The Art of Denial 4/14 (Fanfiction)
Jun. 7th, 2013 08:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
write_my_dreamsTitle: The Art of Denial
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
write_my_dreams
Pairing: One-sided feelings for Atsushi
Bands: BUCK-TICK, Acid Black Cherry (Yasu), Solo (Kiyoharu), Lycaon
Genre: AU, paranormal, horror (sort of)
Warning/Disclaimer: Slight horror warning? Maki and Hisoka belong to me but Atsushi and the other named characters, alas, do not.
Rating: PG-13
Chapters: 4/14
Summary: After a girl commits suicide in his apartment, Atsushi starts getting headaches and having nightmares on an almost daily basis. Doctors can't figure out why he's having so many headaches and as time goes on Atsushi starts to realize there may be no logical explanation to his problem... but he's unwilling to accept there might be supernatural causes even though all the evidence points to it.
Author's Comment: This chapter was pretty easy to write, aside from Atsushi's dream. That one gave me some trouble. Ugh, I can't get this to post right. LJ is being screwy with formatting again... typical.
“I guess…” Atsushi smoothed his hair down then looked out the window. They were close to his apartment. The source of the noise was a police car and an ambulance, sirens wailing and bright lights illuminating the street. Several people were standing outside to see what the commotion was about while more looked out their windows. A chill went down Atsushi’s spine as he thought of Maki. Had his dream been real…?
“I wonder why there’s a police car here,” Rito said softly.
“Maybe someone was injured?” Kiyoharu suggested. “If there’s an ambulance and a police car here…” he trailed off as the taxi driver parked and turned around to face them. He had a small receipt in hand to show how much they owed for the ride. Atsushi started to take his wallet out so he could pay but Rito beat him to it.
Rito smiled a little. “Relax, I make more money than you.” The smile faded as he looked at the police car and ambulance again. What was going on here?
Atsushi decided not to fight him. Too many other things were happening. “All right. Thank you.” He watched as Kiyoharu got out of the car so Atsushi, who was sitting in the middle, could do the same. “Are you two going back to the bar?” The night was still young.
Rito shook his head. “I have some guitar parts I need to practice. I should… probably go home and do something productive.”
“My head is fine.” The nap seemed to have gotten rid of his headache. “You don’t have to…” he trailed off, eyes widening as he saw a police officer leading a sobbing Hisoka out of the apartment. Oh no. Atsushi’s heart started beating faster as he thought of Maki hanging from the ceiling. “That’s my neighbor.” Atsushi slowly approached the pair, who had reached the police car by now. Kiyoharu followed close behind him. “Hisoka?”
Hisoka and the officer turned to face him. The officer was older than Atsushi with a black notebook clasped in his hands. “Who are you?”
“My n-neighbor,” Hisoka replied, voice choked with sobs. “M-Maki…” his voice broke when he said his sister’s name. “Talked to him a lot. She… she wanted to work in the music industry. Like Atsushi does.”
Atsushi felt like he’d been stabbed. Maki… Hisoka would never be this emotional if his sister was still alive. “Where is Maki?” That question had Hisoka dissolving into sobs again as he shook his head. He obviously couldn’t bring himself to speak the words.
“Dead,” the officer replied.
“Whoa!” Kiyoharu rushed forward to catch him as Atsushi’s legs gave out. Only his assistant’s quick action saved him from collapsing. Maki… dead. Just as he’d dreamt. How had this happened? “Acchan!” Kiyoharu shook him. Atsushi shuddered then slowly straightened, able to support his own weight now. Kiyoharu was too slender to hold him up without hurting himself.
Hisoka sniffed. “She… she hung herself.”
Atsushi closed his eyes. She hung herself. Maki’s death was identical to his dream.
* * *
Everything became a blur after that. Atsushi vaguely recalled the police officer giving him a suspicious look after the way he reacted to Maki’s death. Kiyoharu and Hisoka had rushed to his defense, snapping that Atsushi would never have hurt her. That he had been at work or near Kiyoharu all day. The officer had backed down after that, mumbling that it was his job to investigate all possible suspects.
“I don’t think you should stay here tonight,” Kiyoharu had said. He’d taken Atsushi’s arm and pulled him back to the still-waiting taxi. “Stay with me tonight.” Atsushi had protested feebly—he didn’t have any clothes at Kiyoharu’s apartment, his cats needed him—but Kiyoharu had pushed him inside. Atsushi couldn’t remember much of the ride. He’d buried his face in his hands and slumped over, long hair veiling him from Rito and Kiyoharu. If he’d come home earlier… could he have saved Maki? Or had he been too late already? Had he dreamt about her suicide because she was already dead?
Ah… so they were at Kiyoharu’s apartment. Atsushi slowly ran trembling fingers through his hair. “I can’t believe she’s dead.”
“It’s horrible,” Rito said softly.
Kiyoharu stepped out of the taxi. “Come on, Acchan. I’ll make you some tea once we’re inside.”
“Do you need help with anything?” Rito was frowning again as he looked at Atsushi. He was obviously worried.
Kiyoharu shook his head. “I’ve got him.” He laid a supportive hand on Atsushi’s shoulder.
“All right. Both of you… don’t come to work tomorrow. And don’t come back the day after if you don’t feel like you can handle it.” Rito glanced at Atsushi then at Kiyoharu. “Atsushi’s in no shape to think about designing anything.” The guitarist looked at Atsushi again, lips parting as if to speak but he was silent. As if he didn’t know what to say. Atsushi forced himself to smile at Rito. That only served to make him more anxious. So much for reassuring. The designer sighed quickly then reached into his wallet as the driver turned around. This time he was able to pay his fare. All it took was a warning glare as Rito and Kiyoharu reached for his wallets. He didn’t need to be treated like an invalid who couldn’t pay for his own taxi rides.
Rito said goodbye, catching Atsushi’s arm as he started to get out of the taxi. “If too much is going on for you… don’t force yourself to work. We can manage without you.”
Atsushi wanted to say he would be fine. That he didn’t need to stay home and cope with his neighbor’s death. But he couldn’t get the words out. So instead he nodded before getting out of the taxi. He waved at Rito then followed Kiyoharu up to his apartment. Time seemed to blur again because the next thing he knew he was sitting on the couch with a cup of warm tea pressed into his hands.
“Drink your tea and take some deep breaths. Try to calm down,” Kiyoharu said quietly.
Atsushi rubbed his face with his free hand. “I don’t know,” he whispered. “I just wish I could have stopped her in time.”
Kiyoharu gave him a sad smile. “I don't know if you could have. Sometimes there’s no way to stop a suicidal person.” Gently he ruffled Atsushi’s hair. “Try not to dwell on it, okay? Maki’s death isn’t your fault.”
“I suppose…”
Atsushi’s half-hearted agreement didn’t convince anyone.
* * *
Atsushi stayed with Kiyoharu that night. He was invited to stay another (and tempted to accept) but needed to get back to his apartment to take care of the cats. He would only feel like he was intruding if he stayed with Kiyoharu. Besides… it was better to be home. Even if that home was tainted by death. Atsushi thought Hisoka might stop by his apartment but never did. He seemed to have shut himself in his own apartment, even though Atsushi tried contacting him. Knocking on the door, leaving notes… nothing worked. Whatever Hisoka was doing, he wasn’t interested in company. Atsushi had to accept that there was nothing he could do. So he’d continued with his life as best as he could, despite the headaches.
“Don’t think about it,” Atsushi muttered. He sighed as he grabbed a towel and started drying off. If the headaches kept up he would go see his doctor. There had to be an explanation for this. Atsushi got dressed then approached the mirror, wiping the steam away from it with his towel. His pale face with wet, messy hair was reflected back at him. He frowned as he studied his reflection. Maybe the headaches were caused by stress over Maki’s death? It seemed plausible until he remembered having headaches before his nightmare. Sighing, Atsushi flipped his long hair back so he could brush his teeth. Maybe he was just overthinking this. Kiyoharu and Yasu would tell him that he was. And… they were probably right. He would try not to think about Maki again tonight.
“Good night,” he murmured to the two cats before closing his eyes.
Old floorboards creaked under Atsushi’s bare feet as he slowly walked down the hallway. It must have been years since anyone set foot in this mansion. Windows were broken, the curtains moth-eaten and decayed, while a thick layer of dust covered the floor and furniture. There was no electricity so Atsushi had to rely on his flashlight and the moonlight shining through the broken windows to see. A particularly loud creak made him jump, shining the flashlight on the floor again. The creaky floorboards made him anxious. What would happen if the floor just… broke? Would the fall kill him? Atsushi shuddered and tried not to think about it. He just had to keep walking. Find a staircase to take him to lower levels—then find a door so he could get out of here.
Shivering, he rubbed his arm as he passed an open window. The temperature seemed to be dropping the further he went down the hallway. Did that mean he was approaching a staircase? Atsushi hoped he’d see stairs soon.
To his surprise, the hallway branched out into separate directions. The first ended in a closed door, the second continued without interruption, and the third curved around the corner so he couldn’t see what lay ahead. Atsushi bit his lip as he looked around. Something told him that he needed to choose carefully.
He started violently then spun around. Atsushi’s eyes widened as he saw Maki approaching him. “Maki?” he whispered. “What are you doing here?” Her presence made him anxious but a selfish part of him was grateful to have company. He frowned as she drew nearer. She looked ghostly with her pale skin and white dress. Several strings of pearls were clasped around her neck. Atsushi realized she was trying to cover the livid rope marks that circled her neck like a morbid choker. “Maki… your neck…” he stared in horror. What happened to her?
“There you are!” Maki smiled at him.
“What happened to your neck?”
Maki adjusted her pearls. “It’s nothing.”
“But…”
Maki interrupted him. “Are you looking for something?”
Her avoidance made him suspicious. He couldn’t force her to talk about it if she didn’t want to though. “I… I’m looking for stairs.” He frowned as he recalled the feeling of searching for something else. “I feel that there’s something else too. I just… don’t know what.”
“I do.” Maki smiled. “I’ll show you where they are.”
“What about an exit?”
Her smile faded. “Exit?” Chills went down Atsushi’s spine as Maki’s eyes flashed red. Then they were a warm brown again as her smile returned. What… what just happened? “Let’s find the stairs first.” Maki squeezed his hand then started walking. Atsushi slowly followed. Had he imagined her eyes changing? Or been fooled by the light? He hoped that was the case. He shone the flashlight on the floor again so he could warn Maki if she was about to step on glass because she, like him, was barefoot. Wait… Atsushi focused the beam at their feet. Atsushi left footprints through the dust. Maki… didn’t. He twisted so he could shine the light behind them. There should have been two sets of footprints approaching where they now stood, but there was only one. His prints. Horrified, Atsushi wrenched his hand from hers.
“The dust.”
Maki frowned. “What about it?”
Atsushi took a step back. “You have no footprints. What… what are you?”
Atsushi’s pulse quickened. “But you can touch me.” How could she hold his hand if she couldn’t leave footprints? It made no sense!
“Yes.” Maki reached for him. She caught his hand before he could pull back, curling her fingers around his. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “I won’t hurt you. I just need your help.”
Something about that was familiar. “What do you mean?”
Maki sighed. “I don’t know how to explain it. All I know is that I need your help. We should keep going though. Unless you want to stay in this hallway?”
Atsushi didn’t. As much as letting a ghost lead him through this ruined mansion scared him, it was far more unnerving to be here alone. With no idea where he was going. So he had no choice but to follow Maki. Still holding his hand, she led him down the third hallway. It was colder and dustier here. Atsushi’s unease deepened as he looked at their joined hands. What would happen when they reached the stairs? Maki had been upset when he asked about the exit. She needed him to help her so she wouldn’t let him leave. How was he supposed to help her? What could a living man do for a ghost? Would it be… dangerous for him? If so, he would have to escape from her. But how? He’d have to fight her to escape. How did one fight a ghost though? The hand holding the flashlight shook again as Atsushi imagined what could happen.
“Less dusty,” Atsushi muttered. He bumped into a wall hanging, coughing as it sent a cloud of dust into the air.
Maki giggled. “That’s true.” She continued down the hallway, leading him past a row of doors. Some were closed while others were open to show rooms as dusty and disused as the hallway. Were ghosts the sole inhabitant of this house? The thought made him shudder. “Shine your flashlight ahead of us. I think we’re almost there.” Atsushi obeyed. The flashlight beam fell on the polished wood of a staircase up ahead. “Come on!” She pulled him forward, taking the stairs two at a time. Afraid of tripping, Atsushi tried to pull his hand back. Her grip was far stronger than that of a teenage girl though. He couldn’t get his hand free. Atsushi did his best to keep up with her pace so he wouldn’t trip down the stairs. He breathed a sigh of relief once he stepped down to even ground. “We’re on the first level now.”
There should be a door nearby then! Atsushi raised the flashlight so he could shine it on the walls. There—on the far left! That was clearly a door. He couldn’t see it clearly but it was clearly an exit.
“What are you doing?”
Atsushi started at her question. “Nothing. Just trying to see what else is here.” He made a show of turning around and shining his flashlight at the other walls. He jumped as Maki tugged him closer to her. Even though she was smiling there was a warning in her eyes.
“You’re not thinking of leaving me, are you?” She reached out to touch his hair. “You can’t leave yet. I still need you,” she said softly.
“We need you.”
“W-We?” Atsushi’s voice cracked on the word.
Maki nodded. “Yes. Me and the other spirits in the house need you. They’re waiting in the basement. Well,” she giggled. “They’re waiting for you. I’m just supposed to bring you downstairs.”
Atsushi blanched. “Maki… I don’t want to go to the basement. I need to leave.”
Maki frowned. “You can’t.”
“I-” he started violently as icy hands moved up his arms, grasping his shoulders and pushing him forward. Atsushi slowly looked over his shoulder. He almost dropped the flashlight at the sight of a tall, pale man in a ragged black suit standing behind him. His eyes were the same red that Maki’s eyes had flashed earlier.
“You heard Maki. We’re waiting for you.” The ghost nudged him again as Maki pulled on his hand. He couldn’t take his hand back and couldn’t resist Maki because the ghost behind him would just push him forward. Atsushi started shaking again as he reluctantly followed Maki. She led him past the exit door, down the hallway, and towards another staircase. The flashlight couldn’t penetrate the deep darkness of the stairs. Every instinct screamed at him to get away.
“We have to, Atsushi. We need you,” Maki replied.
“Need you,” the ghost behind him echoed. As they neared the stairs the flashlight’s beam became stronger. Strong enough to illuminate the darkness. Atsushi dropped it with a shriek as he saw ghosts waiting on the stairs. The top two steps were empty but all other steps had a ghost on it. A ghost waiting for him.
“You’ve brought him,” the ghosts whispered.
Atsushi started violently when Maki released his hand. The ghost behind him seized his shoulders to prevent him from running while the other ghosts moved up the stairs. All of them had the same red eyes. They reached forward, grasping his hands and his arms to pull him down the stairs. Atsushi tried to fight but their icy hands seemed to drain the strength from him. It was all he could do to keep putting his feet forward so he wouldn’t be dragged down the stairs and hurt himself. Atsushi wanted to yell at them to let him go, but he was too terrified to speak. He couldn’t even scream. Once he and the ghosts had reached the bottom of the stairs they abruptly let him go and moved to stand behind him. A ghost with silver eyes that wore worn grey robes slowly approached him. The ghosts behind him grasped his arms again to prevent him from moving as their leader pulled a knife from his belt.
A noise of fear escaped him as a ghost grasped his long hair, pulling his head back to bare his throat. So he was supposed to “help” the ghosts by being murdered?! “Let me go!” Atsushi struggled to break free. The ghosts tightened their grip on his arms while the one holding his hair pulled his head back further. The leader stopped in front of him and raised the knife. Finally Atsushi found the voice to scream as the leader’s knife sliced across his throat, turning Atsushi’s vision red with his lifeblood.
* * *
Atsushi jerked awake, clutching his throat. He was in a cold sweat with the sheets tangled around his body. He was breathing heavily as if he’d just run a marathon. Bandit and Sphinx were still on his bed. The cats’ ears were back against their heads and they seemed uneasy. Atsushi fought his way free of the sheets then took deep breaths to calm down. It had just been another nightmare. While the one about Maki had somehow come true, he knew this one was purely the dark product of his mind. Ghosts didn’t exist. He had never seen a building like the one from his dream. Maki wouldn’t lead him to his untimely death in a dark basement. And a silver-eyed ghost wasn’t going to slit his throat. Atsushi shuddered as he wrapped his arms around himself. All that blood… he glanced down at himself, half-expecting his pajamas to be stained crimson. There was no blood though.
Shuddering, Atsushi picked up Sphinx as the cat moved towards his lap. Sphinx bumped his head against Atsushi’s cheek then started purring. The comforting sound helped him relax. He kissed the top of Sphinx’s head then carried him into the living room. Bandit jumped off the bed and followed at his heels. Atsushi sat down on the couch and laid Sphinx in his lap. The Siamese immediately curled up across his thighs, looking comfortable. Atsushi turned the TV on. He was too troubled to try to get any work done. Hopefully some mindless TV would distract him from the lingering horror of the nightmare.
Author:
write_my_dreamsPairing: One-sided feelings for Atsushi
Bands: BUCK-TICK, Acid Black Cherry (Yasu), Solo (Kiyoharu), Lycaon
Genre: AU, paranormal, horror (sort of)
Warning/Disclaimer: Slight horror warning? Maki and Hisoka belong to me but Atsushi and the other named characters, alas, do not.
Rating: PG-13
Chapters: 4/14
Summary: After a girl commits suicide in his apartment, Atsushi starts getting headaches and having nightmares on an almost daily basis. Doctors can't figure out why he's having so many headaches and as time goes on Atsushi starts to realize there may be no logical explanation to his problem... but he's unwilling to accept there might be supernatural causes even though all the evidence points to it.
Author's Comment: This chapter was pretty easy to write, aside from Atsushi's dream. That one gave me some trouble. Ugh, I can't get this to post right. LJ is being screwy with formatting again... typical.
Sirens startled Atsushi into wakefulness. One side of his face was resting on something… uncomfortable and there was a warm weight over his shoulders. Had he fallen asleep? Atsushi didn’t remember being so tired. He slowly straightened, feeling the arm fall away from his shoulders. He rubbed his eyes then glanced up to see who he’d been sleeping on. Ah, Kiyoharu. That explained the discomfort. He was too bony to serve as a comfortable pillow.
Kiyoharu smirked as he ruffled Atsushi’s hair. “Have a nice nap?”
“I guess…” Atsushi smoothed his hair down then looked out the window. They were close to his apartment. The source of the noise was a police car and an ambulance, sirens wailing and bright lights illuminating the street. Several people were standing outside to see what the commotion was about while more looked out their windows. A chill went down Atsushi’s spine as he thought of Maki. Had his dream been real…?
“I wonder why there’s a police car here,” Rito said softly.
“Maybe someone was injured?” Kiyoharu suggested. “If there’s an ambulance and a police car here…” he trailed off as the taxi driver parked and turned around to face them. He had a small receipt in hand to show how much they owed for the ride. Atsushi started to take his wallet out so he could pay but Rito beat him to it.
“Rito!” Atsushi protested. “You don’t need to pay for this.”
Rito smiled a little. “Relax, I make more money than you.” The smile faded as he looked at the police car and ambulance again. What was going on here?
Atsushi decided not to fight him. Too many other things were happening. “All right. Thank you.” He watched as Kiyoharu got out of the car so Atsushi, who was sitting in the middle, could do the same. “Are you two going back to the bar?” The night was still young.
Rito shook his head. “I have some guitar parts I need to practice. I should… probably go home and do something productive.”
Kiyoharu shrugged. “I’ll probably go back. Focus on you though, Acchan.” He waited until his boss was out of the car before laying a supportive hand on his arm. “I’ll walk you up to your apartment. In case you get dizzy again. Oh, how’s your head? I meant to ask earlier but got distracted by the sirens.”
“My head is fine.” The nap seemed to have gotten rid of his headache. “You don’t have to…” he trailed off, eyes widening as he saw a police officer leading a sobbing Hisoka out of the apartment. Oh no. Atsushi’s heart started beating faster as he thought of Maki hanging from the ceiling. “That’s my neighbor.” Atsushi slowly approached the pair, who had reached the police car by now. Kiyoharu followed close behind him. “Hisoka?”
Hisoka and the officer turned to face him. The officer was older than Atsushi with a black notebook clasped in his hands. “Who are you?”
“My n-neighbor,” Hisoka replied, voice choked with sobs. “M-Maki…” his voice broke when he said his sister’s name. “Talked to him a lot. She… she wanted to work in the music industry. Like Atsushi does.”
Atsushi felt like he’d been stabbed. Maki… Hisoka would never be this emotional if his sister was still alive. “Where is Maki?” That question had Hisoka dissolving into sobs again as he shook his head. He obviously couldn’t bring himself to speak the words.
“Dead,” the officer replied.
“Whoa!” Kiyoharu rushed forward to catch him as Atsushi’s legs gave out. Only his assistant’s quick action saved him from collapsing. Maki… dead. Just as he’d dreamt. How had this happened? “Acchan!” Kiyoharu shook him. Atsushi shuddered then slowly straightened, able to support his own weight now. Kiyoharu was too slender to hold him up without hurting himself.
“How did she die?”
Hisoka sniffed. “She… she hung herself.”
Atsushi closed his eyes. She hung herself. Maki’s death was identical to his dream.
* * *
Everything became a blur after that. Atsushi vaguely recalled the police officer giving him a suspicious look after the way he reacted to Maki’s death. Kiyoharu and Hisoka had rushed to his defense, snapping that Atsushi would never have hurt her. That he had been at work or near Kiyoharu all day. The officer had backed down after that, mumbling that it was his job to investigate all possible suspects.
“I don’t think you should stay here tonight,” Kiyoharu had said. He’d taken Atsushi’s arm and pulled him back to the still-waiting taxi. “Stay with me tonight.” Atsushi had protested feebly—he didn’t have any clothes at Kiyoharu’s apartment, his cats needed him—but Kiyoharu had pushed him inside. Atsushi couldn’t remember much of the ride. He’d buried his face in his hands and slumped over, long hair veiling him from Rito and Kiyoharu. If he’d come home earlier… could he have saved Maki? Or had he been too late already? Had he dreamt about her suicide because she was already dead?
“Atsushi!” He jumped at the sound of his name. Atsushi straightened (had he been slumped over the entire time? He couldn’t remember) to see Kiyoharu and Rito giving him concerned looks. “We’re here,” his assistant explained.
Ah… so they were at Kiyoharu’s apartment. Atsushi slowly ran trembling fingers through his hair. “I can’t believe she’s dead.”
“It’s horrible,” Rito said softly.
Kiyoharu stepped out of the taxi. “Come on, Acchan. I’ll make you some tea once we’re inside.”
“Do you need help with anything?” Rito was frowning again as he looked at Atsushi. He was obviously worried.
Kiyoharu shook his head. “I’ve got him.” He laid a supportive hand on Atsushi’s shoulder.
“All right. Both of you… don’t come to work tomorrow. And don’t come back the day after if you don’t feel like you can handle it.” Rito glanced at Atsushi then at Kiyoharu. “Atsushi’s in no shape to think about designing anything.” The guitarist looked at Atsushi again, lips parting as if to speak but he was silent. As if he didn’t know what to say. Atsushi forced himself to smile at Rito. That only served to make him more anxious. So much for reassuring. The designer sighed quickly then reached into his wallet as the driver turned around. This time he was able to pay his fare. All it took was a warning glare as Rito and Kiyoharu reached for his wallets. He didn’t need to be treated like an invalid who couldn’t pay for his own taxi rides.
“Bye, Rito,” Kiyoharu said.
Rito said goodbye, catching Atsushi’s arm as he started to get out of the taxi. “If too much is going on for you… don’t force yourself to work. We can manage without you.”
Atsushi wanted to say he would be fine. That he didn’t need to stay home and cope with his neighbor’s death. But he couldn’t get the words out. So instead he nodded before getting out of the taxi. He waved at Rito then followed Kiyoharu up to his apartment. Time seemed to blur again because the next thing he knew he was sitting on the couch with a cup of warm tea pressed into his hands.
“Drink your tea and take some deep breaths. Try to calm down,” Kiyoharu said quietly.
Atsushi sipped the tea. It was green tea… not that it mattered. He liked most teas regardless of the flavor. “I dreamt she was dead,” he confessed, glancing up to see Kiyoharu’s reaction. His assistant frowned but didn’t ask questions. He was obviously waiting for Atsushi to elaborate. “I dreamt that she’d left a note on my apartment door, wanting to see me. So I went to hers…” Atsushi described the dream to Kiyoharu. Once he finished he took a sip of his tea, anxious about what his assistant would say.
Kiyoharu sighed. “No wonder you were so upset when you heard about her death.” He sat down next to Atsushi. “I guess… you had that dream because you sensed something was wrong. It’s not your fault though.” He smirked at the surprised look on Atsushi’s face. “I know you well enough to know that you’ll blame yourself. There’s nothing you could have done though. Maki… might have been dead already by the time you had that dream.”
Atsushi rubbed his face with his free hand. “I don’t know,” he whispered. “I just wish I could have stopped her in time.”
Kiyoharu gave him a sad smile. “I don't know if you could have. Sometimes there’s no way to stop a suicidal person.” Gently he ruffled Atsushi’s hair. “Try not to dwell on it, okay? Maki’s death isn’t your fault.”
“I suppose…”
Atsushi’s half-hearted agreement didn’t convince anyone.
* * *
Atsushi stayed with Kiyoharu that night. He was invited to stay another (and tempted to accept) but needed to get back to his apartment to take care of the cats. He would only feel like he was intruding if he stayed with Kiyoharu. Besides… it was better to be home. Even if that home was tainted by death. Atsushi thought Hisoka might stop by his apartment but never did. He seemed to have shut himself in his own apartment, even though Atsushi tried contacting him. Knocking on the door, leaving notes… nothing worked. Whatever Hisoka was doing, he wasn’t interested in company. Atsushi had to accept that there was nothing he could do. So he’d continued with his life as best as he could, despite the headaches.
Why headaches? Atsushi wondered as he stepped out of the shower. What was going on with his head? Out of curiosity, he’d done some research on headaches earlier. Then quickly stopped because it was making him paranoid. He couldn’t have a brain tumor… could he?
“Don’t think about it,” Atsushi muttered. He sighed as he grabbed a towel and started drying off. If the headaches kept up he would go see his doctor. There had to be an explanation for this. Atsushi got dressed then approached the mirror, wiping the steam away from it with his towel. His pale face with wet, messy hair was reflected back at him. He frowned as he studied his reflection. Maybe the headaches were caused by stress over Maki’s death? It seemed plausible until he remembered having headaches before his nightmare. Sighing, Atsushi flipped his long hair back so he could brush his teeth. Maybe he was just overthinking this. Kiyoharu and Yasu would tell him that he was. And… they were probably right. He would try not to think about Maki again tonight.
Once he’d brushed his teeth and combed the tangles out of his hair, Atsushi went to his bedroom. Bandit was waiting on Atsushi’s pillow while Sphinx was sprawled out on his pajama pants. “Sphinx,” Atsushi complained, gently moving the cat aside so he could get dressed. Sphinx meowed in protest and settled down nearby. He gave Atsushi a reproachful look. Once dressed, Atsushi wrapped his hair in one of his hair towels then flopped down on the bed. Sphinx decided to forgive him as he moved to curl up on Atsushi’s chest. That made him smile.
“Good night,” he murmured to the two cats before closing his eyes.
* * *
Old floorboards creaked under Atsushi’s bare feet as he slowly walked down the hallway. It must have been years since anyone set foot in this mansion. Windows were broken, the curtains moth-eaten and decayed, while a thick layer of dust covered the floor and furniture. There was no electricity so Atsushi had to rely on his flashlight and the moonlight shining through the broken windows to see. A particularly loud creak made him jump, shining the flashlight on the floor again. The creaky floorboards made him anxious. What would happen if the floor just… broke? Would the fall kill him? Atsushi shuddered and tried not to think about it. He just had to keep walking. Find a staircase to take him to lower levels—then find a door so he could get out of here.
Moonlight shining off glass up ahead caught his attention. Biting his lip, Atsushi dodged the glass shards. His bare feet were another concern. If he cut his feet on broken glass or got a splinter… no, he didn’t want to think about it. Atsushi shuddered and kept walking. He had to find an exit. Or… did he? There had to be a reason for him coming to this mansion. But what? Atsushi couldn’t remember. He couldn't remember where the mansion was, how he’d gotten here. Couldn’t remember why he was walking barefoot in his pajamas.
Shivering, he rubbed his arm as he passed an open window. The temperature seemed to be dropping the further he went down the hallway. Did that mean he was approaching a staircase? Atsushi hoped he’d see stairs soon.
To his surprise, the hallway branched out into separate directions. The first ended in a closed door, the second continued without interruption, and the third curved around the corner so he couldn’t see what lay ahead. Atsushi bit his lip as he looked around. Something told him that he needed to choose carefully.
“Atsushi,” a familiar voice called. “Atsushi, is that you?”
He started violently then spun around. Atsushi’s eyes widened as he saw Maki approaching him. “Maki?” he whispered. “What are you doing here?” Her presence made him anxious but a selfish part of him was grateful to have company. He frowned as she drew nearer. She looked ghostly with her pale skin and white dress. Several strings of pearls were clasped around her neck. Atsushi realized she was trying to cover the livid rope marks that circled her neck like a morbid choker. “Maki… your neck…” he stared in horror. What happened to her?
“There you are!” Maki smiled at him.
“What happened to your neck?”
Maki adjusted her pearls. “It’s nothing.”
“But…”
Maki interrupted him. “Are you looking for something?”
Her avoidance made him suspicious. He couldn’t force her to talk about it if she didn’t want to though. “I… I’m looking for stairs.” He frowned as he recalled the feeling of searching for something else. “I feel that there’s something else too. I just… don’t know what.”
Maki laughed softly as she took his free hand. Her touch made him shiver again. Her fingers were ice cold. Atsushi curled his fingers around hers, trying to warm that icy hand with his. “I’ve been looking for you, silly!” she laughed, a sound that seemed out of place in this dark hall. “Weren’t you looking for me too?”
“I…” Atsushi didn’t know. It would explain why both of them were here. “I guess I was. Do you know where the stairs are?”
“I do.” Maki smiled. “I’ll show you where they are.”
“What about an exit?”
Her smile faded. “Exit?” Chills went down Atsushi’s spine as Maki’s eyes flashed red. Then they were a warm brown again as her smile returned. What… what just happened? “Let’s find the stairs first.” Maki squeezed his hand then started walking. Atsushi slowly followed. Had he imagined her eyes changing? Or been fooled by the light? He hoped that was the case. He shone the flashlight on the floor again so he could warn Maki if she was about to step on glass because she, like him, was barefoot. Wait… Atsushi focused the beam at their feet. Atsushi left footprints through the dust. Maki… didn’t. He twisted so he could shine the light behind them. There should have been two sets of footprints approaching where they now stood, but there was only one. His prints. Horrified, Atsushi wrenched his hand from hers.
“Atsushi?” Maki turned to face him. “What’s the matter?” She looked concerned.
“The dust.”
Maki frowned. “What about it?”
Atsushi took a step back. “You have no footprints. What… what are you?”
Maki reached for his hand, giving him a sad look as he recoiled. “Atsushi… I’m dead,” she said. “That’s why I have no footprints.”
Atsushi’s pulse quickened. “But you can touch me.” How could she hold his hand if she couldn’t leave footprints? It made no sense!
“Yes.” Maki reached for him. She caught his hand before he could pull back, curling her fingers around his. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “I won’t hurt you. I just need your help.”
Something about that was familiar. “What do you mean?”
Maki sighed. “I don’t know how to explain it. All I know is that I need your help. We should keep going though. Unless you want to stay in this hallway?”
Atsushi didn’t. As much as letting a ghost lead him through this ruined mansion scared him, it was far more unnerving to be here alone. With no idea where he was going. So he had no choice but to follow Maki. Still holding his hand, she led him down the third hallway. It was colder and dustier here. Atsushi’s unease deepened as he looked at their joined hands. What would happen when they reached the stairs? Maki had been upset when he asked about the exit. She needed him to help her so she wouldn’t let him leave. How was he supposed to help her? What could a living man do for a ghost? Would it be… dangerous for him? If so, he would have to escape from her. But how? He’d have to fight her to escape. How did one fight a ghost though? The hand holding the flashlight shook again as Atsushi imagined what could happen.
“I wonder what the mansion was like before it fell into ruin,” Maki mused.
“Less dusty,” Atsushi muttered. He bumped into a wall hanging, coughing as it sent a cloud of dust into the air.
Maki giggled. “That’s true.” She continued down the hallway, leading him past a row of doors. Some were closed while others were open to show rooms as dusty and disused as the hallway. Were ghosts the sole inhabitant of this house? The thought made him shudder. “Shine your flashlight ahead of us. I think we’re almost there.” Atsushi obeyed. The flashlight beam fell on the polished wood of a staircase up ahead. “Come on!” She pulled him forward, taking the stairs two at a time. Afraid of tripping, Atsushi tried to pull his hand back. Her grip was far stronger than that of a teenage girl though. He couldn’t get his hand free. Atsushi did his best to keep up with her pace so he wouldn’t trip down the stairs. He breathed a sigh of relief once he stepped down to even ground. “We’re on the first level now.”
There should be a door nearby then! Atsushi raised the flashlight so he could shine it on the walls. There—on the far left! That was clearly a door. He couldn’t see it clearly but it was clearly an exit.
“What are you doing?”
Atsushi started at her question. “Nothing. Just trying to see what else is here.” He made a show of turning around and shining his flashlight at the other walls. He jumped as Maki tugged him closer to her. Even though she was smiling there was a warning in her eyes.
“You’re not thinking of leaving me, are you?” She reached out to touch his hair. “You can’t leave yet. I still need you,” she said softly.
“We need you.”
“W-We?” Atsushi’s voice cracked on the word.
Maki nodded. “Yes. Me and the other spirits in the house need you. They’re waiting in the basement. Well,” she giggled. “They’re waiting for you. I’m just supposed to bring you downstairs.”
Atsushi blanched. “Maki… I don’t want to go to the basement. I need to leave.”
Maki frowned. “You can’t.”
“I-” he started violently as icy hands moved up his arms, grasping his shoulders and pushing him forward. Atsushi slowly looked over his shoulder. He almost dropped the flashlight at the sight of a tall, pale man in a ragged black suit standing behind him. His eyes were the same red that Maki’s eyes had flashed earlier.
“You heard Maki. We’re waiting for you.” The ghost nudged him again as Maki pulled on his hand. He couldn’t take his hand back and couldn’t resist Maki because the ghost behind him would just push him forward. Atsushi started shaking again as he reluctantly followed Maki. She led him past the exit door, down the hallway, and towards another staircase. The flashlight couldn’t penetrate the deep darkness of the stairs. Every instinct screamed at him to get away.
“Maki,” Atsushi whispered. “We… We shouldn’t go down there.” He tried to hold still, to stop moving, but both ghosts were merciless. The one behind him shoved him forward while Maki pulled him after her. All too soon they would be at the stairs.
“We have to, Atsushi. We need you,” Maki replied.
“Need you,” the ghost behind him echoed. As they neared the stairs the flashlight’s beam became stronger. Strong enough to illuminate the darkness. Atsushi dropped it with a shriek as he saw ghosts waiting on the stairs. The top two steps were empty but all other steps had a ghost on it. A ghost waiting for him.
“You’ve brought him,” the ghosts whispered.
Atsushi started violently when Maki released his hand. The ghost behind him seized his shoulders to prevent him from running while the other ghosts moved up the stairs. All of them had the same red eyes. They reached forward, grasping his hands and his arms to pull him down the stairs. Atsushi tried to fight but their icy hands seemed to drain the strength from him. It was all he could do to keep putting his feet forward so he wouldn’t be dragged down the stairs and hurt himself. Atsushi wanted to yell at them to let him go, but he was too terrified to speak. He couldn’t even scream. Once he and the ghosts had reached the bottom of the stairs they abruptly let him go and moved to stand behind him. A ghost with silver eyes that wore worn grey robes slowly approached him. The ghosts behind him grasped his arms again to prevent him from moving as their leader pulled a knife from his belt.
“You can save us,” Maki whispered.
A noise of fear escaped him as a ghost grasped his long hair, pulling his head back to bare his throat. So he was supposed to “help” the ghosts by being murdered?! “Let me go!” Atsushi struggled to break free. The ghosts tightened their grip on his arms while the one holding his hair pulled his head back further. The leader stopped in front of him and raised the knife. Finally Atsushi found the voice to scream as the leader’s knife sliced across his throat, turning Atsushi’s vision red with his lifeblood.
* * *
Atsushi jerked awake, clutching his throat. He was in a cold sweat with the sheets tangled around his body. He was breathing heavily as if he’d just run a marathon. Bandit and Sphinx were still on his bed. The cats’ ears were back against their heads and they seemed uneasy. Atsushi fought his way free of the sheets then took deep breaths to calm down. It had just been another nightmare. While the one about Maki had somehow come true, he knew this one was purely the dark product of his mind. Ghosts didn’t exist. He had never seen a building like the one from his dream. Maki wouldn’t lead him to his untimely death in a dark basement. And a silver-eyed ghost wasn’t going to slit his throat. Atsushi shuddered as he wrapped his arms around himself. All that blood… he glanced down at himself, half-expecting his pajamas to be stained crimson. There was no blood though.
“Just a dream,” Atsushi whispered. He took another breath then turned to look at the clock. It was five in the morning. Too early to be awake but he didn’t dare go back to sleep after what he’d just dreamt about.
Shuddering, Atsushi picked up Sphinx as the cat moved towards his lap. Sphinx bumped his head against Atsushi’s cheek then started purring. The comforting sound helped him relax. He kissed the top of Sphinx’s head then carried him into the living room. Bandit jumped off the bed and followed at his heels. Atsushi sat down on the couch and laid Sphinx in his lap. The Siamese immediately curled up across his thighs, looking comfortable. Atsushi turned the TV on. He was too troubled to try to get any work done. Hopefully some mindless TV would distract him from the lingering horror of the nightmare.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-06-09 08:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-09 11:52 pm (UTC)He has a lot of headaches and nightmares in his future lol
no subject
Date: 2013-06-09 10:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-09 11:54 pm (UTC)In her defense, she's not herself.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-10 07:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-10 09:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-11 08:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-11 03:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-11 04:36 pm (UTC)