drunk… quickly he pushed the memories away. No stress. Relax. That was what he needed to do. Worrying about his co-workers and their interest in him would only make his anxiety worse.
* * *
The bar was one they often went to after working. The owner knew them all by name and gave them discounts for customer loyalty. He was also generous with their beers—which often led to Atsushi drinking more than he’d planned to. He was a happy drunk though so it wasn’t much of a problem. People just had to put up with him being giggly and hyper. He would heed Imai’s warning though and not drink too much. Which was why he was sitting at a table with his second beer while the others had moved on to the bar and stronger drinks. Yasu had done so reluctantly… he’d obviously wanted to stay with Atsushi, but Kiyoharu had pushed him towards the bar. The designer felt like he should join everyone. The point of coming to the bar was to relax. He would only dwell on his thoughts if he stayed by himself. Atsushi glanced towards the bar where everyone was sitting and laughing together. Everyone but Rito. Where was he?
“Hey.” Atsushi started and spun around, blinking as he saw Rito standing next to him. The guitarist gave him an awkward smile. “It’s kind of… loud up there. Mind if I join you?”
Atsushi indicated the empty seat with his beer bottle. “Go ahead.” He hoped this wouldn’t be awkward. He missed when he could just talk to Rito without having to wonder what the guitarist wanted from him. It was the same with Yasu. What was so likeable about him anyway? Atsushi wished he knew.
Rito settled down across from him. He sat the beer on the table, slowly pushing the bottle between his hands. His eyes were focused on the bottle as if there were something on his mind. “Atsushi.” Rito slowly looked up. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
Atsushi slowly lowered his beer. “What is it?”
The guitarist looked away. “I…” he took a deep breath then met Atsushi’s gaze again. “I’m sorry. I know I… I make you uncomfortable because I act like a lovesick fanboy around you.” Rito was still gripping his beer. “I’m grateful to you for all you’ve done. I truly respect and admire you… and as much as I would love to have a relationship with you, not just a business one, I know it’s impossible. So I… I just wanted to say I’m sorry. For being so overt about this and making you awkward.” He sighed then looked up, obviously anxious that Atsushi wouldn’t accept his apology.
At first he was too surprised to say anything. “Rito, you don’t… you don’t have to apologize.” Rito felt guilty about having feelings for him, which just made Atsushi feel worse. “I’m… sorry that I made you feel so uncomfortable that you felt like you have to apologize.” He gave Rito an awkward smile. “I’m kind of… a horrible person to date anyway.” Every relationship he’d ever had ended in disaster. Divorce, breakup… it was a wonder he even bothered dating.
Rito’s smile was equally awkward. “I think everyone in the music business is hard to date. We’re always so busy.”
It wasn’t the same, but Atsushi didn’t want to correct him.
Rito pushed the beer away. “So can we just… go back to how we were? I’ve made things awkward enough.”
“I’d like that,” Atsushi said softly.
Rito’s smile was more natural this time. “Me too.”
Atsushi was about to say something but clutched his head as pain abruptly spiked through his skull. This wasn’t like the headaches he was used to having. They didn’t just… spring on him like this.
“Atsushi?” Rito tentatively touched his head. “What’s wrong?”
The designer slowly rubbed his pounding temples. “My head h-” he clapped his hand over his mouth as a wave of nausea swept through him. He doubled over, hair falling around his face like a curtain as he tried to keep the contents of his stomach where they belonged. Rito rushed over to him and pushed his hair back behind his ears to see his face.
“Atsushi. Atsushi, talk to me. What’s happening?”
Quickly he shook his head. If he opened his mouth he’d throw up all over Rito’s boots. Just as suddenly as it’d come, the nausea abruptly faded. Atsushi didn’t dare straighten up until he knew his stomach had settled. Rito’s hands fell to his shoulders as he slowly straightened in his chair. “Atsushi?” Rito looked worried. “What happened? You were holding your head and then…”
Atsushi slowly took a breath. “My head started hurting and then I felt like I was going to throw up. It just… went away. But my head still hurts.” Slumping forward like that hadn’t helped his head but it had helped his stomach. He glanced at the beer, wondering if that had triggered his headache. It shouldn’t. Two beers wouldn’t come close to getting him tipsy and shouldn’t be giving him a headache. Maybe it was the loud conversations and music in the bar? Or maybe there was something wrong with his head. He really didn’t want to think about that.
Rito’s hands slowly fell away from his shoulders. “Why don’t you go home and get some rest? It might help you.”
Atsushi nodded then winced and rubbed his temples. Moving his head too much was clearly a mistake as it just caused him more pain. “Yeah… I’ll go home.” He pulled his wallet out of his pocket. Atsushi started to the bar so he could pay his tab, followed by an anxious-looking Rito. Kiyoharu, always observant for when Atsushi was sick or not feeling well of any sort, immediately spun to look at him.
“You have another headache.”
“How did you know?”
“You’re wincing at the lights and the music.” Kiyoharu set his tequila down, sighing as he studied the longhaired designer. “What’s up with your head, Acchan? You keep getting headaches lately. Are you okay?”
Atsushi didn’t want to have this conversation right now. “I’m fine, really.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m fine,” Atsushi insisted. “It’s just a headache. I’ll go home and lay down… get some rest.” His traitorous mind returned to the nightmare. He had to check on Maki and make sure she was okay first before he went to bed. He wouldn’t be able to rest until he could confirm that the dream had been just that: a dream.
Kiyoharu nodded slowly. “All right. Take care of yourself, okay? Call me if you need anything.”
“I will.” Atsushi turned away from the bar, immediately clutching onto it as he suddenly felt dizzy. Rito took his arm for support while Kiyoharu moved to take his second arm. “I’m fine,” he protested. “I just felt dizzy all of a sudden…”
“You’re not going home alone,” Kiyoharu said flatly. “You’ll face plant on the sidewalk if you’re not careful. Come on.” Ignoring Atsushi’s protests, the two helped him out of the bar and outside where Rito hailed a cab. That made him protest further about the expense, how he could take the train… but his complaints were ignored. Kiyoharu tried to help him into the taxi but Atsushi glared at him until his assistant released him. He had a headache and mild dizziness. That didn’t make him pathetic and incapable of doing anything by himself. Once inside the cab Atsushi told the driver his address then slumped back the seat and closed his eyes. He’d check on Maki as soon as he got home then go lay down.
Atsushi had some time to himself after the photoshoot. He had just settled down to work on concept sketches when his phone buzzed. Imai had texted him.
Hey, Princess. Want to go out for lunch?
Atsushi rolled his eyes. Imai had far too much fun teasing him about his long hair. I’ll say yes as long as you don’t call me a princess.
The next text was a restaurant name and time. They would be meeting about an hour from now in a place that both were familiar with. Sound good?
Atsushi considered the restaurant. The food was good without being too expensive and there usually weren’t many people there. I’ll see you there. He pocketed his phone and picked up his pencil again. There was enough time to get some work done before he left for lunch.
* * *
Atsushi entered the restaurant and looked for Imai’s familiar blue hair. The other man had sent a text a few minutes ago to say he’d already arrived. He was here somewhere… Ah, over by the window. Imai had seated himself at a table with his phone in his hand. Atsushi walked over, dropping his bag in one of the empty seats then sitting across from Imai.
The other man glanced up from his phone and smirked. “I thought you were a girl at first.”
Atsushi rolled his eyes. More princess jokes? Imai needed new material. “Very funny.”
“You smell like roses.”
“I was at a photoshoot,” Atsushi explained. The roses had been a key part of the shoot so that explained his new… perfume. Smelling like a rosebush wasn’t ideal for him but there wasn’t much he could do about it. When Imai said nothing else, Atsushi picked up the menu and started glancing through it. He made a noise of complaint when Imai pushed the menu down, leaning forward to study his face. Feeling uncomfortable, Atsushi stared back. What was Imai up to now? His random scrutiny always made the designer feel uncomfortable.
“Are you alright? You look exhausted.” Imai traced the dark circles under Atsushi’s eyes. “You haven’t been sleeping well?”
“No I…” Atsushi trailed off, feeling like he’d been punched in the stomach as last night’s dream rolled over him. The note on his door. Maki’s body hanging from the ceiling with rejection letters at her feet. Maki speaking to him, trying to stop him from leaving… Atsushi didn’t realize he’d begun to tremble until Imai started rubbing his arm.
“Calm down, Acchan. What happened?”
Atsushi took a deep breath as he tried to regain his composure. How could he explain the nightmare? It was difficult to put the horror into words. “I… had a nightmare yesterday.” He raked his thick bangs back then looked at Imai. “I’ve been so busy today that I managed to forget until now. You… you remember Maki, right?”
Imai blinked. “The girl in the apartment above you?”
“Yes.”
“You had a nightmare about her?”
“It started with a note on my door…” Atsushi slowly explained the nightmare. Imai didn’t speak during his story but his frown deepened as the story progressed. Once the designer reached the end, Imai remained quiet. He was often like this when he was digesting new information. The blue-haired man picked up his water and drained it before leaning forward.
“I see why you’re disturbed. That was… some freaky shit. I’m sure Maki is fine though.” Imai patted Atsushi’s arm. “Dreams rarely make sense and it’s even rarer that they’re true. So don’t worry about her.”
“I don't know… it was so vivid…” Atsushi bit his lip as he looked at his menu. Part of him wondered if it really had been a dream. What would it be then? There was nothing remotely clairvoyant about him. He tried to convince himself that Imai was right, that Maki was fine. The only way to find out would be to check on her later. Once he knew she was okay, Atsushi wouldn’t have to worry anymore.
Imai shrugged. “Dreams usually are.”
A waitress came to take their orders, putting their conversation to a temporary halt. Atsushi quickly glanced through the menu while Imai placed his order. He settled on ramen and beer, deciding he needed a drink after everything he’d been through today. Once the waitress was gone, Imai looked at him again.
“About your dream… you’re probably just stressed about work. You’ve been busy lately so it makes sense.” Imai poked at his water glass, expression thoughtful. “You’ve only had a nightmare about Maki lately? No one… else?” Although Imai didn’t mention names, Atsushi knew what he was referring to. His childhood and dismal marriage were certainly enough to cause nightmares. He’d had plenty focused around both.
Atsushi rested his chin on his hand. “Only Maki. And I’m not stressed.” He was busy, yes, but he enjoyed the work. His professional life wasn’t an issue and there were no problems with his personal life. If he’d had this nightmare several months ago he would have blamed his ex-wife. She had caused so many problems for him… her lies, her refusal to sign the divorce papers, how she constantly tried to get him to come back and love her again. Finally she had given in and signed the papers. Once he was free from her, his life had improved.
Imai looked thoughtful. “Maybe you’re working too hard. Sometimes that causes nightmares.” He picked up his water glass to take a drink, setting it down once he’d drained it. “You should go out tonight. Get a drink, relax.” He frowned as he studied Atsushi again. “You seriously look like you need to unwind.”
Atsushi blinked. Maybe Imai was right. Relaxing could help… or was his busy life even the cause of the nightmare at all? Maybe his life in general was the problem. Sighing, he toyed with the ends of his hair. “I’ll try.” He glanced up as their waitress came with their food and drinks. She set the meals down in front of them then stepped back, bowing politely before walking away.
“Drink up.” Imai pushed Atsushi’s beer towards him with a smirk. “Careful tonight. You know how you’re like when you’re drink.”
Atsushi rolled his eyes as he took a drink. “Funny.” He set the beer down and picked up his chopsticks, mumbling, “Itadakimasu,” before starting on the ramen. Further conversation was put on hold as the pair focused on their lunch.
* * *
By the end of the workday, Atsushi was ready to hit the bar. Talking to Imai about the nightmare had made it impossible for him to focus on anything else. Details from the nightmare infiltrated their way into his sketches. Any work he’d done today would have to be redone when his mind was focused on his bands, not Maki’s possible suicide. Was it just a dream? Or was it real? Atsushi had been second-guessing himself all day. Part of him knew he should just go home. Check on Maki, make sure she was okay, then continue with his life. The more selfish part of him wanted to calm down first. Have fun, relax a little before he went home and faced his fears. Anyway, Maki was a student. Surely she was busy studying for her exams. If he came to talk to her later he wouldn’t have to worry about interrupting her studies.
He’d just convinced himself that it was okay to go to the bar when Kiyoharu and Rito walked up to him. “Hey, Atsu. Do you want to go out for drinks?” his assistant asked. “We’re meeting some people at the bar. Yasu and Satoshi are coming too.”
“Sure,” Atsushi replied. He gladly closed his sketchbook and started packing his bag. This would be the perfect distraction from Maki, the dream, and how pathetic he was for not going home now. Atsushi shot Rito a quick, nervous glance as he got up. He refused to have relationships within work (he’d learned his lesson with his ex-wife) but Rito, despite Atsushi’s polite rejection, was still interested in him. It made designing and fitting his costumes quite awkward at times. Rito was a very good-looking man, something the guitarist was aware of since he favored tiny costumes that left little to the imagination. Realizing he’d been looking at Rito for too long Atsushi turned his attention back to his bag. Damn it had his staring been obvious? He hoped not. Despite the awkwardness, Atsushi liked Rito and didn’t want to send the wrong message.
Rito had obviously noticed. Instead of trying to take advantage of the situation he merely gave Atsushi a warm smile then turned to Kiyoharu. “We’re ready?”
“Mm. Come on, Atsu.”
Atsushi followed Rito and Kiyoharu. He couldn’t help but feel nervous at the thought of going to the bar with Yasu and Rito. Both with feelings for him… hopefully this wouldn’t be awkward. Or at least as not as awkward as last time had been. Where both of them ended up drunk… quickly he pushed the memories away. No stress. Relax. That was what he needed to do. Worrying about his co-workers and their interest in him would only make his anxiety worse.
* * *
The bar was one they often went to after working. The owner knew them all by name and gave them discounts for customer loyalty. He was also generous with their beers—which often led to Atsushi drinking more than he’d planned to. He was a happy drunk though so it wasn’t much of a problem. People just had to put up with him being giggly and hyper. He would heed Imai’s warning though and not drink too much. Which was why he was sitting at a table with his second beer while the others had moved on to the bar and stronger drinks. Yasu had done so reluctantly… he’d obviously wanted to stay with Atsushi, but Kiyoharu had pushed him towards the bar. The designer felt like he should join everyone. The point of coming to the bar was to relax. He would only dwell on his thoughts if he stayed by himself. Atsushi glanced towards the bar where everyone was sitting and laughing together. Everyone but Rito. Where was he?
“Hey.” Atsushi started and spun around, blinking as he saw Rito standing next to him. The guitarist gave him an awkward smile. “It’s kind of… loud up there. Mind if I join you?”
Atsushi indicated the empty seat with his beer bottle. “Go ahead.” He hoped this wouldn’t be awkward. He missed when he could just talk to Rito without having to wonder what the guitarist wanted from him. It was the same with Yasu. What was so likeable about him anyway? Atsushi wished he knew.
Rito settled down across from him. He sat the beer on the table, slowly pushing the bottle between his hands. His eyes were focused on the bottle as if there were something on his mind. “Atsushi.” Rito slowly looked up. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
Atsushi slowly lowered his beer. “What is it?”
The guitarist looked away. “I…” he took a deep breath then met Atsushi’s gaze again. “I’m sorry. I know I… I make you uncomfortable because I act like a lovesick fanboy around you.” Rito was still gripping his beer. “I’m grateful to you for all you’ve done. I truly respect and admire you… and as much as I would love to have a relationship with you, not just a business one, I know it’s impossible. So I… I just wanted to say I’m sorry. For being so overt about this and making you awkward.” He sighed then looked up, obviously anxious that Atsushi wouldn’t accept his apology.
At first he was too surprised to say anything. “Rito, you don’t… you don’t have to apologize.” Rito felt guilty about having feelings for him, which just made Atsushi feel worse. “I’m… sorry that I made you feel so uncomfortable that you felt like you have to apologize.” He gave Rito an awkward smile. “I’m kind of… a horrible person to date anyway.” Every relationship he’d ever had ended in disaster. Divorce, breakup… it was a wonder he even bothered dating.
Rito’s smile was equally awkward. “I think everyone in the music business is hard to date. We’re always so busy.”
It wasn’t the same, but Atsushi didn’t want to correct him.
Rito pushed the beer away. “So can we just… go back to how we were? I’ve made things awkward enough.”
“I’d like that,” Atsushi said softly.
Rito’s smile was more natural this time. “Me too.”
Atsushi was about to say something but clutched his head as pain abruptly spiked through his skull. This wasn’t like the headaches he was used to having. They didn’t just… spring on him like this.
“Atsushi?” Rito tentatively touched his head. “What’s wrong?”
The designer slowly rubbed his pounding temples. “My head h-” he clapped his hand over his mouth as a wave of nausea swept through him. He doubled over, hair falling around his face like a curtain as he tried to keep the contents of his stomach where they belonged. Rito rushed over to him and pushed his hair back behind his ears to see his face.
“Atsushi. Atsushi, talk to me. What’s happening?”
Quickly he shook his head. If he opened his mouth he’d throw up all over Rito’s boots. Just as suddenly as it’d come, the nausea abruptly faded. Atsushi didn’t dare straighten up until he knew his stomach had settled. Rito’s hands fell to his shoulders as he slowly straightened in his chair. “Atsushi?” Rito looked worried. “What happened? You were holding your head and then…”
Atsushi slowly took a breath. “My head started hurting and then I felt like I was going to throw up. It just… went away. But my head still hurts.” Slumping forward like that hadn’t helped his head but it had helped his stomach. He glanced at the beer, wondering if that had triggered his headache. It shouldn’t. Two beers wouldn’t come close to getting him tipsy and shouldn’t be giving him a headache. Maybe it was the loud conversations and music in the bar? Or maybe there was something wrong with his head. He really didn’t want to think about that.
Rito’s hands slowly fell away from his shoulders. “Why don’t you go home and get some rest? It might help you.”
Atsushi nodded then winced and rubbed his temples. Moving his head too much was clearly a mistake as it just caused him more pain. “Yeah… I’ll go home.” He pulled his wallet out of his pocket. Atsushi started to the bar so he could pay his tab, followed by an anxious-looking Rito. Kiyoharu, always observant for when Atsushi was sick or not feeling well of any sort, immediately spun to look at him.
“You have another headache.”
“How did you know?”
“You’re wincing at the lights and the music.” Kiyoharu set his tequila down, sighing as he studied the longhaired designer. “What’s up with your head, Acchan? You keep getting headaches lately. Are you okay?”
Atsushi didn’t want to have this conversation right now. “I’m fine, really.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m fine,” Atsushi insisted. “It’s just a headache. I’ll go home and lay down… get some rest.” His traitorous mind returned to the nightmare. He had to check on Maki and make sure she was okay first before he went to bed. He wouldn’t be able to rest until he could confirm that the dream had been just that: a dream.
Kiyoharu nodded slowly. “All right. Take care of yourself, okay? Call me if you need anything.”
“I will.” Atsushi turned away from the bar, immediately clutching onto it as he suddenly felt dizzy. Rito took his arm for support while Kiyoharu moved to take his second arm. “I’m fine,” he protested. “I just felt dizzy all of a sudden…”
“You’re not going home alone,” Kiyoharu said flatly. “You’ll face plant on the sidewalk if you’re not careful. Come on.” Ignoring Atsushi’s protests, the two helped him out of the bar and outside where Rito hailed a cab. That made him protest further about the expense, how he could take the train… but his complaints were ignored. Kiyoharu tried to help him into the taxi but Atsushi glared at him until his assistant released him. He had a headache and mild dizziness. That didn’t make him pathetic and incapable of doing anything by himself. Once inside the cab Atsushi told the driver his address then slumped back the seat and closed his eyes. He’d check on Maki as soon as he got home then go lay down.
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Date: 2013-05-21 12:39 pm (UTC)Oh course everyone loves princess Acchan XD
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Date: 2013-05-24 02:17 am (UTC)No one can resist the lure of the princess! Not even the ghost that haunts his hotel room in the sequel to this... poor Acchan. Never gets a break from unwanted admirers.
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Date: 2013-05-24 06:22 am (UTC)poor Acchan ! If Acchan doesn't want Rito, I can have Rito XD
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Date: 2013-06-05 04:08 pm (UTC)Acchan is reserved for another man so you'll have to comfort Rito then XD
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Date: 2013-06-06 02:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-07 05:56 pm (UTC)I still think of him as Rito though :p especially for this fic... as I wouldn't want to deal with name/image changes
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Date: 2013-06-08 12:39 am (UTC)yes, he will always be Rito lol~
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Date: 2013-06-08 01:47 am (UTC)Lol yes he will
Posted Chapter 4~
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Date: 2013-06-08 02:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-21 08:48 pm (UTC)Poor Atsushi :( Good thing he wasn't on his own. I wonder what's going to happen when he goes to check on Maki? Can't wait to read more!
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Date: 2013-05-24 02:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-09 08:11 pm (UTC)